IT IS TOWN TALK

Free Lance, Volume III, Issue 155, 20 June 1903, Page 26

IT IS TOWN TALK

—That woman may be the weakei vessel, but as a rule, it is, man that gets broken —That the game was lost b\ the Melbourne stukers because they liad an incompetent Scorer and a w eak Hart. —That the Jewish millionaires could raise an international army big enough to deliver then brethren from the mission bondage. —That t.he periodical cycle of fires is now raging in Wellington a,nd the gallant Fne Brigade is getting a good deal of broken rest. That a magistrate recently remarked that he saw ' scoundrel" w ritten on the face of a convicted peison Was this a pei sonal reflection 3 —That a full-diess uniform for i Butish Cabinet Minister costs about £103. The Hon. Tarn Duncan s State gorgeousness costs slightly less. —That Rotorua has recently instituted a telephone service, but the police station is not connected. The police do not w ant their rest disturbed evidently —That the clergyman who said last Sunday he was convinced the world was 2iowinz better, because his congregation was increasing, is not a gaol chaplain —That that part of the Miramarroad under the control of the Wellington City Council will shortly be able to hold its own with the Hutt-road for boggmess —That Mr. Brabant S.M.. has grown a full inch since the 'Star" styled him in its police news the other day, " His Lordship " Just a trifle premature vet, though. That Ankylostomiasis is the name of that curious' dirt-eating disease prevalent in Queensland We expect patients have to pay for the trouble the doctors took in inventing this word —That two New Zealand papers published a hundred miles apart, recently came out at the same hour with identical leading articles. This is the latest phase of "hypnotic suggestion. That a young artist who is expected to make his mark in Adelaide is Harold S Power, hailing fiom New Zealand He commenced his regulai studies at the early age of twelve years. —That the allegation that policemen go mto hotels, and staie at. people who may be imbibing, suggests that the police are merely enjoying the sierht of a disappearing pint they are prohibited from "running in." -That a, speaker recently said that as the farmers were the backbone of the country, they should have preference of sea.ts in the Cabinet Already there is a specimen of this kind of backbone in the Cabinet. — -That the little axe with which George Washington chopped the cherry tree down has been discovered in Fredericksburg, Va., U.S A A manufactory with an output of 25,000 of the little axes per week is already spoken of. — That a Masterton man was &een the other day pegging out the week's w ashing. This evolution of female suffrage w orked the clothes-line like a professional, and pegged with the rapidity of an operator sending a telegram — That, according to the Sydney "Sund? - Times," "Mr. Seddon is the soit of man to see his meat trade scheme through even if lie has to fi^ht a meat trust and is a very good example to the w eak-kneed politicians of our Continent." — That the police m Napier are convinced that it is more difficult to pro\e breaches of the licensing laws m that town than anywhere else in New Zealand Perhaps, unlike Empiie City police the Napier constabulary do other work as w ell — That a recipe for making babies fat w a,s being acted upon bv an impenitent, nursegirl the other day w hen she was providentially stopped She read this in a girls' chatterer — "How to make babies fa.t — Drop them thiougrh a two-storer window and they will come down plump" — That theie is a breezy rivalry between the "Post" and the "Times" as to which paper was first in the field w ith half-tone reproduction's pnntod with a stereotyping plant It is evident it is no new thing with the "Times " if one may judge from the beauty of the pictures of their late Majesties of Servia

— That Krugeu's house m Piotona was recently sold for £4000 It would be very dear in Nefl Zealand at £7"i(). — That the eailiest tiu.st" monaich on recoid is Noah He eomeied all the live stock in the world ait one time -That a Dunedin mam was lecentlv anested foi throwing tobacco to convicts "We feai the matter will end in smoke — That the automobile ' hump" is the latest physical mfirmit\ that threatens the mad motorist. Welhngtonians aie warned — That tomato plants have recently been grafted on potato plants caving a crop of tomatoes abo\ c ground and of potatoes below. — That the Dunedm Licensing Committee have recently refused Licenses for good brick hotels, and granted them for bad wooden ones. — That ''probably your Honor knows the hotel better than I do" wasn't exactly the best, way foi a Southern inebriate to prove his innocence. — That a recent burglar, finding nothing w orth taking in a Southern subuiban home, had his revenge. He set the alarm clock for 3 a.m. — -That Northern burglars recently raided an undertaker's shop. When the night watchman suddenly arose out of a coffin they left, rather hurriedly. — That motorists may be glad to hear that a erood-sized rag, dipped m petrol, the fumes of which are inhaled, w ill produce a perfectH lovely ''drunk." — -That the New Zealand Band is advertised extensively at Home as "The Famous Band' An Enormous Attraction' 1 " People here who took shares will chuckle. — That one of the ghosts that have been alarmmer the South was discovered to have adopted this guise in order to get aiw with white ' w ashing" hung out in backyards to dry — That the latest fashion among American millionaire '"Johnnies" is to wear several bejewelled hat pins. Also, the lace neck ruffle is spoken of. They will be wearing '"improvers" yet — That an Auckland furnishing firm's assistant recently unrolled a large piece of linoleum. He found a burglar boy inside. The youngster had got tired and craw led in. and w ent to sleep - That, the purity of a brewer's product having been questioned m a Southern Licensing Court, a witness affirmed that even the land on which the hops were grown w as sterilised ' — That trades unionists of New South Wales intend publishing a daily new spaiper before the end of the year. It will have a capital of £130,000, and no unionist is to be permitted to hold more than one share. — That it is to be hoped, for the safety of the public, that no one will lean against the brick walls that are everyw here being put up There are points of resemblance between them and the fabled "house of cards." — That not many of the lady school tea'ohers sent from N6w Zealand to Africa are school teachers now. The majority have maoried money. Rumour has it that one young lady from Auckland way is 1 to marry a Boer ex-general. — That Rangiuia, the Maori, who went Home with the New Zealand Band", is acknow ledged by the English Press to be "a splendid tenor vocalist " And yet poor New Zealand did not know what a priceless pearl it had withm its own gates. —That Mr. W. W. Tanner, of Christchurch says of sexual maniacs "I would, if it were legal," put thirty or forty of these ciiminals on an old hulk and sank it seven miles outside Lyttelton Heads." Why only thirty or forty ? — That a Waakato paper seems a trifle rocky" on the subject of lelaitionshiD It says that "A boy only twelve 1 years of age was befoie the Chines Court, Victoria the other week charged with threatening the wife of his mother." — That a farmer w ntes to his local paper complaining bitterly that he took some stray cattle to the pound, and found the pound-keeper was not theie It wasi 1 o'clock in the morning, with a howling southeilv gale blowing Will that pound-keeper get dismissed s — That twenty-four papers in New Zealand are saying "the public are indebted to a firm of Dunedin undertakers for information about the> value of foimaJme as a> disinfectant " Wonder if the Health Department ha^s ever heard of this wonderful stuff, onh disco\eaed last week by an undertake] ° — That in declining to take up a pupil teachership under the Wanganui Education Board a lad wrote that "the miseiable pay which would be my onl^ rewaid for my labour rendeis your offer admittable to no other consideration than that of condign rejection " The Board don't seem to realise what they have lost