Afternoon Tea Gossip

Free Lance, Volume III, Issue 107, 19 July 1902, Page 14

Afternoon Tea Gossip

By Little Miss Muffilt

"Wellington people are putting b\ their bawbees, awaiting the ach ent of Melba. Five shillings is the lowest charge for "standing-room onlj." A good glimpse of the diva will cost \ou £1. * * * A young man, who has hitherto been regarded as perfectly harmless, lias inflicted the fallowing conundium on <il! his acquaintances in Wellington "Why was the knife-board? He explains that the reason was Because the fork wouldn't spoon." * * •>- Mr. E. M. Smith, the stool king" ai Taranaki, wants the King's Coronation swoid to be made out of Taianaki ironsand. I remembei to have seen Mi Smith with a chunk of steel tied on a string hammering it to allow his heaiers to observe the bell-like ring If Mr. Smith is to supply the swoid ho should be asked to give his "ringing" steel exhibition at Windsor One of Sydney's parsons, who is in the wholesale line as far as marriages are concerned, at the time when people fondly imagined the King was to be crowned, did a remarkably foolish thing. Instead of his usual advertisement "Marriages solemnised including; wedding ring and breakfast, 255," he informed intending clients that he would join them for nothing for this occasion only. He commenced at 9 o'clock one morning, and had not got time foi lunch, or dinner, and he had to put up an equivalent to "Standing-room only" on his portal. Of the ninety-eight couples he married on that occasion, quite a, number of the men are now on the way to America, or South Africa, or the Gold Coast or somewhere. Anything in the nature of a free entertainment appeals to the Sydney-sider. I know — I lived there once.

During the time that (according to a Northern papei) Wallace King was lying at death's door, in New Zealand, the a eteran songster was attending Dixs Gaiety Company every night as a spectator. I wonder why they will persist in annoying the popuplar tenor !i\ these exaggerations? Wonder how it feels to be in love for se\enty-hve years? A lady aged 93, who had had a penchant for a gentleman aged 100, for that period, lately married him. So much happiness being thiust on him at once, he liieontinentl\ died. This should he a warning to othei young couples not to dally. Thoie is a poor old man named Caiimchael, over on the "other side," who lode in the chaige of the Light Brigade at Balaclava He was aw ard(>d an old age pension. New Zealand luis men who were fighting fifteen years befoie the Ciimea attack. These are the sort of cases that make Lord Ranfurlv's scheme for a veteran's home such a boon Sir Joseph Ward's marvellous fiuencv appeals to the Maori At a recent meeting, one dusky son of a thousand rangitiras remarked — 'Him rangitira kapai He never stop to look up sky. Bv Golly, all in here," pointing to his mouth "You come with me and have a beer. You lend me a bob, and I pay you sometime By Golly, him the feller." I hope Sir Joseph is not responsible for many Maori thirsts. * * * I got a letter from a nephew in the iMghth Contingent this week. He tells me that lan Hamilton, the smart brigadier, had a guard of four New Zealanders mounted over his private stores. He lost a dozen bottles of "Bass." He doubled the guard, and he thought the man who got through eigjit New Zealanders would be pretty smart. Next day two dozen bottles were missing. * # * Melbourne has recently instituted a professional women writers' club. It is intended to cope with the work of the lady who was not at the last At Home, and. therefore, did not see what kind of a bonnet Mrs. X was wearing. The lady Who is siok will ring up the club, and the club will fill her place Of course, the male element is strictly tabooed, and the funds are augmented by fines levied on members who, against the laws of the club, get married. It promises to be a rich institution, seeing that this clause is to be strictly enforced.

