Afternoon tea Gossip

Free Lance, Volume IV, Issue 174, 31 October 1903, Page 10

Afternoon tea Gossip

By Little Miss Muffitt.

THE Lance spoke a piece about Lord Methven, the soldier's friend a while ago. Methven has been speakmg a piece about the colonials'. He says "The shrewdest men, I have ever had to deal with aire the colonials, anything that they do not know is not worth knowing. They were quite the Beer's equal in everything but courage, in which quality they excelled him greatly." It was an Australian lieutenant who said . "Trust to Methven to know the best men, and' trust him to get the best out of tihem, too'" And this was said before the General began "cracking up" the colonials- * * * The "much travelled" Smythe has a gifted son, Carlyle Smythe. He does the! musical and tfneaxincal criticisms on the Melbourne "Argus." He ens to get married next year, Wxien he will beam for ai short space on the beauties of New Zealand, the ideal land for a honeymoon. Carlyle Smythe is a genial pressman, and plies a, graceful Printed that Miss Nina Osborne, who is mostly remembered in Wellington for her singing of "Tact," is to marry a Major RoberLaon. of the Capetown Highlanders, "who was all through the South African campaign." Pretty general that "all through." The Capetown Highlanders were on "lines of commujuoatior." during the whole course of the war. Very aggravating, o? course, but without glory. * * * Pardon, me if I tell another Crossley tale. Land suddenly went up a pound an acre in a little backblooks Tasmanian town recently. A Victorian, who had arranged to buy some, was extremely angry when he went tb pay the purchase money to find the price had been raised. Fact was, there was a Crossley boom on. Miss Ada is supposed to have walked across that particular paddock in her early girlhood. * i fFederal Governor Tennyson and Lady Tennyson recently visited the deaf mutes institution in Melbourne. According to a particularly solemn Melbourne daily. His Excellency chatted pleasantly with the unfortunates. Furthermore, whem vice-royalty left "the deaf mut s gave tihem three) ringing cheers." I mi2;ht say, in case you believe the proprietory cf that daily to be Irish, that the head and front, two ends^, and middle are Scotch to the marrow. * # * There is a Wellington youngster who has wit, although she is at present suffering from a childish complaint. The doctor called to see her a few mornings ago. He spoke kindly to her, and asked the usual question "Was she getting better?" She replied with the startling assertion that she had beem unconscious for eight hours ' The doctor looked grave, and called tlhe parents. The smart youngster then explained that for the first time for a week she had 1 slept for eight hours. * # * Mr. E. M. Smith, the member for Ironsasnd, recently asked in the House when those two Boer guns were to be given him for New Plymouth. Perhaps, they are still in the factory. It i» computed that if the Boers had the artillery alleped to have been captured from them in the field at the present moment, they would be the best equipped in the world. A trophy gun, alleged to have been caiptured, wasi recently fired at Blackbridge, England. It killed four artillerymen and some horses. It had been made six months before in an English arsenal. * * * I think it is rather more than unkind for local people to cavil about that sacred concert, given by resting professionals recently, calling it a "moneyraising dodge " and all that sort of thing. Wellington is simply over-run withTstranded mummers, who are bound to raise the wind somehow. In prosperity, the clean-shaven orowd are ratlhter nice people to meet, but, however good an actor is, if business goes slack the public for whom they slave are ready to heave the first brick. The people who growled about that silver collection ought to be debarred from earning a crust for a few days.

Exact copy of a letter sent to a country storekeeper by a client — "Please send me 1 pound cofe and and some te my wife had a son, last night also 10 pounds of cheese and a lat trop he weighs 1\ pounds and some nails and a hatchet. Yours, respectly, John Smith." * * * Australia is creeping ahead of us. Tine schools over there are teaching writing and drawing with either hand, and the number of ambidextnstsi is growing. In Japanese schools pupils have always been taiught to use 1 either hand with equal ease. If I used my left hand the "oomps" would retare. As li, is, they merely swear. * # * Of course, you have heard that athletics decrease 1 the size of one's feet. Thus, if you wear a No. 9 boot this year, and take to Sandow, or Harrison, or Dovey, you wear "eights" next year, and so on, until you don't need any boots at all, or something like that. Scientists explain it, although I cannot. According to this theory, the average policeman is no athlete. * ♦ * Noticeable that Ohristohurch people, although apparently "tired" and slow moving in comparison to Wellmgtonlans, evidcntlv always anticipate runs on. banks. On a recent visit I saw quite considerable crowds outside many banking institutions waiting for 10 o'clock opening. Getting money seems to be the only thing that stirs the Christchurch people out of a walk. * • * I happened to be on the Mararoa on the way from Christohurch the other day. There was a dear old lady at the saloon dining table. "King Dick's got another surplus," said her son to a mam on; his right. Then the old lady "chipped in." "Well, I should have thought he was rich enough to wear half-a-dozen if he wanted to." She evidently thought some kind of garment w as referred to. * * * Bishop Potter, of the Anglican Church in New York, states that when leaving a railway train he makes it a rule to touch his hat to the engineer, whose skill, nerve, sagacity, and fidelity have brought it with its precious burden of human lives safely to its destination. Sort of saluting your superiors. The average person touches his hat to the person whose skill, sagacity, and all that kind of thing have made the hat-toucher a poor man. * * * Miss Ada Crossley does not mind fatigue. She is such a good girl. Heir m?Aiugers,^howave:-, raeently prohibited hor from shaking hands with a crowd of people. The grent singer had started in to pump-handle a of people at a mayoral reception, when "J. C." rushed in. and implored her for the. love of hor voice to desist. Miss Grossley therefrom merely wafted a oomprohensive smile among tho unshaken ones to cut up among them. * ♦ ♦ One of the sights at the Press picnic, at the Hutt Gardens, the other Sunday, was tho arcadian simplicity with which the great men of the Empire. City entered into the joys of childhood. ' Mr. J. L. Kelly, editor of the "Times," soberly attired, and with the everpresent cigarette-holder between his teeth, seated on a swing, gently swaying — a. man who guides destinies with the iron hand of that g^eat weapon, tihe daily paper leader, swinging like a happy little boy! It was too much foi me — I dodged behind a tree, and w e.pt.