It Is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume III, Issue 109, 2 August 1902, Page 26

It Is Town Talk

That this is a thankless world. A man gets no credit w hen he pays cash. That Masteiton mourns. Rifle champion Hyde has not been heard of at the Bisley meeting. —That, as the oiling of streets is likely to become universal, a friend asks it it will supersede the greasing of palms. —That Sydney-side Arbitration Court is doing a roaring trade. New Zealand has the staan of its inception on its soul. .Tli a* the number of men who are "going for" that £300 a-year at the coming elections easily surpasses all records. — That a paper which printed the word "starving" instead of "starrincr in reference to a noted actress, is likely to hear more about it. That it is a difficult matter to arouse interest in a postponed event. Theie is little enthusiasm evinced over the coming Coronation. —That Clement Wragge, the distributor of storms is -<üblishing a weekly weather paper, which he appropriately styles "The Wragge." — That the Bang's illness has set him thinking. He has given up his racing stud, and will send no more horses to try and win the Derby. — That as there are bound to be remarkable political changes, at the end of the year, quite a number of temporary clerks are feeling uneasy. — That Contmgenters in Africa are not rushing the Rand mines to> oust the niggers at 5s a day. We shall "et a few of "our boys" back yet. — That Karori Cemetery bids fair to become a favuonte picnic ground ' Last Sunday week 507 people took their promenade there between 2 and 4 p.m. — That Napier Irishmen have wired to the Premier to insast, while he has the ear of the British Government, that the ' ould sod" gets Home Rule. —That a well-merited rebuke was administered by a suburban cler^man to one of our citizen-soldiers on Monday night in the tram travelling to town. — That, according; to a New Zealand officer, the Boers consider the best British general to have been Buller. French came next, and Me-thuen a good third. — That a certain highly-placed citizen in Wellington is promised the "father of a beating" when "hubby" returns from Sydney. Facts may get into print yet. — That, according to the Mayor, "the people of Wellington control the tramway traffic' That is so. The rjokce have not got the hand in it they should have. — That the general public would be surprised to see the size of the cheques draiMi bv Wellington doctors for examination of possengers to this port. — -That a newly-arrived wool expert has pronounced a sample of kapok to be "finest merino wool, doncherknow," and has bespoken 5000 bales for his firm at Home. — That one of the latest gems from Mr. E. M. Smith, in "Hansard," reads "And now I think I shall conclude by "reciting some poetry." — Debate adjourned. — That the besotted derelict who has just 'come into four million pounds, and could you lend me a bob," is on the increase m Wellington. Home wanted for him. — That no arrangements have been yet made by the City Council to give a public welcome to the Boer delegates who will shortly be here to study our methods — That newspapers in New Zealand do not "try" prisoners before they are proved guilty. Yet, many have called the Kenniffs the "murderers" of Doyle and Dalke. — That a local prophet has clearly demonstrated that the world is coming to an end m a thousand years. That is the sort of prophet we can honour in his own country. — That khaki is considered by some of our volunteers to be sufficient covering for acts of hoodlumism. So one must have thought who had occasion to travel to town in a smoking carriage bv the suburban train' the other night. —That Mr. "Tommy" Taylor has been telling the English people that a woman seen going into a bar in New Zealand would be disgraced. Mr. Taylor has evidently not noticed the curtained recesses for "ladies only" in New Zealand hotels.

— That another typical "Britisher" occupied the chair at an up-country ''welcome home" social the other da" His name was Zitowski — That a woman tm-labeller handles two tons of jam to earn half-a-crown. Intei estmg to know how many local matches that won't stake she handles foi a like amount — That the question is being asked "Why not a branch Veteians' Home foi the. South Island Why not one in each big centre now the people's hearts are warm tow ards it ? — That the New Zealand buiglai got\s a buighne in undisturbed serenity. We wonder it the gentlemen are the same who ha\e been escaping from the >-. o lice for the past two years — That the question as to whether we shall, or shall not have a dock has yet to be decided bv the Upper House If the "Loids" should throw it out won't George's wrath be terrible ' — That a section of Wellington society is convulsed by the fact that a recentlvarrived Sydney-%side lady is claiming a long-married local gentleman as her lawful wedded husband — That a local medico has received a letter of thanks> from a trustee in the estate of a deceased patient. He says that through his kind offices tw o families are now living in comfort — -That the Wellington School Commissioners mif»ht send to Europe for a main to fill the vacant secietaryship. Tt is only to be expected that it is too ~ood a billet for a New Zealander — That the veterans of the House are coming to the assistance of the veterans of the Empire liberally, and the longlist of guineas from Ms.H R. will help the> Veterans' Home scheme along — That an up-country youth hopped over a business-man's counter, and annexed his till. Said till contained Is 2d. Frightened spieler left a £20bike outside. Business man scores. — That a recent "drunk" pleaded that corns in the soles of the feet had led the arresting constable to the suspicion that his unsteady gait was the result of alcohol. Five shillings and costs. — That the New town believer in faithhealing, who prayed vigorously and finally fell back on the doctor, recommends that gentleman to "have faith and you'll get your money " Name. please ' — That the latest injury thieatened to King Dick is that Austin, the poet laureate, should write a poem on him. What he has done to incur the displeasure of that vapid scribe is hard to imagine. — That a local applicant for a ~osition as "general," on seeing the kitchentable at which she was expected to officiate, refused to take the billet. The table was not big enough to play pingpong on ' — That the management of the Chartered Company of Rhodesia, vacant bv the death of Cecil Rhodes is not vet filled. Applicants from Taranaki, with ironeand and mineralogical experience generally, should stand a show. — That an authority says that if the New Zealand girl of to-day was more like her mother men would not be so disinclined to marry. What's the matter with making the minimum ace for marriageable "girls" 4o °