It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume III, Issue 115, 13 September 1902, Page 24

It is Town Talk

— That New Zealand wethers are in great demand in Sydney. Also, the kind spelt with an "a" is badly wanted. — That there aie at least twenty different versions in circulation of the "not" of the "Tenth" in Newcastle (Natal). —That it lias been found that saw dust and treacle are good for stock Here is a way out of the Australian drought difficulty. — That the King is advised to persistently eat apples. There is going to be a boom in that fruit, and work for pomologists. — That the ladies have sprung, into the breach to help the Veterans' Home Fund and are organising a gymkhana for October. — That the Kaffirs in Africa will have to do a lot of thieving from the white man to pa\ the capitation tax of £2 per head per year. — That the British press has not altered the opinion of King Dick that the British people are apathetic. This was his parting shot. — That King Dick is now a doublebarrelled LL.D. of Oxford and Edinburgh, and that he is a freeman of several columns of cities — That they actually caught one of those fire alarm breaking idiots at Napier, and fined him £1. Napier might lend Wellington some police. — That a microbe crank, who spent £1500 in erecting a "germ proof" home down South, has just been buried in a hygienic coffin, the victim of influenza. — That Mr Jack Gibbons is the "doyen" of Wellington reporters, with twenty years' continuous service on the "Post," and several years' previous experience. — That the Southern Chinaman who was isolated for leprosy, is really suffering from frost-bite, contracted twenty years ago. What about that doctor's diagnosis ? — That Mr. Justice Cooper, at Dunedin, advised a young man, who worked seventy hours a week for 37s 6d, not to get married. The man was a groom m the employ of the City Council ' — That people, other than earthquake experts, cannot understand why the Wellington seismograph registers Manila earthquakes, and refuses to recognise a quake occurring on the spot. — That the open "summer" car put on bv a discriminating City Council on Monday, when the temperature was as low as it has been all the winter, would be useful as a travelling refrigerator. — That a gentleman, who took his wife to the House ' where the laws are framed," the other day was anxious to be shown the "framing department " Some of them are pictures anyhow ' — That the servants' garret in a certain hotel is reported to be unsafe in case of fire Servants, however may be frizzled in the meantime as nothing is to be done until after the elections. — That a Wellington medico is of opinion that the "pneumonia" of which the New Zealand troops have been dying is not true pneumonia, but an emdenuc disease which is not vet understood. — That the question of destroying decayed hotels is to be held over "until the local option poll takes place." Which is a pointer as to how the Licensing Committee believe the said noil will result. — That the Newcastle (Natal) not between Tommies and New Zealanders, lasted for several hours, and was only stopped by the Provost-Marshall clearing the police and New Zealanders off the street altogether. A novel wav to restore order. — That it is quite evident that New Zealanders at Bislev are no more entitled to be classed as the "anointed" than the "Tommies" whose shooting education, according to New Zealand papers, has been so neglected. — -That Wellington has witnessed more conferences than any other city south of the line during the past year, and the number of delegates who have visited the city, and are now nominated as candidates for Parliament is phenomenal — That Mr. William Watson, exbank manages, went out for a spin along Waterloo Quay in Heming's motor car on Tuesday last. And Mr. Martin Kennedy was inspecting the machine with great interest outside the "Times" office. Which reminds us that "motoring" is the favourite sport of the millionaires.

— That the initials of a member of the Canterbury Hducation Board are C H A. T — That, the New tow n-Thoindon 'bus hoises will not be son\ that the so i vice is to be discontinued — That a contractor up the Manaw atu lejoices in the inappropiiate name of I. Fake. Now , if he was a Wellington contractoi ' — That a woman denti.st down South is suing her husband also a dentist, for divoice They can "pull" together no longer. — 'That nothing can alter the fact that King Dick is en route for New Zealand, and that, up to now, Cecil Rhodes has not been succeeded. — That the Masterton "Times" wants to make King Dick a Governor", Sir Joseph Ward an Agent-Genera], and Mi Carroll the Premier — -That a gentleman, who wanted to send a telegram to New Plymouth refused to sign his name to it, as he said "the old girl knows my 'andwritm'." — That since the Newtown "Army" band heard that it was making a disturbance it has fallen back on a solo concertina, and the people are glad. — That the latest lobby quip is that Fred Pirani cannot sears clear as Fred Sears' The pressman who owns the copyright of this alleged ioke is missing just now. — That a young clerk, who made a hasty departure from Auckland a few weeks ago, was accompanied on his expedition to fresh fields and pastures new by a charming widow 7 . — -That a Wellington youth, who resolved to live a better life after going to a revival service, next morning convinced a lady with a six foot that she could wear a two boot. — That Louisson, who scored one of the goals for Manawatu juniors, in last week's representative hockey match, is the young man who married sweet songstress, Jennie Sheen. — That it is cheerful news for railway travellers to know that they stand a good chance of getting suffocated to death with sulphur fumes in travelling through the Lyttelton tunnel. —That Mr. A. B. Worthington, who is charged with fraud, is the gentleman who, a week or two ago in Sydney, charged the Torrey-Alexander combine with undue love for the ' dallars." — That the Wairarapa police recently chased a suspect to his lair. The ladies of the house held the police off for three hours with brooms and hot water. You see, it was not a Chinese lottery shon. — That a Wellington citizen is telling weird tales about his expenence with the Sydney "sandb aggers." He had a teninc adventure with a shadow some yeais ago and made a name for couiage — That a young woman who recently made a serious charge against a straneer, which charge was not proved, is sister to another female who once made an audacious accusation against an Auckland professional man. —That a Thorndon farnih w hose domestic ' tieasure" did not sta\ long enough the other morning to make the breakfast is bemoaning the loss of several waidrobes and sundry other valuable possessions that disappeared at the same time. — That convicts and artillerymen would not, on any account, supply plans of our splendidly-protected forts. Couldn't we borrow a few Prussian officials, and get a loan of Siberia in order to deal with people who want to walk round the Shelly Bay-road? — That a man weighing about eight stone may be often seen carrying bricks or shovelling clay, and a man wearing a seventeen inch collai and a No 12 boot may as frequently be seen measuring tape and ribbon. Yet, they say that only Japan is "toosy-turvy " — That Lawyer Martin, during the course of the Tramw r ay Commission, offeicd to go in "the box " and submit himself to Lawyer Wilford's examination. "I hope you'll never go in the box until you die l " retorted Mr Wilford heartily. (Smiles.^ — That a seaman, in an assault case in our S.M. Court last week, was asked by the accused where he hit him. "On the bridge of the nose " replied the A.B. "Now " denied the accused "you said I hit you between the bridge and the fiddley'" (This meant he was hit in the waist — of the ship.)