All Sports Of People

Free Lance, Volume III, Issue 106, 12 July 1902, Page 3

All Sports Of People

THE "Conference of delegates of the Farmers' Unions of the colony, which sat in Wellington during a portion of last and also this week, might very well have been called the Parliament of Farmers. They took their business very seriously — so seriously, in fact, that Mr. Recce, of Rangiora, had to remind them at. one stage of the proceedings that they were not legislators, but merely advisers. Still, there were the makings of many a legislator in that gathering, and it is not beyond the bounds of the possible that some erf those same delegates will be called up higher when the general election is concluded at the end of the year. As is well known, the president of the Conference, Mr. J. GWilson, is familiar with the sweets of a seat in the House of Representatives. For a number of years he sat for the Foxton and Otaki seats, and was an ardent member of the Opposition. Mr. Wilson, like his old friend, Captain Sir William Russell, is one of the most gentlemanly of politicians, and made an ideal chairman of the Conference He knew as much about the rules of debate as he did about land laws and fanning — and he is a practical and successful f aimer, with a run out Bulls wav ¥ - ~ Mr. M. M. Kirkbride, who occupied the chair during the first day's sitting hails from Onehunga. He is provincial president for the Union. He is a hard-headed level-headed lonp-limb-ed farmer, who has tilled the soil to some purpose from his youth up. As a chairman, he had an all-too-tender weakness for a debater who wanted "to add Hist one more word." The Taranaki trio — Messrs. "Alphabetical" Astbury (D.L.A.A.), C. Leech, and J. Parlane— made a lively team, which was in the habit of breaking out unexpectedly with an energetic protest from the northern corner of the room in the Museum Building, in which the Conference sat. Mr. Leech hung on to his side of a question like that fond, haunting namesake of his, and none of the three were to be caught napping. It was remarkable that there was not a Wellington oity man in the convention. Herbert Richards, of Te Horo, was at one time a resident here, but gave up city life to take up farming, and is fast coming up as an orehardast. He was not an habitual talker at the Conference, but when he spoke he was listened to, for he always had a sensible suggestion to make. j- t- *■ Mr. D. Peat, of Wanganui was one of the quietest delegates in attendance. But he is a shrewd man, an ex-president of the Wellington Executive Council, and a man well off in tins world's goods both in lands and business investments. Hawke's Bay sent the talker of the Conference in Mr. M. Tansey, of Dannevirkp. who had a wholesome dread of New Zealand becoming as badly off with regard to landlordism as his place of birth (Ireland). The iniustices of Ireland afforded him many illustrations for his frequent utterances, but he was bv no means M. T of other quotations • • ♦ Pahiatua. in a neighbourly spirit sent a rival for Dannevirke's elect in Mr. R Smith. It is remarkable that whenever Mr. Smith's name is mentioned

