AN M.H.R. ABROAD. "Our Tom's" Trip.

Free Lance, Volume IV, Issue 165, 29 August 1903, Page 8

AN M.H.R. ABROAD. "Our Tom's" Trip.

THE Hutt, and incidentally New Zealand, is proud of its Tom Wilford, for, next to the Premier, no one was better fitted to astonish the natives than the debonair banister, whose name is at present on the hps of his attached constituents. Unquestionably, Tom's friends and enemies (a banister has enemies) will be glad to hear he is sound in wind and limb once more. We learn that wherever the genial Huttite went he used his gifts for the uplifting and enlightenment of the denizens of Darkest England. _ * * He was able to point out to the English Press that the Lords of the Privy Council, like necessity, knew no law, and he made a, point-to-point steeplechase over what might have been +o otheis insuperable obstacles in endeavouring to second the Premier's meat-shop scheme in Great Bntain. If Mr. Wilford is not a lamb expert, he knows something about New Zealand weather. We have a lot of the latter to spare, even if our flocks aie decimated, and the powers- that-be purpose to decimate them still further * * * However, to return to our muttons There is no doubt that the descent of a really up-to-date, bied and born New Zealander, with strong prejudices .n favour of his native land, on Great Britain is a boon to the community. He tells us the Rhine is hardly a gem of the first water after having seen, the Wanganui river, and if he tells us this you may depend he has painted word pictures for intending tourists to these happy isles, to winch travellers are ever happy to return. Having jaunted through Ireland, on the native cars, he can fully appreciate the delight of a ride in a colonial "spider" on Lis own unrivalled Hutt-road. *• *■ * Having visited the cathedrals of Rome and Milan, he may gaze ecstatically on the domeless Town Hall and the architectuie of Macdonald Crescent, where the leaning Tower of Pisa is now eclipsed. The Lakes of Killarney p Pshaw' They never boil, and if London has its Eails Court and Crystal Palace, Wellington has its Skating Rink and the tram sheds. Mi. Wilford lias whirled through the 'tuppenny tube," but his sensations are incomplete unless he has whirled Newtownwards -n a "tuppenny tram " He has seen the tiaffic of London stopped by the uplifting of a policeman's hand in the Strand, but no policeman at all is lequired to stop the traffic on the Huttroad. * * *■ He has gazed on the Gardens a,t Kew. There still remains for him the new garden in front of the Newtown Library, and if he has hobnobbed with the political giants of the earth, he may find solace in his reunion with Mr. E. M. Smith. Mr. Wilford has ridden on the box-seat of the Earl of Onslow's coach, at the meeting of the London Four-in-hand Club, and he is still unconvinced that they do these things better in England. Wherever the genial M.H.R. went, he was able,

with all the wealth of his long expenenc<\ to drop invaluable lunte * * Pieferenhal trade ? If the earth was against Bnta/in, New Zealand was still on hand to help her out of any possible hole They had the Tow er Bridge and the Thames Embankment, but. they hadn't got a train service that crawled over the Rimutakas, showing how obstacles could be overcome by people who hated to go easily around them. They had no Poraeke- foreshore, and so couldn't straighten the Hutt line, and theie weie no Ministers there who nouhl tackle eight poitfohos, or Ms.P wl.o would woik for £300 a year. * * Mr Wilford perfoimed the devotional exercise of kissing the Blarney Stone. If the mountain wouldn't come to Mahomet, Mahomet would go to the mountain. It is to be sincerely hoped th?t the treatment is of benefit to bashful Ms.H R. fiom New Zealand Senouslv, however, it is a remarkable fact that should any prominent man from New Zealand sojourn for any time in England he is leallv a "lion" for the time being, and both gives and leceives advice that may benefit both, the Home Land and this wee spot of Empire. * * * It is almost reasonable, too, that young New Zealandeis, watching closely as they do the movements and receptions of our lepresentative men, become mipiessed with a sense of the importance of the country disproportionate to facts. The Empire is not hanging on the doings of New Zealand, and oftentimes a large newspaper laugh is heard when the said newspapers happeai to read that the population of this country w ould but people a decent subuib of the world's metropolis. If we feel hurt that people do not flock here instead of going to the Riviera for the winter, it is because New Zealand is more than two days' journey from London. Our immense distance from the Old Country adds interest to us and to our representative men.