IT IS TOWN TALK

Free Lance, Volume IV, Issue 165, 29 August 1903, Page 26

IT IS TOWN TALK

-That a local youngster faded to respond to the doctor's order to put out opimu. w Tvunted out that such an act. —That there is a shortage of a million and a-half of sheep in New Zealand this year. We, therefore intend that England shall consume only New Zealand mutton. That a- country paper remarks that it will be reassuring to railway travellers to know that the tarpaulin tent accommodation at Wellington has been extended." —That, probably, the only hope Sir "Tea" Lipton has of winning the yacht "Cup" is to have a orew of New Zealand yachtsmen. "Speed" is the ideal skipper he wants. —That the only team the New Zealand footballers failed to beat were composed of mosquitoes. They lett their mark. New Zealanders are always extra juicy. —That Mr. Justice Conolly believes that the thieving propensities of modern boys' are cultivated by means oi "pestilent literature" The judges opinion will be warmly supported. That several policemen made a raid on a boarding-house in Wellington last week, in search of concealed goodsThey found them in the pantry. The policemen were boarders, however. That a recent ladies v. men Wairarapa hockey match resulted in a "tie." One fair player was damaged. \ susceptible doctor on the male side^— but there, it's a case of wedding bells. —That extract, of real beer is now a marketable commodity in prohibition centres. You can carry enough to brew three gallons m your waistcoat pocket. I>id we hear a faint ''Hurrah"? —That the late miserly Melbourne ex-constable, a note about whom appears elesewhere, was one time asked why he didn't go fishing. "Worms aie so expensive" he said; "so very expensive." That a good watch-dog is almost a necessity, but the mastiff who kept his late-coming owner "bailed up" in his own yard in Newtown from 12 midnight till 4 on Wednesday morning, is going to be sold. That on a Southern section of our railways, whither those promised Government foot^waxmers have not yet found their way, a widow is turning an honest penny by selling hot bricks to cold travellers. — That last Sunday was the first summery day we have had this season. Many acres of sodden finery, how ever meandered mournfully back to town about 5 o'clock. The weather simply can't make up its mind in Wellington. — That the rumour current, naming a Christchurch butcher as manager for the New Zealand meat shops, m London, is supposed to have been started in a alcoholic moment by a slaughterman, who wished to unduly exalt his "boss." — That a recently-captured Northern burglar exolained his presence in a house by stating that he had lost a gold watch five years ago, and that a clairvoyant had informed him it had been stolen by the householder. Ingenious ? —That among the applicants for the position of medical man to a country district, one man said he had no previous experience, "but he was willing to learn." One of his special claims to notice was that he had learnt the butchering trade. — That the latest political threat is the creation of a new "people's party," which will overthrow things in general in the interests of "clean Government." Of course, the party that has braved the battle and the breeze for twelve years is not a "people's party," is it p Wonder whose party it is? — That the "poor farmer" doesn't view the formation of a Farm Labourers' Union with pleasure. One farmer's paper says "We observe that the factory hand wolf is endeavouring to persuade the farm labourer lamb that the devourer and his prey have interests in common." — That Queensland "blackf ellows, " who saw the New Zealand-Queensland match, took a great fancy to Asher. of Auckland, who is rather dark-skinned. They made some startling offers for him to stay, among which were the promise of a Queensland gin for a wife. Charming!