AFTERNOON TEA GOSSIP

Free Lance, Volume III, Issue 155, 20 June 1903, Page 6

AFTERNOON TEA GOSSIP

By Little Miss Muffitt.

Santos Dumont, the serial genius, ,s a capable advertiser. Lately, in Pans he gave an *erial dinner, at which the table and chairs were suspended to the ceiling b- wires the waiters walked on stdt^and the plates and dishes were raised oil lifts. The guests sot into their seats by means of .^ladders. There is some/thing particularly balmy about this airy fashion. » New Zealand is a nation of poets Here is a sample from the pen of a gentleman who will go down to hastorv as the Shakespeare of the colony Well Dick, he need not care a iot about the cookies' mag, His Dile is made, he'll soon migrate, he's rolling up his swag. There are wealthy mines in Boer Land, on them he's got his eye, So it matters not to him a jot, it all the cockiefe die. I wonder whom he means? ♦ * * How extremely grateful Continental and English millionaires tojhe K£ SH^-SSV d= out of the. country as soon as their hades Sere m danger only to hang . oa tto horizon, like aasvo^els, ready to pounce on the carcase when the fl^; clo J™ broke From what one is bound to believe of tha average millionaire, he should be included arnon- tsetse fly, redwater. and other African scourges, Sd put down by Act of Parliament. Mr. David Syme, ex-compositor, pre-sent-day politician and proprietor ot Ihe Melbourne "Age," hap. been writing a book about "The Soul » . One hardly recognises the dour politician in this beautiful work, nor is one able to imagine the semi-millionaire in its beautiful, unselfish meandenngs. Artistic souls, who dare to lacerate the sensibilities of people with a scathing pen or a burning pencil are usually themselves intensely sensitive. Their "tears are on the surface, ready to burst forth at any moment. JJor instance, Alf. Vincent, the "Bulletin artist recently had an appreciative smoke concert given to him. Replying to the toast of his health the artistic \lf said nothing He was too brokennp Draw ing a lightning sketch ot himself (he is not good on portraits, however), he wrote beneath \\ he ™, ain't no words can express my feelins * * * I am afraid that the Royal Navy as well as the Army, has its share of snobs. On Thursday last, a Jack Tar might have been observed tacking down one of the main streets. He hadn t got his spectacles on., nor had he a marine glass or microscope. He passed an ordinary-looking man, in civilian attire. The ordinary-looking man turned, and called, "Here'" Jack halted. The ordinary-looking man took hold of him bv the collar of the jumper. "Don't you know that you are expected to salute an officer when you see one p " he asked. » ♦ » What dire punishment Jack would have to undergo for failing to salute I don't know but I do know that there is no regulation compelling a soldier or sailor to salute a person in plain clothes, who may, or may not. be an officer. There is something in the German regulations after all. It compels officers to wear the uniform of their calling, so that, at all times, they may revel in the salutes that English naval officers apparently love as much as they. # Upon my w ord it. is horribly humiliating at times to be a great military man. One Wellington gentleman of this class only last Tuesday was walking along a suburban road, in full fig, evidently en route to an important meeting of the staff A little girl, who I happen to know has iust come from Sydney, rushed through a o-arden gate, and chased the officer "Please, Mr. Postman Mamma says ain't there no letters for her to-day?" Unfortunate! v. I hadn't my camera with me. A "snap" of the gallant one's expression would be worth a place herein

The baked-potato mail ib much in evidence in Southern towns this cold w eather. Only last week a Wellington motorist, who is doing the South, was approached bv a, frozen-lookme mortal, who demanded "two pennorth o' baked taters." He thought the car was a new-fangled " spud" bakery. « • * John Alexander Dowie, the vener-able-looking gentleman, who runs Zion City" on a strictly business basis, must have crossed his new converts from Australia. These were forty-five wealthy farmers, who sold all they had to give to the poor — Dowie. Dowie dumos his portmanteau on Australian shores within a month * * • Kme Dick's admirers have given him. some new tatles since he sprang the New Zealand frozen meat emporiums in London cm an unsuspecting world. A Sydney paper says Mr. Seddon, although he does confine his attentions mainly to New Zealand, is the Barnum of Australasia,. He is from boots to hat a business man. * * * Those dear little boys, who were lound here a whale back singing with the Westminster Abbey Glee Club, are good advertisements fc-r Nen Zealand. In a recent interview, published in Australia, they were asked what they thouht of New Zealand. The. spokenboy remarked in a finely-modulated contralto that it was the ''finest country in the world." I wonder if they are coming back ? * * * One of those new Js.P. up the country turned up for his first bout of duty last week. First item on the charge-sheet was a summons to himself to show cause why he. did allow his chimney to oatch fire in contravention of the bye-law. He retired to the criminals' box while his fellow Js.P. fined him 10s and costs. Next day, he laid an information against both the other Js P.. for failing to register a dog each. Revenge is sweet. * • • I note an amusing instance of the parading of all the 1 "pomp and circumstance" of a Court for an infinitesimal result, which occurred on Saturday, at the Avon licensing meeting. There were present on the occasion the Stipendiary Magistrate and his clerk, a member of the legal profession, two reporters, the sub-inspector, two constables, and two licensees. The business did not occupy more than one minute. 7T » * Up till last week, I had believed that Mr. Buckstone, of Rnapahawai, was the only gentleman in New Zealand w ho possessed a Rubens picture. This 's evidently not so. for, in the Wairarapa, last Thursday, an actioneer said "I now offer you a Rubens , perhaps the finest paintmo- that ever came from that master's hand'" but there was no bid. The knight of the hammer passed the Rubens and. taking up another picture said, "Very well, gentlemen I now offer you a Rembrandt, by the same artist '" * • • It is no doubt an excellent idea to explode condemned gelignite "under the supervision, of an expert," but there isn't any particularly good reason why the officials in charge should explode it on a beach in close proximity to a well-populated suburb. The terrific explosion of gelignitdon Evans Bay beach, on Wednesday last, shook the neighbourhood. No warning was given, and nobody troubled to enquire w hether there were any sick people about. As a matter of fact there were, and I am told, although I discredit it that one woman is at the point of death in consequence. These experts might, one would think take a defence cutter, and go out to seia. It is, however, illegal to explode gelignite in the sea, because it kills fish. It is evidently not illegal to explode it ashoie, although it may scare sick people to death. • * * All the world's combined virtues are not imprisoned in British skins." A propos, I observed, on a recent morning, a poor, and by no means smartlooking alien, haw ker, w heeling a dilapidated hand-cart containing fruit. He was meandering through the execrable mud of one of our main streets His eye was attracted by something in the jnud, invisible to me. He approached it carefully, lifted it as a thief might lift a jewel, looking fearfully around for a possible policeman. He brought his "find" to the cart, putting it tenderly down into a corner. Guttersnipe forced to thus scavenge for food 9 I followed him. He wheeled his cart, to the band enclosure, close to the Fne Brigade station. He took his treasure out, smoothed it, and spoke some unintelligible words. He caiefully brushed the mud from the little spariow's feathers and, with infinite gentleness released it in the, bushes. I felt that that alien quite out-Carnegied Andrew in that act.