An extraordinaiy bankrupt peison in Melbourne recently paid 2Chs in the £, so lie said. Judge Mole&worth did not believe it, and he offered to give a giltedged certificate to the person who pio\ed that every creditor had received that amount. Surprising that no credit 01 reached out for the certificate. Christchurch ''Truth" gets heated in about eight inches of typographical wrath, devoted to a gentleman by the name of McMurran, an American iournahst who "awhile back fired off columns of amazing drivel to a Wellington interviewer." It fml her violently explains that it mentions these things "afs evidence of the futility of the soft-goods drummer who is wrestling lop-sidedlv with the syntax in a coming book on Now Zealand." Surely, this cannot he the suave, pleasant, Dolished little gentleman with the refined accent and the letiring disposition, who is now in Wellington, and who presented an American flag to Mr. Martin Kennedy the other day? Mr J. A Biowne (Rolf Boldrewood), of ' Robbery Under Arms" fame, as is well known, was once a police magistrate in Victoria Before him once was brought a penitent bushranger, and the magistrate' eyed the shrinking, tearful holder-up of coaches with virtuous indignation. The ranger pleaded veiy hard for "another chance." He had been brought to go oai to the road by reading pernicious literature. ' What literature ?" asked the magistrate. " 'Robbery Under Arms' and — T stuck up a coach just the same as Captain Starlight would have done." That man got it hot' Why not make Banjo Patterson Poet Laureate? lam sure his latest poem about the Australian drought is more understandable than that absurd thing that Austin recently wrote. By the wav, read Austin's "Tale of True Love" or the "Burnt Beefsteak of Boglev Bottom" (either titlei equally applicable). If poor Lord Tennyson is able to observe the fearsome Austin hacking his Avay towards a. peerage at the point of a totally inept pen, he will surely weep Touching poetry, here is "Banjo's" latest — "It's grand to be a squatter, And sit upon a post, And watch the little ewes and lambs Giving up the ghost." That is what comes to a man when he has so many staling columns of blank newspaper to fill/ That's "Ban~|o's" position.

Ib is delightful to know that provisions are to be made to obviate accidents to persons from motor cars. If you have a motor oar, you must have a. certificate. It would not be a bad line to get the motor cars before getting laws regulating them. Have you experienced much inconvenience from these modern vehicles in the streets of Wellington ? • * • Oneoftlie Seventh Contingent troopers the other day got a tremendous reception at his native village. The mayor of a neighbouring town remarked that it v, a,s men of the stamp of our young friend who made history. He ventured to say that he had manfully ' done his share at Bothasberg." ft was not until afterwards that the trooper informed his bosom friends that he had been in charge of the "swags" at Capetown for eight months. • * • C'hnstchurch girls, on a visit to Wellington, are not letting any opportunities slip of advertising the fact. I have noticed several more or less peachy cheeked damsiels, with lage gold letters "Christchurch" on their hatbands. It is a well-known fact that Christohurch girls, while at home, despair of annexing the transient male. Of course, you have noticed that girls from other towns make periodical raids, and scoop the best matrimonial plums. Men are always looking for fresh faces* and Christohurch on a hat lets them know that the beauty under it is perfectly fresh. • * » Latest about ping-pong is that Lolney Hatch, the premier lunatic asylum of London, has a ping-pong ward where celluloid maniacs are interned pending the dying-out of the disease. Interesting to know that one London firm, which had a stock of 50,000 000 pmg-pong balk have melted them down to be made into other articles. If the disease had held its sway much longer it would have had a separate cable heading soon, like our distinguished guest the plague. "ISo fresh cases of pmg-pong reported to-day" would cause a sigh of relief to go up.

" Wet Paint " we often see about, And wisely keep our distance ; Advice like that is good no doubt, And valuable asistance. But theie's one thing more precious still Of that you can make sure, By driving off your rough or chill With Woods' Geeat Peppermint Cure.

