Amateur Dramatics at Bandicoot.

Free Lance, Volume III, Issue 107, 19 July 1902, Page 19

Amateur Dramatics at Bandicoot.

TH h <|Uiet township of Bandicoot was tliiillcd to its centie when it was announced that the leading \ouna ladies ot the chstiict had resolved to fomi <in amateui dramatic club I hc\ had been impelled to this action b\ the peisistent suggestions of young >iooU'\ the bank cleik from Melbourne, whobiouglit the idea, with other latest fashions hoiii the inetiopohs Hoolev said th.it amateui theatricals and amateur opeiaticals were all the iage, and that tlie\ weie not onl\ good toim, but good tun as well The \oung and piett\ {,n Is or Bandicoot weie in love with the notion <\m\ as all the female Bandicoots ueie \ouua and piettv 01 weie so consideied b\ then ]>aients and theuiM'hes the idea was waimh taken up The paternal Bandicoots were disposed to pooh-pooh the club but the mothers seemed ra\ ourable to it As a mattei of fact the mations of the tow nslun had lecenth been legietting the fallina-ofF in the marnage late of the di^tnet and the club seemed hkel\ to ane-t the matrimonial dr\-rot that appiaied to ha\e leeentlv set in It will brine; the young folks moie into touch with each othei ." aigued these ladies 'It will give them facilities for understanding each othei , and conduce to happy companionships for life " The \oung ladies of Bandicoot, therefoie weie most agreeably surprised to find that the mothers approved of the formation of the Amateur Dramatic Club So. in due course and without unneeessan delay. the Australian Bandicoot Diamatic Club was caJled into existence members enrolled and officebearers- and working officials elected Youne Hoolev at his own suggestion, was unanimoush appointed honorary stage-manaeer upon the clear understanding that he did not cast himself for any of the leading characters This proviso was deemed necessary as a piecautaonan measure, delivering from the temptation (common to amateurs md managers' wives) of playing all the leading parts himself. There was but little difficulty in settling the preliminary business The divei«it\ of opinion arose when it became necessaiy to decide the particular rlasv of play to be undertaken, or ' mteipieted," as Mr. Hoole^ picfeired grandiloquently to term it He explained that in the best professional circles now-a-days pieces and parts weie not merely "played" — they were "interpreted" and "created." The laches rtho had piett\ faces and could sine: — and knew it — were for opera, whilst the aentlemen who could not act and did not know it, were divided between Sliakespeaip melodrama and problemplav. Pait and party feeling ran lush and it was feared that the A.B CD would pensh stillborn, when the re- - mceful Hooley came to the rescue with a compromise between music and the drama Let us ha\e a burlesque," suggested the honoiarv stage-manager "and then Me cm mtioduce all kinds of specialities from tiagedy fco step-dancing 01 /lthei— olos It will be gieat fun — especial 1\ as tt<? shall do the thing proper1\ ]u<-t the same as upon the piofessional sta^e There w a« a lnmniur of appioval fiom all except Miss Sheepshanks who wore ola.stes lead sex-problem novels, advocated female suffiage, and preached modest\ m women. Did she understand that Mr Hoolev pioposed that the male chaiacters should be lepre--entecl b\ he i self and the othei young ladies of Bandicoot 0 Theie was a terrible and breathless silence foi an instant, and then the unabashed Hooley answered emphatically Most decidedly It's quite the ins-hion in the best society — awfully good fun \ou know — and awfully good form " The \oung men breathed hard, and (he \oung women blushed and simpered, when the\ lemarked the emphasiswhich the cunning Hooley placed upon the woids 'good form " And if I might be allowed to sug-op-«t fnrthei " continued the masterful Hoo!e\ 'we couldn't do better than pl.u Cinderella ' We can then set in all the special turns in the ballroom -rene Introduce an-\ thing in that -\ on know bv letting the Prince cackle a rouple of lines to bring it on Thus And now your pleasuie furthei to enhance. The pupils of Miss Smith will e:ive a dance " Dance ovei , then the Prince can And now, perhaps, your fancy it will suit To hear M'Guffin's solo on the flute ■ And so on for recitations, Bibleclass gymnastics, female club-swinging, or anything. What do you say ? Shall it be 'Cinderella'?" The suereestion was adopted unanimoiiuh Miss Sheepshanks stipulating that on no account would she consent

