It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume III, Issue 140, 7 March 1903, Page 26

It is Town Talk

—That a party, charged at the court with bigamy "loved not wisely but two well." —That 'whom woman loveth she chaseth," says a local man of bargains, who is to be married shoitlv. -That it requnes nerve, to build new hotels in New Zealand lust now lne breweis have the requisite nerve, too. -That a vagrant down South informed the magistrate that he earned his living by sin«ng songs while standing on his head. —That Sandow the strong is said to have offered half-a-milhon for a celeKed hotel m New York but the price is too we? I . —That the record inebriates in New Zealand are both women Une is Wexgoin* her 124 th sentence and another her 157 th. -That a man may sell his children s comfort for beer, but he wou d think himself dishonoured if he failed to share it with a friend. —That the man who sent blasphemous circular to clergymen has been^ fined. He was "getting back on em, he said, for sending him tracts. — That tnanv eyes would be lifted in surprise if a li«*t of the prominent men Safe now in the Waitati Inebriates Home were published. —That the latest weapon with which a would-be suicide endeavoured to _ inflict fatal in juries was a buckle tom from the back of his waistcoat. —That milk is so rich m the Marlborough district that a full bucket iray be «tood on the milk pans aftei the cream his risen. So says a correspondent —That a maiden lady says that it single life is bad it stands to reason that double life is twice as bad. -But Sen ladies rarely understand mathematics. —That Nicholas Krukoff, New Zealand's Russian adviser who likes people to work for three-halfpence a day has gone home New Zealand breathes again. —That the economy or Wellingtonians is perfectly marvellous Just notice the number of mature-looking gals who travel in the trams with a school ticket —That while fruits are dear in all the centres, reports from the countiv say that groweis are unable to give then craps away .and that they are consequently rotting. —That a suggestion is made by a microbamac that telephone transmitters and leceivers should be periodically dosed with disinfectants. Another job for the Health Department. —That cmite a number of Ms.H.R. say they cannot go away in that treetrip to the Islands. Apparently, the only way out of the difficulty is to invite the members' wives too. —That a man. who was drowned by falling off a steamer somew here on this coast is said to be drawing schooners— of beer— in San Francisco. Far from the maddine crowd of creditors. —That Wives and daughters all remind us We must make our little Rile And, departing leave behind us Cash for them to live in style —That an Irish railway man, on a Southern line, is in tiouble He refused to show a red flae to a traan on a dangerous grade He. thought it was disloyal while he had a green one in his hand ' — That a queer yarn is beins told in tli' South about a prominent athlete beang tarred and feathered, and receiving an unsigned letter of abiect apology next day. They had dealt with the wrong man 1 —That marriage is a lottery. Lotrteries are prohibited under the Gaming and Lotteries Act. Mainage is, therefoie logically illegal. But, perhaps, the Colonial Secretary may be persuaded to add ' By permission " — That gas may escape and gas may burst, And vanish in noise and flame. But the meter's hand in its ciuiet w av Goes travelling onward day by day And gete there just the same. —That Southern critics of Melba are complaining that the English language is not copious enough for present purposes. The constructors had not made any provision for a Melba advent There are 375 letters in the Chinese alphabet, and each has a dozen inflections.

—That you can easily fill the publiceyes if you have the dust Look at the Camegies and Rockctelleis. That the thnsty souls of New town have gained a "moial" victory. At least, e\eiyoiic >^s the result of the long-drawn-out case was a "moral --That a man ne\ or leahses how little he knoiws about his own business until he staits to fill in his income tax fOl m . - That an elegant simile was overheard on the w harf cm Tuesday 'Him ' Why he'd drink beer through a nieman's handkerchief" — That timber is down. A Manaia rata tree fell during a storm, and killed sixteen cattle. This is a record for one tree fon* the colony — That Melba did not have a special lailway car made for hei , after all. She had to be content with the "Yoik" ro\al car, and only two policemen — -That, when we aie providing for the tending of soldiers' graves m South Africa, it would be just as well to see to some nearer home at the same time — That there i& no authentic new s to hand as to whether the request of New Zealand to have the latest little York named "Richard John" has been acceded to. — That a "Wellington gu 1 leai nt sw mimin k °r in one lesson lecently. The other fellow who taught her pieviouslv leckons he taught her in ten But then he is handsome ' — That incendiarism is apparently on the increase in Auckland. Does this account for the well-known fact that the building trade is very busk m the Queen City ? — That the City Council is determined to cope with the ever-increasing tiam traffic. It has recently changed the colour of its passes from red to blue. Advance Poneke l — That certain large investors in* bank shares are on pins and needles to know the purpose "of Mr. Seddon's threatened or promised banking legislation fcr next session. — That the medical inspection of every passenger steamer that arnves m the colony costs £100, to say nothing of the loss of time and vexation. Is the game w orth the candle ? — That a fruit hawker who had eaten too many bananas, was admitted to the Sydney Hospital the other day, in an unconscious state. Bananas are evidently 'down" over theie. — That there is a lady living in Southland who is 107 vepis old. The nearby -iwr says "Her naienfrs can point to her w ltli pnde> as a sample of then success in l earing children " — That an action foi libel is pending down South. A newspaper remarked that it had seen a gentleman go into an hotel — and come out sober The gentleman says it is a libel. — That, in an Auckland fire the other day a parson slid down a water-pine, and escaped A dear old soul m his congregation remaiks that she did not know Mr Hymn was so thin. — That the following is. the champion '■wanted" of the week "Two lady fiends would like to take in a clergyman as boarder " Did the "comp " drop that ' r," or wais it the printer's devil p — That a peculiar action is likely to be taken up Noith. A man, who contracted an illness through licking quantities of poor-ouality gummed postage; stamps, threatens to sue the Government. — That Lady Robinson's Beach, on the shores of Botany Bay, has been rechnsitened Brighton-le-Saiids. But then, you see- a commission sat and was paid heavily for suggesting the amendment — That the. scarcity of houses is so gieat in Auckland that it is impossible to cart a load' of timber through the streets without a crowd of would-be tenants following, to asceitam if the pioposed house is let. — That constables now cairy microscopes as well as binoculars Any policeman- is a.ble to identify a burglai by the invisible finger prints on a safe, foi instance. Sin will be blotted out as bv a thick cloud vet. — That Ms.H R., looking for distinction and subiects for bills, might note that still another case of tinned -piovision poisomncr has occurred Man and four children up North nairowly escaped death through tinned fish. — That the scribbleis of New Zealand are using lots of wet towels and headaclie powders in order to win the Piemier's prize of £3 3s for a short story on the Otago West Coast, and Thames goldfields. Mr. Seddon a.s the munificent patron of literature is a new line. — That the final appeal made to Admiral Fanshawe on his arrival at Auckland in the interests of that Northern white elephant, Admiralty House, proved abortive Fanshawe fiiinly, but politely, declined to reside in it The idea now is to lease it as aboaidmghouse.

— That the Boer agricultural delegates are surprised that so loyal a colony as this should call itself by the Dutch name New Zealand. Certainly, '"Maonland" is much more musical. — -That the oolice at the New Zealand port 9 have> been on. the look-out for a youth of 20 and a damsel of ±7 who eloped from a New South Wales town the other day, and are supposed to have come this way. But there is no word of their having caught the youngsters yet