Win .nul oil \\h\ is it noce,ssai\ ten spin s to he woni at <i mihtfii\ ball' J Men usualh the most thoughtful ot cieatmes do not seem able to sacnhco — then \aiiit\ is it - and Jca\ c oft those \om uimecossaM and woetulU out ot place article- of dross The result is toaisai.d "Hashing ot tooth when, next morning a frock of lace, at a guinea a--\aid ,\])(\ « in 11 poiliaps ton the hist time i* in tatters Isn't theie a hainiloss \aiieU ot spurs toi o\ 0111112; \\oai u It will simpK come to this that instead of the GaiiiMm Ball being the piottiest and bcst-di ossocl (Tills will think the mattei o\ ci and ond h\ weai 1112. something substantial and lei\e the diea'ii of a chess" foi s O mo otliei occasion when business spins do ivot ha\e to be lockonod with T am sine tin nn'\ notue th(^ tret aie looks of suspicion and no one minds w bethel hei paitnei belones to oa\ah\ 01 mfantn is lonf as he fin dance The eno-aqeinent his been announced of Mi Fiank Phillpotts The Wildeine'.'- Kmn.iko to Miss Riehaids ot "D ni"(>\ n ke The Heiotauima Mounted Rifles an holdiii" then annual baU at the Dnnds' T-lall o-i Tuosda\ TuX 22nd The dance held m Spillei's Ball on Woduovda\ ( >t"'i mstant undei the ,ium)K("> of the Maii'-t Old Bo\ s' Association was a most eii)o\ablo function One and all se emed toonio\ themseh es The hall was Hist oomfortibh filled for da'uincr ulurh was kent ud till thoeai1\ houi^ of n<\t moining: Tlu-ma^teis of ceieinonie'- (Messis P J Tuohdl .Ta- and H McKeowen) weio indef.itiqable in their efforts to make (■mom one emov thom^eh (>s and leave no w ill-flow oi s AJi-, W\ho ga\ea \eiv eu]o\able At Home on Satuidav atteinoon The chaw mg-room and dininc,-iooin weie both piottih dccoiatod with dairies and loiK.uils and looked bnelit and ( os\ Pinsi-pong and othei games woie v\c\\ocl and some yen nice music was onjo\ed Tea was handed lound to the auests and Ih 1 - W\he who is a dial nuns: ho.stes^ was assisted h\ Mi, Deir\ and ihs Mac a i tin The Misses "\V\he and Robertson wlio weio in eh iiv>e ot the department looked \oM I ~dalnt^ in w lute silk flocks Our hostess locened in a smart ro\al blue hock, with a cst of soft white chiffon and collar of point laco Mis W Watson stvhsh black skirt sealskin jacket and smart toque Mis Napioi (Auckland) dark costume sable cape and extiemch piett\ hat ot burnt-straw, tiimmed with black Mi^ M,icmto-h woic all black, with a white ovpio\ ii hei togne Mrs D T Stuart a daik brown costume sealskin roit ,ii-(l coHai of Chinchilla fui Mr'- Biid<>o lot coit and skirt cioam satin \ o<-t and hat to m itch Mis Hales looked woll in a gown of piune-colouied cloth tiimmed w.tli fui and laco and hat of the same shade diaped with lace Mis (' Tiinahain wote .i smart black skirt, pale blue blouse en ci which was worn a sealskin coatee Mis T G Macarthv woio a rose-coloured skirt, and met^ cioam silk and chiffon blouse with i minings of black bebe nbbon and a pink hat Mis Pern a handsome lose pmk blouso much tucked and trimmed witli laco dark skirt and picture hat Mrs Van Slvke looked nice in a seal coat black skirt and stilish boat-shaped hat, with wallflowers and Irish lace Miss Waibuiton. smart costume of black cloth cieam fiont and hat with tiDs Mrs Cruiekshanks ion handsome black costume muchly trimmed with point lace and hat to match and several otliei s * * * Mis Steven' on entertained a numboi of h lends on Monday afternoon befoie leai in nr foi Auckland Miss Rinewood who has boon foi a six months' \ isit to Rotorua and Auckland has i etui nod to Wellington » • • Mi-, (' .T Johnston gave a laigeand en lovable At Home on Monda\ afteiiinon last JS- -ft -t Miss Macassev (Runedm) is as piesent staving in Wellington Miss Flood (Kngland) is the guest of Mis X J Riddiford, the Hutt The engagement ls anaiotinced of Miss Ruby HaJibv well -known in musical circles m Nelson to Mr E C Robinson, of the Roads and Budges Pepai tmont Wellington

THE MAYORS OF THE FOUR BIG CITIES.