Afternoon Tea Gossip

Free Lance, Volume III, Issue 108, 26 July 1902, Page 6

Afternoon Tea Gossip

By Little Miss Muffitt

Digging into up-country hies the other day, I came across the following answer to a correspondent We decline to acknowledge receipt of your lettei." The imprint at the foot of the paper shows that the firm running it hails from Hibernia * * * An Auckland paper says that Arbour Day was utilised for tree-planting puiposes. and, without break or hindrance, naively remarks that 'Next morning the Police Court opened for business an hour earlier than usual." The Auckland people must surely have made more of a festival of it than Wellington did. » » • It is quite tiue that some of the Wai Office officials are old women. A lach , with official rank and medals too, is head of the Army nursing staff, and it is said that she and other old women of the other sex frequently foregather and decide what to do in case New Zealand should refuse to help England in her next emergency. A Wellington girl, just returned from Sydney, says it is absolutely pathetic to watch the evolutions of septnagenarlan civil servants over on the other side just at, present. You see, anybody over three score and ten is to be "retrenched." There is a big trade doing in men's corsets, hair dye, wigs, etc., and the barbers are busy clipping patriarchal beards into youthful smartness. The age average in the Federal Civil Service is reported to have dropped ten years all round. • * Curious how, when once the appetite for horror is aroused, that it takes so much feeding. The West Indian eruptions have sent the sale of sensational stories up lots of per cent, and every yarn with a volcano in it is coming out

with new editions. The cnculation of Lytton's 'Labt Days of Pompeii," is in eiuption at piesent and "going up" witn giatiiying iesult& to the pubhshei. borne of the coloured punts of Mont Pelee ten minutes after the eruption aip awfully pood. The papeis do not explain how the aitists got away with the sketches or why Mont Pelee is m every conceivable shape, according; to the journal it figures in. One of the featuies, of a spintualistie Home paper is a column wntten by spnit. scnbes from the other woild. Tins sounds a good, cheap line lam thinking of getting Ben Jonson's wntr«Mi opinion on motor cars for my next i^sue, and Shake-speaie will be asked f ; contribute an aiticle on the "Decline of the Drama," or the "North Tiunk Railway. Chaucoi has piomised to think 'ip some smart verse, too, and ha° promised to try and impio\e his spelling » * * Dr John Smyth, like so many othe 'New Zealanders, went ana^ when ho found there was not a billet in Nev Zealand good enough for him. He is at piesent principal of the Victoria Training College Hei was once a struggling Staite school teacher in thi= country, and is an M.A. of the Otago Umveisity. He went to Germany to study logic philosophy and history, and afterwaids occupied the chair of mental science in Dunedin. whither he dnfted towards Europe, and into his piesent Victorian haven -<- •/■ *■ A little romance just to hand. An English lady with friends in New Zealand, received a batch of photographs by mail a couple of months ago. One w as a picture of the Rotorua Sanatorium. In the foreground were a lady and gentleman. The English lady recognised the gentleman as her long-dis-appeared husband, and the lady by his side as a former housemaid. There is hkelv to be work for Sir Francis Jeune, or other divoVce judges, through the medium of that Auckland photographer. * • • I had a letter from a young New Zealand friend from Durban last week. He used to be a much-oppressed cadet in the Railway Stores Department here, and so he lit out for railways new. Natal Government said that if he would consent to work for treble his former salary, he could start at once. He joyfully avers that his "soul case" is not worn out with "please exnlains" in Natal. There is pondering material here for New Zealand red tapeists in high office.

It made one teel glad to be a woman at the lepiesentative match on Saturday, at Carterton. A trifling little difference of opinion was gaining ground m one corner of the paddock, and the crowd surged around that point. A young lady of large proportions belaboured a small boy with an umbrella. "I'll teach you to barrack for Wellington'" she yelled between the bangs. Of course, the boy still insisted on veiling much to the annoyance of the Wairaiapa girl, and the sight of a flushed and distiessed young woman chasing a fleet boy was quite as inteiesting as the match. Ecv Mr. Ward, of Dunedin, has been publicly accused of a grave w rong. One of his congregation wrote that he did, on a special date, with malice aforethought sink so low as to play the game of ping-pong, an occupation illbefittmg the serious nature of his profession. This gentleman had the courage to lead that letter in the church, and asked his congiegation to bear with him. He would try to overcome his fiailty, but he was only human. Theip is some talk of having a mngpong patch in the cemeteries for victims to the fell disease, after the rouge-et-noircemeteiy at Monte C'ailo. It is surpusmg how some scubes sacrifice truth to 'smart" writing. The Johannesburg "Star" heaped columns of praise on King Dick when he was there. 'This great Imperialist," "Our distinguished guest from New Zealand," etc. An alleged eliding from a more recent Johannesburg Star," calls him, "This New Zealand larrikin, firebrand," and goes for him Auth a big jagged bludgeon. Either the Johannesburg "Star" performed a surprising revolution within a few days, or some scribe in search of sub]ect& has used the name of that paper to veil his own literary acrimony. Most probably the latter. y ♦ * Sandow and his system have been responsible for a. remarkable decrease in political "figures." "Georgy Por°7 Reid, the weighty leader of the Federal Opposition, is a perfect shadow of his former self, and at present weighs but fifteen stone. Formerly, before he took on physical exercise, he ran our own Dick very close. The Honourable George once tried to reduce his corpulence by joining a volunteer corps' as a private, but he felt aggrieved at a temporary clerk m his "employ" telling him to '"mark time," and "throw out yer chest," and crew weightier than ever. Sandow- should get a testimonial from him w hen lie comes along.

The impressionable and highly-strung ex-Governor-General of the Commonwealth completely broke down when he left, Australia. One of my Melbourne correspondents writes that his going away was a damp and dismal affair. Long lines of ladies wept, and when the band at the railway station played "Will ye no come back again." Australia's best-beloved just melted into tears If the question of the Governor-Gene-ral's salary had been decided by referendum, there is little question that the noble Marquis would still be the figurehead of the Commonwealth. * * • Fo' lon ing New Zealand's example, South Australian politicians are no r now allow ed to string out their speeehe. beyond eight-day clock endurance Acting-Governor Tennyson said so in his speech. There was great joy and undiluted gladness in the press galleries of the "House" when His Lordship made that remark from the Throne." Like the speech of Lord Ranfurly, the oration of His South Australian Excellency was marked by unexampled brevity. As it was a review of the past, the whole thing boiled down could be expressed in the one word, "Drought." * * * Curious that the Marchioness of Linlithgow (Lady Hopetoun) was not quite as popular as her noble husband in the Commonwealth. Related that young Lord Hope was one time suffering from a serious childish complaint, and Melbourne's greatest doctor was called. "Well^my little chap," he staid, "what's wrong with you ?" "Little chap !" indignantly queued her ladyship, "Lord Hope, please !" "Perhaps, you had better get another doctor for Lord Hope " suggested the great medico and left. Curiously, the independent sawbones 1 was 1 called later on to repair an accident her ladyship sustained in the hunting field. * ♦ • An interesting fact has come to light through the medium of a Home paper It seems that if you write for the Home magazines, English publisher.* send along a blank oheque, and you fill it in yourself. Winston Churchill, the young man who came to light through being imprisoned by the Boers, valued his brainware at £50 per 1000 words and Hall Came easily commands £150 per 1000. Lord Tennyson, for an eightline poem, asked £50, and got if. Whatever the late Mr. Gladstone wrote he appraised at £250. These prices compare favourably with New Zealand rates.