Afternoon Tea Gossip

Free Lance, Volume III, Issue 122, 1 November 1902, Page 6

Afternoon Tea Gossip

By Little Miss Muffitt.

I see that one man is to the fore ith a theory to account for the earthquakes which the cable keeps on telling us are happening so frequently in Adelaide. The theory is that it is new woman in those parts shaking things up. * * * Abolition of barmaids ? Hardly ' One of Sydney's best hotels wherein, are ten of the sweetest smilers who ever drew beer and custom, is a "free house." The -Rev. Mr. Blank, who holds a very high position in the Anglican Church, owns it. * * * Auckland post-office is m Shortlanistreet, and strangers find it hard to discover. Recently, a Sydney man did find it, and duly got into the Eresenoe of the P.M. "I just called," c said, "to say that I've been poking around the back streets, and I ha.ye found a place that is even more inconvenient than this for a post-office." I hope the paddy prirl who sends me this tale tells 1 the truth. A Women's Political and Educational Association was instituted in Adelaide a week or so ago. An Adelaide Hrl writes me that one of the main objects of the association is to beard the bearded politician in his den, and get him to promise to be good and conduct the business of the oountrv in a ladylike way. Women do> not over-estimate much the influence they possess, do they? * • * A friend of mine, who recently moved into a new house, at Kilbirnie, unfenced and otherwise unfinished-looking, received a shock the first morning: after his arrival He arose to make preparations for the daily toil and, p^omi into the kitchen found the body of a man wrapped in a blanket He made an exclamation and the "body" woke. "Oh

I thought this was an empty house, mister," he said, as he collected his traps, and commenced to roll his "swag." Having rolled it, he went on his long, long search aftei work in the farming and pastoral district of Island Bayl It is astonishing how many men theie are in Wellington with a leg missing, and one often wonders if they buy boots by the pair or in "singles." One gentleman went to a well-known clothes emporium last week, and asked if they kept size o trousers for one-legged men. ' Yes." said the smart counter-hand, dashing into the rear of the piemises, and cutting off the leg of apaih that had been old stock for years He trimmed them hastily, and ran the machine round them. "Yes. they're all rieht " saad the man, "but lust get me a pair uith the right leg off, please." 'Koly" Adelaide had its nerves badly shaken over the earthquakes. A New Zealander, who is driving a nib for the 'Register," writes me that everybody is for ever rushing about saving that they felt shocks and things. People crack fire-alarms in ay. anton manner and the Fire Brigade turns out several times a day. Also rumours of divorce fill the air, for which there is not the least foundation. It only wants a modern Solomon Eagle to persuade the nerveshaken Adelaideansthatit is up to them to prepare for eternity. Mr Tom Mann cannot convince all the people of Australia that he is a white-souled democrat. At a meeting in Melbourne, a shock-headed person arose, and said, "Call yerself a friend of the workin' man Why did you water the beer, Tom ?" Mr. Mann explained long aeo that he didn't water the beer, but that a manager did it for him. Still, he cannot make people believe it. As a prohibitionist friend says, "It's an awful sin to dilute poison isn't it?" * * * Everywhere candidates for Parha*ment are regarding the Bible-in-schools question cannily. I have not yet noticed that many candidates outside Wellington are in favour of it. All want a referendum on the question. Probably, the ne<ir future will have half-a-dozen local option "lines" on the voting paper. If the Bible-in-schools line happens your way, vote against it. This country has controversy enouerh without engendering religions disputes Don't you see a glorious crop of squabbles looming ahead if the Bible is made a school-book ?

Surprising to hear that Mrs. Sandow, the strong man's wife, was, according to her own confession, a mere "scrag" beiore she took to physical culture. It is said that she quite outclasses all Australian women she meets by the perfection of her form. Flat-chested, senemic, wasp-waisted women, with a hacking cough, and a red nose, should go in for Sandow, apparently. A Sydney friend writes me that she attended the "Fire Sale" of Messrs. Hose and Heel (this name will do), the other clay. While there, she was astonished to find the Sydney women buying silk stockings by the score at 6d a pair. She went to the counter, and questioned a purchaser. "Are they not perfectly lovely?" she said. "There is absolutely nothing wrong w ith them except that the feet are burned off." People over "t'other side" are quite convinced that only Maori "royalty" have any right to wear the huia feather. In a four-inch worship of "Princess te Rangi Pai," an Australian paper talks of her as one of the very few persons now alive who dare wear the white-tip-ped badge. Maori "royalty," at this rate, is mainly composed of pakeha bookmakers, for I notice that most of the "pencillers" have a penchant for the pied feather. * » • Madame Melba's jewels are wearing down the Australian police with anxiety. She had them all on at theMavor of Melbourne's reception, and the "A?e" estimates their value at £200,000, while the "Argus' " valuation is £100,000. At any rate while the diva was sojourning at Toorak, her house was protected for twelve hours each night by four policemen, working in two six-hour shifts. Melba's largesse has been in keeping with her reputed wealth. She found time to visit several of the hos Initals and she generally left a cheoue for £100 or £200 behind her as a erift to the funds of the institution. * ♦ ♦ I wonder why those Boer generals are worrying away on the Continent, while Milner and the other administrators in the new colonies are doing all the work ? Seems to me the gentle burghers like work now as little as they ever did. There is an immanse sum voted for rebuilding and re-stocking farms, a system of loans instituted, and all the rest of it. Why don't they go back and quit begging and commence, to work? But then, of course, if Mr. Seddon goes thither in May, they will have to turn over a new leaf.

It is startling bo hear that one person in. five has some disease he or she may communicate by kissing. So say a republican committee in America. As a consequence, New Jersey has abolished the sdly old custom of kissing a Bible in court. In good time the people of New Zealand will see the error of their biblical oscillations, and absolutely refuse to continue the absolutely senseless and insanitary custom. * * * Of interest to prohibitionists is the spectacle to be provided at the Wairarapa Show this year. I refer to the brewing of beer by bees. The liquor is obtained by placing honey and sugar at the bottom of a glass partly filled with water. Eops are placed on the surface of the liquid, and then the bees are put within the vessel, and immediately commence operations. They dive to the sugar and honey and then back again to the hops, probably to get a breath of fresh air. This procedure goes on until the jar holds a pint equal to- the best of" "Staples'." • • ♦ Major-General Babington, who angles when he is not hard at work reorganising the forces, fell mto the river at Waikanae the other day, while endeavouring; to land a trout. Talking about soldiers and water, reminds me of some New Zealanders who rejoiced with a great joy at Paardeberg, after Gronje's capture. The Modder flows by that celebrated shambles. It is well called the Mud Biver, but it isi good enough for a swim. One soldier, luxuriating in his first bath for a month, stood in the stream, and drank a long, deep draught. Then, he joyfully kicked out, and dashed into the stream, like a schoolboy. That kick stirred up two dead Kaffirs and a bullock, and afterwards that particular spot was tabooed for drinking purposes.