among iarmers, the question asked is — What Smith . has, he had anything to do with kilts?" For, Smith, of Pahiatua, and his kilts were at one time inseparable. Quite a different stamp ot speaker was Mr. J. McQueen, Southland's sole delegate Extremely conservative in his views, Mr. McQueen \s at, generally found in opposition to the popular views enunciated in the debates. He had a particularly strong objection to the labour laws of the colony generally and the Arbitration Couit especially. He stood alone in the convention in his advocacy of the abolition of this Court. Mr. McQueen is the uncle of the Parliamentary elect of Mataura, Mr. R. McNab who is spoken of as the coming Minister of Lands. Uncle and nephew, it is said, are the principal proprietors of the Southland Freezing and Export Company a company which is doing a flourishing business. North Canterbury sent two ot the brainiest delegates to the convention, in the persons of Messrs. G W. Leadley, of Ashburton, and H F. Recce of Rangiora. Like Messrs McQueen and Peat both the North Canterbury men are financially interested in the frozen meat business. Mr. Leadley, who was honoured with the national vice-presi-dency of the Union, is a man of much natural ability and he has earned the title of "the father of the Farmers Union in the South Island," and he is very proud of it. His colleague, who is the young brother of the ex-mayor of Christchurch does not hide the fact that he is ambitious to spend his winters in Wellington, for he. whispered, m his melodious voice, to the Conference, one afternoon that he intended contesting the seat in Parliament in his district in December next. Mr. W. H. Beetham. of the New Zealand Farmers' Union, u- a bold man He aims a blow at the veiy framework of New Zealand society, and all that goit of thing, by characterising cooperative labour as "a wasteful and abominable method of doing things." He believes that with reasonable hustling, the Government obtain at least five shillings^ orth of work for a pound, and quite a number of people believe Mi. Beethams computation is rather high. Naturally, any unfortunate who is pushed out of a billet by a man ten years his iunior and ten shillings cheaper considers he has a right to cooperative employ It does not matter that he cannot do the work Co-opera-tive work is a charitable institution, and efficiency and speed do not enter into the question. Viewed in that light co-operative labour is a boon and a blessing, and Mr. Beetham really chould be careful in advocating more businesslike methods * * * They have not yet quit worrying about Jimmy Tyson's wealth over in Australia. A Mr. John Wil. de Browne has cropped up, and he says he spends Ms time in Scotland, and is a citazen ot Thessalonica, Jerusalem, and Nazareth. He asks the trustee® of the Tyson estate to kindly hand over the residue to him so that he may at onoe start in to rebuild the temple at Jerusalem. Shades of Jimmy, the rough-and-ready shepherd the unlettered owner of a thousand ' flocks i Pity Mr. De Browne could not be ushered into the presence of Jimmy himself when that noted character was fully prepared to deal with seekers after unearned wealth. Mr. De Browne would take the first tram back to Thessalonioa you may depend. Mr Browne says that he has closely studied Scripture, and it clearly points out there that he is the beneficiaire under the will of the wealthy defunct He cannot produce any witnesses, and so it is supposed Mr. Tyson's legatees will go on spending the gains that Mr. De Browne ought to have, but cannot get.

Mr. J H Witherord, M.H.R. for Auckland, is proud of the fact that he was for many years a journalist, before he found fame and fortune in goldmining transactions, and he celebrates his ioy by an annual dinner to the scribes of" the Pi ess Gallery. He has declared his intention of keeping up this "fixture" whether he is a member of Parliament or not, though present indications are that he will have an easy task in securing re-election in December next At the dinner, to which he invited the ''recording angels" last Friday evening, Mr. Witheford made an excellent host. Mr. A E. Cohen, president of the Gallery, was in the viceohair, and Mr. Witheford was supported on the right and left by Sir Joseph Ward, Acting Premier Mr. Kennedy, a representative of the London ''Daily Mail," now on a visit to Wellington Mr. R. A. Loughnan, and Mr. J. L. Kelly, the editor of the "New Zealand Times." Reminiscence was the order of the day, or evening, and Mr. Kelly having told of the marvellous happenings that Mr. Witheford used to record when they were both connected with the Auckland "Star"— including the diseoverv of a hve "taniwha" in the Waikato — Mr. Witheford launched out into tales of strange things he had seen when on a recent visit to Paris- His account of an Anarchist meeting which he attended, and from which he had to beat a retreat when revolvers were produced and butchers knives flourished in his face, was blood-curdling in its realism, w hile the story of his "rencontre" with a gendarme was excruciatingly funny. As the narrator -justly remarked, if he had reported those things to a newspaper he would not have been believed Sir Joseph Ward, at the gathering above referred to, came out in the character of a journalist, and his reminiscences illustrated his. ve.rsatile gifts and lias readiness of resource. When little more than a boy, he said, he was assistant correspondent to two rival Inveroargill papers. Sir (then plain Mister) Dillon Bell was to give a political address m the district, and the budding Acting-Premier was told off to report it, his chief being otherwise engaged. Anticipating an important speech, young Ward employed an alleged shorthand reporten to do the job, but, at the last moment, he* discovered that this assistant of an assistant reporter was not competent — in fact, could not write shorthand at all. Here was a dilemma, but "J. G." was not to be beaten. He interviewed Mr. Bell, after the address, got from him copious 1 notes of his speech, and sent off to the paper a report for which he received, in due course, a cheque for two guineas. It might almost go without saying that Sir Joseph's recital was highly entertaining to the scribes present, who were glad to hail him as one of themselves. + * * Mr. W. J. Culver carries a world of care upon his bent shoulders, as becomes the secretary of the Liberal and Labour Federation of New Zealand, Which has Premier Seddon for its president. Any man who can bear without stooping that recently-constructed column of criticism which the "Post" built upon the subscription-collecting system of the Federation must be a Hercules. Mr. Culver is not a Hercules, but he is a Mercury. Like his predecessor in the secretaryship (tlw late Mr. Edwards), he hails from the far North, and was employed as a clerk in the head office of the Labour Department. Mr. Culver is so enthusiastic an admirer of his political chief, that he had his latest-born christened "Richard John Seddon Culver." Poor boy ' Supposing he should grow up to be a follower of John Duthie? What a name he would have to go to a poll with'

