It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume III, Issue 138, 21 February 1903, Page 26

It is Town Talk

—That Sir Joseph Ward's trip to- Australia will combine business, with pleasuie. — That it is a pity that coats w lthout buttons are not more fashionable m Wellington. Coats of paint w ould not hurt. That Dr. Torrey. the evangelist, who speaks the great Murikan language, has reached London, and opened a mission there. — That because the Czar of Russia now has four little daughters, it is not the correct thins; to call them dear little Czar dines. — That a certain gentlema.il. whose interest in things theatrical is considerable, was badly smitten by a lady of the San Toy Company. —That the latest plea for drunkenness is, "Oh, he's an old age pensioner. Don't convict or you'll deprive him of his bread, and butter." —That the sale of £7000 worth of torpedoes for £100 is a fair example of how public money is wasted when the mihtaiy fever is epidemic. —That John Bull is heartily glad his three-legged race, w ith Hans Sauerkraut as partner, has come to an end. They do not run well together. — That the public up North are making free use of the name of a wellknown and highly-esteemed member of the House. Scandal again. — -That Auckland volunteers are deeply interested in a rumour that the Premier's eldest son, Captain Seddon, is to succeed Major Reid as adjuutant. — That one of the bands w Inch competed at Masterton the other day ascribes its defeat to the trombone nlayer for sneezing at the wrong moment. — That Willie Percy, of operatic fame has London aspirations, and that, as he is a young man of Peroy-verance he is pretty sure to get there or thereabouts. — That recent publication of the unclaimed moneys held by banks discloses the fact that one absent-minded citizen has had threepence to his credit for thirty years. It is to be hoped he won't spend it recklessly. — That a Wellington couple, who were married the other day, are considered to be uncommonly well matched. The groom is a vegetarian, and the lady was a grass-widow. — That the business people outside Wellington don't catch on to the Government discount stamps system. Wellington took five-sixths of the December issue, and Thames the bulk of the remainder. — That a Southern scribbler, noticing Lady Ranfurly's presence at a Dunedin theatre, and the dress she wore, rudely says he did not feel up to criticising Her Ladyship's evening bodice — there was so little of it. — That a certain boardinghousekeeper would like to know the present address of a prayerfully-inclined and smooth-tongued young man, who absentmindedly took the wrong purse away with him a few days since. —That it is not true that Fred. Townsend w ants to establish solicitors' offices in his part of the city. Did he not piously exclaim in the Compensation Court the other day "Thank God, we are far away from them ?" — That Papa Hill, in the front row- of the dress 1 circle, was a deeply interested listener to "Taou" on Monday night. Naturally. for he has spared no trouble or expense to afford the best training for the exceptional musical gifts of his sons. — That they w ent aw ay by the same steamer, without any fuss or handshaking, at the wharf. He was interested in mmmc and had induced some confiding friends to invest several hundred pounds. She was a matron, and left hubby behind to mind the house. — That there was a mixed gathenne; of Government and Opposition members and Left Wingers at the comphmentarv social given at Chnstchurch last week to Mr. Geo. Withy, who capsized Mr. G W. Russell out of the Riccarton seat. Tommy Taylor, M H.R who was there, called it "a political haggis " — That Railway Manager Ronayne's performance at the sw imming sports on Saturday was greatly enioved bv the youngsters. When he fell into the water, with all his clothes on, they reckoned ho had been engaged as "funny man" for the afternoon, and when he staved in the water, and sr>l ashed about as if he liked it, they felt quite sure he was paid to do it.

—That Picipont Morgan is still buying the woild in shccs. — That those w ho- live in glass houses should have more sense. — That the people who give tone to society often give nothing else. — That it takes se-ven days to make one week. How many to make one strong ? — That many a bachelor has made a number of women happy by not manymg them. — That, the proper height for a lady to raise her skirt on a. muddy day is a little over two feet. —That Customs Minister C. H. Mills pand great attention to Percy's political philosophy at the Opera House on Monday night. — -That "trust no glowing cables" is the advice of a New Zealander who is alleged to be looking into things on the golden Rand. — That the ex-Minister of Justice, Thomas Thompson, is being tipped for inclusion in the next call to the Legislative Council. — That King Edward's chief oook draws a sala>ry of £2000 a year, just the same as a lieutenant-general or an admiral of the fleet. — That the rumour that the plate of a dog collar was found in a sausage of local construction, turns out to be a figment of the imagination. — That Ord Hume has arrived at the conclusion that it i<s impossible for a bandsman to keep his mouth shut — unless he plays the big drum or triangle. — That, as Venezuela does not want Carnegie's little loan-offer of 360,000 dollars, without security, perhaps King Dick might be coaxed into accepting it. —That, according to Mr. A. W. Hard^ey of Ashburton, every second place in Prohibition Kawhia is a slyerog shop. This is Hardley truth, we fancy. — That the punter has been at it again. A Wairarapa paper makes the Premier say his conduct towards the native racei was not to deceive, but to "do them." — That a, Dunedin policeman, questioned as to the best means of dispers*mg a crowd in the Scotch city, replied that the most effective w ay was to take the hat round. —That both "the trade" and the lemonade party are feeling the strain of waiting for the Court's decision on the Newtown no-license poll. Bung is inclined now to back his chances. — That fresh air tablets are the latest invention,. Just the thing to purify vitiated air. You drop one into some water and it immediately dissolves and gives forth pure oxygen. —That Mr. E. M. Smith, M.H.R., is turning his attention to Taranaki tiles and Midhurst mud. In the "concrete" he purposes adding many branches to the already famous ironworks. — That some of the Australian papers, in notifying the arrival of Mr. John Holmes, by the Omrah, dignify him with the appellation of "Royal Commissioner for New Zealand." Now, who could have told them? — That a well-known Wellington business man wired to Melba's manager last week offering €800 for her local concert. Another prominent citizen w ent one better and offered £1000. Both offers were declined with thanks. — That a Southern, boy borrowed a pin to "pick his tooth with." It may haive had some connection with 150 punctures found in a collection of churchgoers' bike& standing gasping for breath at the conclusion of divine worship. — That the ferry companies are awfully sorry that the volunteer encampments are over. So are many sipoony couples, who relished the moonlight excursions. Whispered that they led to quite a crco of engagements, which will be announced in due course. — That the champion lazy man has just oome to light in Wellington. Seems that when his wife asks him to water the flower-bed, he throws a bucket of water on his New foundland doer and then makes, him stand in the middle of the flower-bed and shake, himself." — That it appear?, from the New tow n licensing case, that whisky is consolaition for sorrow over the death of a friend. One of the witnesses promised an old lady who was ill over the death of a friend that he would oret her some whisky. Wonder if Sairev Gamp is living yet ?