to pla\ tlu* Pnnce at winch Mi Hoolev sighed with j chef and the \oung .me! prett\ girls smflod and audibly whispeied something about good toi m " 'C'nideiella ' was decided upon, but the casting ot chaiacteis was left until Ihe ne\t meeting as Hoolev felt that there would be tiouble And tlieie w a,s The appioval of the mothcis cooled when thc\ leaint that th<Mi daughters woie to appeal m builesque costume K\ erv mothei insisted that her daughter should not become unsexed but might pla.v Cmdeiella, whilst eveiv daughter w as seized bv an ambition to appear as the Pnnce Miss Sheepshanks was the exception, but that was piobabh because she was supposed to have matiimomaJ designs upon the new euia.te, and w as afraid to 'hock his- feelines ( damage her chances " the olhei eirls tnid) bv having her giacps. spied "' At length the ehaiacters were allotted Theie was necessarily great disappointment and Hoolev earned the undvmo- hatred of half the club He pointed out to the membeis that tliev could not all be Cinderella^ and Princes, and excused himself to Miss Sheepshanks for casting: her for one of the ugly sisteis by telling- her that he did so becau.se she would not be compelled to show her legs, and need not male p. up much for the part Insulted, as well as injured, Miss Sheepshanks threw up the part of Clorinda, and indignantly left the club. Hoolev managed to pacify most of the other eirls by telling them that the dresses of the courtiers, huntsmen, and peasants were simply lovely, and would be specially lent to the club bv Mr. George Muserove But Hoolev's troubles were by no means over — and he knew it. He had been shrewd enough to cast the tw o heiresses of the township for the leading roles, knowing that the other fdrls would scarcely quarrel with the chief givers of parties balls, and afternoon teas Besides, both the vouug ladies w ere no longer objects of jealousy, for Mi's' Baggs, who was the Cinderella, was known to be engaged to young Hoolev and the engagement of Miss Diggs to Mr Stonebroke the commission aeent, had already been formally announced in the columns of the "Bandicoot Bounder." The real trouble was with the subordinates and the chorus when it came to dressing the stage "Dressing the stage" is a great and necessary part of a bui lesque production It means the disposal of the living furniture to the best advantage. Good legs are made to step forward and hide, or, at any rate, minimise, the drawback of "broom - handles" and "wasters."' The assortment of these into front and back ranks is a delicate task o\ en in the profession — but w ith amateurs, who gave their services for nothing' Young Hooley knew that when their own figures are m question women have no sense of proportion, so he widely advised the engagement of a professional aotor from Melbourne to class the chorus into 'Mulhngars," dime-museums," and "little bits of allught." Mr Dan Bariy having kindly recommended Mr. Buskin, a young actor who was generally "resting," that brilliant professional was engaged for the post of assistant stage-manager and to look after the ' props " in more senses than one. Theie was some little demur amongst the young ladies w hen Mr Buskin wanted the props "trotted out," a.s he termed it, but when the chorus were assured that the proceeding was eustomaiv, inspection and classification w ere consented to. The second row rose m revolt in a body — or, rather, in the legs. Why, they w anted to know , were, they placed in the second row 9 Even Buskin did not caie to tell them that that was the place for Mullinger heifers and bowed belles, and weakly protested that height, sense of proportion, artistic peispective, and other things rendered this course necessary. The second row could have put up with an insult to their teeth, but not to their legs. so they resigned Substitutes were enrolled, but when the&e "understudies" found themselves chaffed by the -\ outh of the township a& "bandicoots," with the accent on the first two syllables, and when in the poets' corner of the "Bounder" auoeared some verses with a chorus which ran thus — 'For she's m the second row Of the 'Cinderella' show , 'Cause she's what you call a bow, Don't you know?" t lie understudies resented the insult to then understandings, and also resigned and it was resolved to play the burlesque with only a front row. It has been said that professional jealousy is mild compared to amateur jealousy, and young Hooley found this out to his soriow, but he bore it all for the sake of Miss Baggs. who was to play Cinderella, and to whom he was to be married next Chri«fmas. But he resolved never again to have anything to do w r ith

amateur theatucaJs aiter this pei'formauec liad taken pLace. But, alas 1 for the hopes of the chorus ajid the hopes of young Hooley, the performance did not take place' Rehearsals and recriminations had gone on steadily foi a month, and then, just when everything seemed to be settling down into something like order, the township of Bandicoot was paralysed by the intelligence that the principals Miss Baggs and Miss Diges, had accepted other engagements, and had gone oft on tour — a honeymoon tour. Theie was a double elopement, Miss Bagps going off with Buskin, and Miss Dices with the reporter editor, manager, advertisement^canvasser. and poets' corner of the local "Bounder." Both ladies wo ip over age, and were married at a matrimonial agency office. The dramatic club had increased the marriage rate, as the Bandicoot mothers had prophesied, but not m the way they had hoped. The fathers of Bandicoot, wlieai they heard of the state of affairs and learned of the classification of the choms 1 like cattle, bought blunderbusses and went round for target practice upon Hooley But young Hoolpv did not wait for them. He deserted his post, and fled to South Africa, losing at one fell stroke a good position and an heiress No one mentions amatour theatricals in the township now, a,nd if any man wants a cheap and effective method of ending this life by gun-shot wound, all he has to do is to go to Bandicoot and ask one of the fathers whether hisi daughter is in the second row of "Cinderella. " — Melbourne "Punch."