Constable Timothy O'Rourke, who has become more than ever important in the Otaki district through the Drake case, has the richest "brogue" of any son of Erin in the colony. A stranger who wandered into the Otaki Courtroom would think that the local representative of the O'Rourke family had just landed from the Ould Sod. As a matter of fact, Timothy — who is fine, and large and handsome — has been arrowing grey-headed in service in Otaki. He is the autocrat of the district., and his autocracy is enjoyed by the Maoris particularly. Constable Tim is not very often seen in his uniform hut he "out them all on" last Wednesday in honour of the special occasion of the heaiing of the charge against Mrs. Drake. » * • Although the leisured folks of the township were packed like sardines in a tin in the small space of the Courtroom set apart for the public, their conduct throughout the day was exemplary. Only once during the morning sitting was a titter raised by a giggling young Maori girl. Immediately, the rich "brogue" of Constable Tim interrupted the questioning of Inspector Ellison— "Soilanoe!" it cried. "Soilance there, in the Ooourt, ar O'ill clear ye a-all out!" A short pause followed, and then, as though it came as an afterthought. ORourke looked up at the bench upon which Mr. Greenfield so quietly sat, and cried, "By order ay t' Coourt 1 " So quaintly did this compliment to the Bench come that Lawyer Skerrett had some difficulty in keeping his features straight, as he murmured, under his breath — "Well done, O'Rourke 1 " # Professor J. W. Gregory is probably the greatest authority on earthquakes existing, if we except Mr. McKay, the New Zealand Government Geologist. He says New Zealand may expect to have a short and lively geological life, and that there is no telling when the thin crust of these islands, will collapse, and make the lands for settlement policy unnecessary. The professor evidently believes that next week or a million years hence, or any time that New Zealand is ready, she will not go up, "a la Pelee," but down under. What a surprise for the Home boats to come out and find nothing to make a line fast to! Yea, vexily, the inhabitants of these isles have a bad time in store in another aeon of ears or so. » * * Sir F. G. Clarke, the Governor of Victoria, is a born humourist. He told the people, at a religious gathering, the other day, that if '•everybody spoke what wias absolutely true, the world would be full of happiness." There now! The good people who advertise would start by at once publishing the fact that their soaip and aloes globules were worth at least lid a box, and that the box oost a good deal more than the pills. "Twelve large bottles of our medicine will reduce you to a physical wreck in six months," would be another unpleasant sample of the virtue of truth. "Have you any fresh lamb? the housewife might ask the truthful butcher, and he would reply : "No, but I have some small-boned, brokenmouthed wethers, and have blown redhot dripping all over them to make 'em look young." Or again, the draper might, on inquiries for some of those articles at "half cost price," reply that, as it is sale time, you are permitted to take tihe three-year-old hat for ten per cent, in advance of what you would pay at other seasons of the year. Imagine telling the truth about Governors, and Ministers, and people in hisrh places generally? "Yes, you cost us a good few thousands- a year, and you're merely ornamental, and a wooden man would fill the bill just as well. You don't mind us saying it?" Happiness under a truth regime would be overwhelming!

