IT IS TOWN TALK

Free Lance, Volume III, Issue 157, 4 July 1903, Page 26

IT IS TOWN TALK

-That the Australian Federal Ministry has five ex-State Premiers in it. —That a local volunteer calls his pet cat Lee-Metford, merely because he is not a Mauser. . -That a recent Wellington bride was remarkably well mated. They do say hubby's income is £1000 a year. '-That every tram-car in Belfast tea painted upon it the words- The Meboat rule Women and children first. -That an Ellesmere farmer says that all who advocate the formation of a Farm Labourers' Union should be boyC °-That Hawke's Bay grows wjetog a County Council has recently declared ragwort to be .^f^S! disease. Smallpox is probably a noxi ous weed. —That a New Plymouth man at a world possesses." —That a Southern undertaker was fined last week for the of a hearse Hs defence was that his mother-in-law was the occupant. —That a Thorndon child, who unwittingly took poison, tho other day, could not be maderick with strong emetics. The parents drove him to Kaiw arra, and then ' —That the action of the Broken Hill whisky drinkers, who refused to take wate/wrth their drinks «"ng water famine, is unequalled foi single ness of soul. —That a Southern farmer actuaJv remarked recently that fanners were setting a good time, "and our labourers fhould get a good time, too'" Chorus of farmers "Rats'" — Thot the cab'e man refused _ to state where those 40,000 rifles required bv the Bulgarian Government were to be made. You don't think Birmingham would dare help, do you Joe? —That matters of vital importance are to be discussed during the session. Whether Bellamy's shall be a prohibition institution is among them. Speeches on the subject are bound to be spirited." —That the coiffures of Wellington ladies who adorn the dress circles ot our theatres require much attention, especially if the ladies are w earmg anything choice in the way of diamond rings. —That, according to Mr. Firani, ex M.H.R., he is leaving Palmerston North because "he is not competent to run a paper in opposition to such a heaven-born genius as Mr. Pierce Freeth." That a country paper, commenting on the misdemeanour of a young man. says he was "dressed so respectably he might have been mistaken for a commercial traveller." The Beau Brummell of the bag' That the unfortunate allusion bv a mining company, per public print, that it was issuing 100,000 "snares," leads us to assume that the manager would like to supply the responsible comp. with a large "h." — That it is unusual for a prominent business man to inform the public, per medium of the newspaper, that he is an <7 imposter." As a matter of fact, the gentleman would say "importer" if the paper would let him. —That, at a Tauranga Maori Council meeting, the other day, the chairman at the conclusion of the sitting, supplied a "substantial repast." The Maoris would deliberate better if the feed happened before the sitting. — That it is evidently lawful to kill people sometimes in Queensland. According to an Australian paper "William Kettler was charged at the South Brisbane Police Court with attempting unlawfully to kill Emily Godwin." — That influential women aie going to approach the Government on the lack of servant girls question. Yet, the other day. at Marton, an advertisement asking for "a strong girl, able to milk," was answered by fifty such girls. That the youngest editor in Wellington belongs to the message department of New Zealand telegraphs. He edits " The Scorcher," which _is designed to meet the mental requirements of telegraph youth who desire something smart to brighten their lives.

.That ''Have you been vaccinated?" is the commonest greeting in Wellington just at present. — That the old age pension scheme is a boom in Australia. A man who went through £1200 last year draws his dole this. That the Legislature of the State of lowa, U.S.A., has enacted that every man calling for a drink at a saloon bar shall pay for it himself. — That a man was recently found in Col 1 ins-street, Melbourne, on his hands and knees, eating dirt from the road. He was not from Queensland. — That, in this- democratic community, social precedent is evidently a very real thing to the democrats. A propos of that new table, you know. — 'That, according to Pretoria correspondents, Boer ladies in that city are consistent football "barrackers" for the New Zealand team, which is "the" team thereaway. That a professor is proclaiming throughout the country that there is no cure for baldness. The hair specific people should pension him off before he ruins them. That a farm labourer recently sued his employer under the '"Workmen's Compensation for Accidents Act." He was loading the prize turnip, when it rolled and — 'hospital ' That, as a commentary on the boom that is long burst on the Thames, it may be stated that a seven-roomed house tv as advertised for sale in the mining centre for £75. — That the bell-topper and frock-coat season is now m full swing in the Empire City. In no other city could a "f rocker" and a common hard-hitter be T\orn without street comment. — That many of the itinerant barnstorming companies now in New Zealand would very much like to be in the position of having to pay fines for overcrowding theatres a la Musgrove. That possibly the lady who took a gorgeous new opera cloak from the Opei a House last vcek and left her own well-worn one, will be able to get her own in exchange if she desnes to. —That the membeis of a Taranaki football team have been prohibited fiom smoking cigarettes during play. That team must have done some interesting "scrum" work in the past. — That Mi. Price, the head of the Thames fiim now building Government railway engines, took a hundred dozen bottles of Te Aroha waters for consumption in England. Such is faith. — That the repoiter who made a politician say that the colonies "could stand a loan " when he merely meant that they could stand alone, had well gauged a fixed colonial characteristic. — That the oncoming of that horseflightening device, the traction engine, is the signal for horsemen to dismount, tie handkerchiefs over the eyes of ti^ir horses, and hang on to their ears to prevent bolting. — That the Richaidson libel case is not done with yet. It comes on at the Appeal Court next month. Possibly, the defendant won't have such a monopoly of thei show r as he enjoyed on the last occasion. — That a chirpy little country paper threatens to open a column to be filled weekly with Scottish wit and humour. If the paper is not published on time next week, you will know 7 the reason. A w hole column ! — -That the passion for economy exercised by most builders m fitting all homes with cheap locks of one pattern is probably the reason for the present extraordinary number of petty burglaries within the colony — That it is sad to conclude that the members of the Hinemoa Band at Home will sooner or later have to give up worship foi work. It is doubtful if the New Zealand bandsmen's caps fit them iust at pi esc nt. — That boys have a quaint way of returning borrowed property. On Tuesday morning, a New town youth chased Father Ainsworth, who was on the tram, with a gimlet, which he probably expected the genial priest to carry round with him. — That a Borough Council on the West Coast recently received a circular from the Health Department. Seeing by the heading that it had to do with small-pox, the chairman dismissed the subject with, "Oh, chuck it out." It was accordingly "chucked out" without reading.