It Is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume III, Issue 107, 19 July 1902, Page 26

It Is Town Talk

--That it is better to give than to recene especially if the gift is castoioil. —That Mr Chamberlain, when he meets the redoubtable Botha^ will be ,ure to sa\ 'Give us your Rand, old boA '" —That the old Akaroa French settlois w ere useful colonists M. Francois Lelievre, who recently died, lert 10.1 descendants. —That the citizen who rewarded a boy. «ho returned his purse with ±.1U intact. «itfi a ha-porth of lollies, hopes that he will return the lolly-bag. —That the iron heel of the British capitalist is making itself felt in the Transvaal already. Reduced wages for the Kaffirs, and a consequent strike That a laugh was caused at a weddnw up Masterton way by the groom who" was nervous, asking the parson it was ''kisstomary to cuss the bride. .That the PaLmei ston Borough Council have refused a present of a site for an opera house. They are not gome to trifle with the people's morals in Palmerston.. - That an up-North contemporary, in repoitmg a local concert, says that one of the vocalists sang "the favourite Irish song. Annie Laurie" Another in]ustire to Scotland 1 —That, seeing that the War Office is dispensing with a great many of its cavalry officers its slavish follower, the New Zealand War Department, might ver\ well follow suit. That a Newtown man, who a while ao-o was lumping for joy at getting his daughters off his hands, now finds it is taking him all his time to keep their husbands on their feet. That the Governor's scheme for a Veterans' Home, emanating from a simple suggestion, bids fair to become a far more important affair than ever His Excellency imagined. —That the people of Christchurch have an absurd idea that they should have whole, instead of half, footpaths. Dissatisfied Welhngtonians have pi obably spread the epidemic. —That, if the moose and wapiti are intioduced by the Acclimatisation Society, the kangaroo should be given a chance. He is just about as destructive a beast as the other tw o. —That, as the exorbitant charges of "cabbies" are being discussed, why not insist that a municipal table of fares be placed in every cab, as is done in less municipally perfect citiesi 9 —That samples of Hutt-road and Wellington footpaths, examined and compared by a competent engineer, are indistinguishable It's a toss-up which are the most villainous —That a serious shipping accident happened recently in a Sydney dock. If you haven't got a dock you cannot have an accident in it, eh, Mr. Fisher Wellington is on the safe side —That something will be done before "veiv long" to cope with the chronic drunkard This seems to be a repetition of the promise that was made a few Parliaments ago Give them time' That "a piano and a couple of pounds" was considered the height of bliss b\ a sailor at the Mission to Seamen ' He said that if he had these he "wouldn't mind settling in Wellington -That it is an astounding thing that young men "do not go on the land " A young farmer at Pongaroa says there is money in it He made a fortune of £20 in eight years, and only worked sixteen hours a day — That, re the new Town Clerk, it is onh natural that a gentleman from Melbourne or Sydney should know more about the town clerk business of Wellington than any person who has lived here all his life 'Twas ever thus —That a farm hand's "found," having been assessed at 8s bv a magistrate, and his usual wage los, it is interesting to observe that most of this class receive a waee of nearly 2d per hour. Tins country is not a Russian colony, either —That, at the Church Conference, held in Wellington it was decided that woman could still go on doing all the Church work she wanted, but was not to be considered as having any brains entitling her to vote in religious councils That, if the Northern unemployed difficulty increases, there will be trouble somewhere. The only way out of the difficulty is to get into gaol, and have a real good, well-fed time, tree-planting at Rotorua and watching Waiinanau eevser do its "turn " Better than lo«ifir>a lound watching foreigners woi k

— That a Ntn\ Zealander m Afuca assorts that tin- Boeis intend forming a lepiesentative football team to torn Kngland dining the coming Home flintei -That a Noi thorn lach who has filled tip the fiont of one srravestono with the names of husbands and then seveial witnos, has made a start on the back —That it lvnlwcn piivilegos and cheap faies extend a,t the late the\ threaten to do it will soon be convenient to inn the service a^ a puieh philanthropic co nee i n — That, while on the subject of the You lie: Pei .sons Piotection Bill, Parliament might see what it can do towards ''A Supei vision bv Parents Bill " You cannot inculcate- morals per police. --That there is dioadful disapoointment amone flask-carrying railway travellers now that the new footw armers imported by the Railway Depaitment are not to be heated with hot water — That the South African Piesentation of Clasps Enabling Bill has not been brought before the House vet and consequently the good old War Office has the medal clasps still in a forgotten lumber-room — That the Small Birds Nuisance Bill piovides that you will be fined £10 if a bird lavs an eeg on your land and it hatches The builder of that bill should be turned on to a 10,000-acie paddock egg-bunting — That amateur Leadham, of Auckland who won the big prize at the New South Wales Photographic Society's sihow last week, has led 'em before. He won honours at several exhibitions (including Wellington last year — That a four-rodm eottaere in Pretoua costs £10 per month in rent and Kaffir servants, whom the Boers used to work for nothing, being now as good as the "white baa«." want £4 a month Emigrate, bv all means — That, of all the newtpapei tips" circulated as to the probable successor to the Marquis of Linlithgow to the Goveinor-Generalship of the Australian Commonwealth, the name of E M Smith does not occur once Why this thusness ? — That a eood deal of tiouble is taken to teach hand-sew ins; m the public schools. About one female in a thousand does her sewing bv hand The remainder use a, machine. Grant for sewing-machines wanted' —That King Dick is not taking any suggestions from Mi . Chamberlain as to the colonies bearing their share of Britain's burden bv direct levy Following our esteemed daily contemporaries, we hereby affirm ' I told you so." That a V.C. w on in 1863 has. in the ordinary course of War Office business, been recently presented. The winner is dead, but his grandson gets it iust the same. Illustrious example for the New Zealand Defence Department 1 — That the Rev Mr Waters Vicar of St. Peter's, told the Synod last week that he had found that "an old horse and an old soldier recen eel the same treatment in this woild " Tlkm are both discarded w hen their period of seivice is ended — whv 5 — That the Government has iust lately remembeied that some damage was caused by the Tarawera eruption. It has made a iust, if tardy compensation to Maoiis who lost their land in the mud bv giving them 2000 acres more. — That a Parisian firm, out of compliment to the mayors of New Zealand, engages to make an enlargement of their nhotographs fiee of charge That is all light Wait until the^s send the bill for cairiage and the gorgeous gilt frame — That if all the genius that is being expended on ''the small bird nuisance' wa.<- concentrated on the question of exterminating 'bunin " the members with fm and feathers on the biam might save the people's crops from destruction — That it one may be allowed to see with a prophetic eve, there will be no such thing as a scliool cadet, corps in New Zealand m a yea,r or two A 2s fid capitation grant would kill the military ambition of the most ardent juvenile volunteer. — That the Parliamentarian who believes that the deluge of holida>s (one day a fortnight) is sufficient lelaxation for asylum attendants, and who- also thinks they are well paid at. £70 a year or so, is not going to hand his salary over to chan^ oi decline to rest from his Pailiamentarv duties eight months dunng the j eai

The " Laboui Question" i«, we know, A problem haid to sohe, But if its pi ogress is but slow, Results m time ie\olve But in the case of cold 01 cough, Results aie swift and sine, If we but take to dnve them on Some Woods' Grfvt Peppermint Cure