Afternoon Tea Gossip

Free Lance, Volume III, Issue 120, 18 October 1902, Page 6

Afternoon Tea Gossip

By Little Miss Muffitt.

The Auckland "Herald" recently remarked that the Catholic people in that city were going to hold a "cattle" bazaar at Christmas. People aie not taking the announcement seriously, and chuckle that the only exhibit on hand at present is a "Herald" "bull." * • * In compiling some hotel statistics lecently, Melbourne found that 6000 of ita citizens lived on hotel "counter luncheons." In the marvellous city one can get lunch at a restaurant for 3d, but the hotels go one better, and throw in a "long beer" for the same pnco Brewers' philanthropy or what? * * * Judge Hamilton, of the Victonan County Court, declares that for a State to "lure men into its employment" and then reduce their salaries is a practice that "the English Parliament and all English statesmen would scorn to adopt." The judge shows that he is, to say the least of it, a little inexperienced. The number of those in every British colony and State who live on a Minister's door-mat for even years in the hope of securing a Government billet is legion. No "alluring" is ever necessary- * * * I wonder if it is really true that Mr Harry Hurrell, who was among the pro-dockers at an Hotel Cecil banouet the other night said what an anti-dock friend of mine tells me. The friend said that, in speaking of Mr John Duthie (who I hear, is an Opposition candidate for the "Wellington seat), Harry observed — " Well, lots of people in Wellington will tell yon that Mr. Duthie is a hard-headed Scotsman. All I can say is, all the years I have known him I've never found him hard-headed." Now. is Harry paying compliments, or what does he mean?

Mr. Beothain, the Ohristchurch magistrate, seems to hold such strong views against the totalisator that he oaniiot find expletives vigorous enough to express his feelings. In Court last week he spoke of it as ' this beastly t&talisator." And, then, to the accused, he said. "Leave tins filthy rot (totahsa^tor betting) alone — you will only ruin yourself." J * * * A lady fnenld avers that the bye-laws of the city are becoming a bye-word of reproach. She says that as for any pioper observance of that one relating to the sanitary management of fowls, there is no attempt made on the na.rt of the authorities to do anythin- She lives in Epuni-street, and from her description, the aromas of that locality are not a bit like the "odors of Eden " *■ ■» * She pomte out that inspectors come looind and find that everything is m accordance with the law, but that the inspectors do not live to windward of the aroma. Also, she avers that festive and hoairy old rats, attracted bv the decay, when caught, look fearfully bubonic If the very numerous fowlruns in Epuni-street are as represented by mv friend, the only couisel can suggest would be to repeal the bye-law relatins to the construction of outbuildmss so that people can have fowls m their scullery if necessary. Have you ever noticed that a great deal of bread is carted round to customers on the top of carts, exposed to the germ-infected atmosphere thei dus+ and dirt of the highways? There is probably nothing better calculated to attract the fleeting microbe than a nice spongy loaf Of course, meat and other articles are also exposed to attacks of dust and thmes, but bread is not washed and cooked after it leaves the cart Wheiefore, I opine that the subject of covering up the staff of life during transit is an important one. * * • You know Vaniman, the American photographer who takes a four-feet picture p Ho is away up at Te Aroha, taking photographs for the Government. The whole of the pious persons m that little sulphurous town are wildly incensed because Melvin took pictures on Sunday, the only day during the month that was fine. One of the members of the Domain Board was so diendfully annoyed that a person could be so sinful (his sin being measured by the size of his photograph"), that he tendered his resignation . Of course, the Domain people will quit charging admission on Sundays after this

Down South la&t week a leturned ' swaddy" and his revered parent — an ex-police officer 'tis said — had a set-to, and managed to puni&h each other rather severely. They met subsequently at the hospital. ■»■ * * Isn't it a curious thing that most professional people ("stars," that is) have generally used somebody's hair dye, or taken somebody's cough lozenzes, and that the proprietors always publish Jieir photographs, probably as an. instance of the courage possessed by professionals. Take up an ordinary magazine and you w iLL had testimonials from all sorts of queens of song and tragedy whose silken tresses (which they never wear professionally) are the result of "Hairine," or the rosebud of health (which sparkles out of the rougepo-t) which Meachem's pills lias put theie. I often, wonder w hy people are so proud of having been bald-headed, or bilious, by setting, it out in bold type, with photograph attached. Can it be mutual advertisement for the "star" and the medicine men p * * * The latest suggestion re Sunday obseivance, and the Julius creed, reaches us from an athletic young person who sculls. He says that if the parsons want to show their broadmindedness during the summer then they oucrht to hold services in the boat-sheds early in the morning before the crews go for their "pull." I have a whole phantasmagoria of possibilities for parsons chasing each other through mv cerebellum, and one is that of a solemn clergyman announcing that after service the Petone Pet will seek to knock out the Poneke Pug in the vestry , collection in aid of the choir fund. Ah me, what would grandma say? One can get some extremely unpleasant experiences even m the solemn tiams sometimes. For instance, 1 sat opposite to an extremely dressy lady the other afternoon The lady had a little daughter. Lady's carnage was probably at Rouse and Hurrell's for painting, as she had condescended to ride in the Corporation ' crawler " • A Maori gentleman got in at Vivian-street corner very hot, and perspirin°\ Just hack from the Otaki races, I expect. He mopped his damp brow prodigiously, and polished his chocolate countenance until it shone. "My word, mamma," said that angelic child, "the stuff he uses does not come off like yours dees." And waiting for the blush, I saw a darker shade struggle through mv lady's pigments.

A man, who got two months for false pretences at Chnstohurch the of her day, had been sustaining the rather incongruous roles of mining expert and preacher of the Gospel. He blamed his valueless cheques, etc. , on the drink as usual. * * * One gets romances even in the public library. A young fellow, who was about to screw himself up to the "popping" point a few days ago, now declares the bargain off. He wandered in from Willis-street, took down a book in the library, and sat down at one of the tables to read. He discovered a "book-mark" in it. The book-mark proved to be a very yum-ymn kind of epistle, signed bv his best gir 1 and commencing, "My darling Jack." His name is not "Jack," and since his discovery he has not been anywhere near that absent-minded damsel. * * ♦ Life is but play ; -x. throb, a tear ; A sob, a sneer, And then — good day! Life is but jest • A dream, a doom ■ A gleam, a gloom, And then — good rest! Life is but such As wrought God's will , 'Tis nought, and still 'Tis oft — too much ' * * ♦ I overheard a quaint observation at the exhibition of the New Zealand Academy of Fine Arts on Saturday afternoon. "How do you understand the phrase, an 'impressionist picture' s "' asked a fair country cousin of a gentleman, w horn I believe to be ' a cynic. "Why, an impressionist picture." he said, "is one that leaves on your mind the impression that it is the picture of a cow, and the impression lingers until you look at the catalogue, and read that it is the picture of a water-spaniel."