Mr. James Kouin, who ainved horn London by the Delphic recently, is a popular \ isitoi along the West Coast of tins Island. The shoit and chubby gentleman lepiesents the Christmas wholesale him of Manchester and London, and, appropriate to his firm-namesake, he ' Comes but once a year." But he is ''all business" whilst out here, and takes his leave with a fat pocket-book full of bookings of butter and cheese, which the Taranaki and Wanganui factories have undertaken to send Home during the dairying season. His orders now run into hundreds of thousands of pounds in weight pei season, and he eives our dairymen good prices. It is a round dozen of years since Mr. Kow in discovered Taranaki as a field of butter-pats, and every year he has made the journey from and to London to pay his respects and his cheques to the farmers. * * * When the ach ance agent for Christ - mas--Jam.es would pass very well for Father C. himself— steps on to the Queen's Wharf, he takes the step in as unconcerned a manner as a resident at Muntai steps off the ferry boat on its dailv voyage. Then, the cheerful James hies him to the Empire Hotel, nods to the clerk, as he cadis out, "Hello, Mr. Kowin, back agaan' says he will be in town for the day, and will go on to Waitara next morning, and straightway gets into town. Me does not inquire whether the Manawatu train is still running, he does not ask whether Mr. Aitken is still mayor, he does not even want to know it the horse-cars are still running along Wil-lis-street * * * No James Ko-vun just walks round to "David Nathan, and exclaims, "What, not pot rid of that cold yet'" drops in on Mr. McEwen with the remark, "How's butter fat' You're looking iust about the same yourself nods to a man he had met years before somewhere up Waitara wav and, generally the newly-arrived Londoner presents a card bearing the legend "James Kowin, Waitara." * *• * Mr. Arthur Drake, whose wife was on trial for her treatement of her eight-year-old daughter, Dorothy Drake, at Otaki, the other day, is a member of a family wellknown throughout the Manawatu and Wellington country districts. "Old mam" Drake, the head of the family, some time deceased, settled in the early days in the Johnson ville district, and waxed prosperous as a landowner. He, had a fairly numerous family,, the members of which have settled themselves m various parts of the West Coast. Drake pere gave a good slice of his land to the Manawatu Company for the purposes of the construction of its railway, and the Government later on purchased another slice for closer settlement purposes for workmen Arthur Drake settled on a sheep run close to Otaki quite a long time ago, and has been doing very well there. • • * It is definitely stated that Mr. Pirani, of Palmeraton, Mr. Hutoheson, of Wellington, and Mr. Oarncroes, of Taien, do not intend seeking a return to the House of Representatives. It has been known for some months that Mr. Pirani was likely to drop out of politics: and Mr. Huteheson had drormed a hint to the effect, that he had had enough. "Jack, the Rigger" has found that politics and business do not run well together. "A fellow cannot have two sweethearts all the time," he finds. And yet, folks ha,ve been wondering why he has so oloselv identified himself with the Tom Mann Socialist Party of laite.

Suipnse has been felt at the announcement of the chopping out of political life by Mr. Carncross. Like Mr. Pirani, he is a journalist, and, until the other day, owned the Taien " \ ocate " But he lias sold that paper, and Las purchased another up in Eltliam m the Garden of New Zealand. The journalists will regret "little Carneys" retirement from the House, for lie has been a staunch advocate of the improvement of our Libel Act. But. perhaps, he will be seen back again in Parliament, in another sphere. He has been an energetic whip for the Seddon Party, and it is hinted that he may retire to the Legislative Council when 'that tired feeling" comes over him and he wants to seek the seclusion of the Upper House. * » ♦ Aleo" Burns, who has succeeded Fred" Reeves as vice-president of the Press Gallery for the session, is one of the most popular of the colony's pressmen. He is on the staff of the United Press Association, and spends half the year at the Cable Station, at Wakapuaka (near Nelson), and the other half at Wellington. He manage® to strike the Empire City when Parliament is in session, and finds life runs by electric speed here as compared with the horsecatr speed of Cable Bay. "Alec" is one of the best-na.tured of many good-na-tured gallery-men, and will do an allnight "turn" without a wink to oblige "the other fellow." Congratulations to the Chief of the Gallery (the "Star's" star, Albert Cohen) upon again getting so highly-qualified a first lieutenant. Captain Manning's action in going promptly to the rescue of the Ellen Ballance, and making her unfortunate occupants comfortable immediately they got on board, is worthy of every commendation. But his passengers apear dissatisfied with him for taking the boat itself in tow. and losing so much of their tune in returning with her to Lyttelton. A Canerbury visitor to the Poultry Show, speaking at the annual dinner of the Wellington Society on Friday night, remarked "I do not hesitate' to say that the bally little dug-out (the Ellen Ballance) was not worth the trouble taken over her. Having got the men aboard in their wot clothes, it would have been far better to have cut her in half, and let her sink than have taken the trouble he did with her." Captain Manning, however, knows best, and, moreover, there is such, a thing as salvage money. * * *■ Mr. Pengelly, an Australian visitor, should keep right out of this country in future. He told an Adelaide audience recently that he did not admire our Premier. He then went on to admire the Premier vastly, by saying^ that he had not dragged New Zealand into "the deplorable Commonwealth curse." The man with the Cornisih name fell. South Australia, before the "Commonwealth curse" was upon it, used frequently to come to New Zealand to gather points about "our Dick's" legislation, and it

added some of our Premier's masterpieces to its statute books. South Australia still rejoices in shoes of our own advancement. It has the totalisator. It is a pity it has such a rara avis as a man who takes no tickets on Dick." -»• -A- * ' Some are born great , some become gieat. while some have greatness thrust upon them." So thought Mr. George Frost when officiating as chairman of the annual dinner of the Wellington- Poultry Society on Friday evening. A visitor from Canterbury, speaking there, remarked that such men as Mr. Frost were few and far between, but, when found, had to be reckoned with, as nothing would stop them. He had known Mr. Frost's parents in the early sixties, in Canterbury, and vouched for their being sturdy colonists of the right stamp. Young George, when an apprentice to the earpenterisg. used to supplement his earnings by selling newspapers, in order to buy books and appliances for self-improvement. On leaving his first employ, he came to Wellington, where he has made long strides 1 , equally in business and speculation, and also in the ordinary duties' of a citizen of leisure. His successful career as mayor of Melrose for nearly three yeans, the victory in the new rating system, as well as in the Greater Wellington scheme, were all due to his persistency of character, and determination to succeed and the speaker concluded by predicting a useful political career should Mr. Frost ever contemplate entering that arena. ■/■■** An old story of Sir George Grey comes fresh to hand from the lips of a member, now getting on in years. To him the remark was made many years agio, in those palmy days when the author of the terms "unearned increment." the unborn millions," and other well-remembered "Greyi&ms" was in power. The young member, meeting the veteran Premier in the lobby, showed him some specimens of a new kind of glue, made from Auckland gum, and warranted to stick fast to anything. "My young friend," said the Premier, whose colleagues were giving him some trouble through their inconsistency, "you would be conferring a great favour on my Ministers if you would attach some of your compound to their seats, as if they do not soon mend their ways I shall certainly be forced to terminate their Ministerial career." • « • Percy Spence, the one-time delineator of dainty black-and-white drawings in Sydney "Bulletin," is doing well in London whither he recently transferred himself and his pencil. The latest copies of "The Sphere" — one of the most exclusive of London weeklies — contains several full-page drawings by the Sydneysider, whose pictures are given pride of place in the front pages of that smart publication.