The Coronation Ceremony. AS DESCRIBED BY KING DICK.

Free Lance, Volume II, Issue 104, 28 June 1902, Page VI (Supplement)

The Coronation Ceremony. AS DESCRIBED BY KING DICK.

D^r Joe, ami *« «**»*». *™* f^ tM"" "***" "" TT ,1 i ,-n v<m all are Through the dazzling hall of state, Enjoying a royal cigar, With solemn ancient style Obscured in an air of gloom And I gazed around for a while. Till I felt inclined to dare. In a fit of loyal zeal, To sit in the golden chair Just to se how the thing would feel , For I felt that if ever I should. Bv Fate's supreme deciee, Become King of the South Sea Isles. Twoukl be lust the throne for me. But just as I turned to depart ("Twas a most extraordinary thing '), Who eLse should I run up against But His Majesty, Edward, the King! Well, it gave me a bit of a start; In fact, I felt dazed for an hour. For I thought that I should be consigned For the rest of my life to the Tower. But he bade me rise up from my knees, With a smile that was sweet and benign And he soon put me quite at my ease When he asked me to sample his wine. And he said "If I'm not much mistaken Ten gallant Contingents you ye led. on, And you're one of my most taxthral lieges, . _, . „ , New Zealand's great Premier, Dick Seddon."

Which you can't get for love or for Beca^STjoe. it ain't to be And 'twas given to me as a P resen * By His Highness the Dook of ConWherThe'cameto Southampton to meet Along with his swell A.D.C., Lord Onslew the Mayor, and the Sheriff, And all the* ©lit©— to see roe They, waved their bell-topwrs and" cheered us In a wild and delirious way, And HTs ffighness presented the Missus With a lovely gigantic bookay. , They shook hands with old Colonel Porter, „ And called him a great prodigy,. And they eulogised smart Captain Seddon, _ Wlio acts as my own A -. u^- . They lauded our boys m khaki, Whose, deeds all the world must adniive, And they said it was all_ due to me Who had founded the British Empire. I'm sure you'll excuse these details, Since the new cable rates are so low And you know that in matters of State That moneys no object dear Joe. Next came the disembarkation, Or rather, the landing in state— I cannot find words to describe it. The grandeur of it was so great. We rode in the royal carriage Emblazoned with silver and gold, All lined with crimson and purport's value in money untold

It was drau n by six beautiful horses A groom at the head of each one, And quite a small army of futmen, Whose livery shone like the sun. Next came the gorgeous Lite Uuardsmen None finer I ever shall see Just think of it Joe, my dear colleague That all this display vrasr— for me. You ought to have heard how they cheered us. Till I thought they were going quite silly, As we marched down St James-street in triumph, And into far-famed Piccadilly

But some of the greetings were flowery, Such as '-Richard, old man, you re a brick," . Whilst otheis bawled. 'Kapai the Maori," And a few sang out "Long Live King Diok'" , , t» i But at last we arrived at the .Palace With all its magnificent sights. No language on earth can describe it. For it beat's the Arabian Nights.

'No doubt," he continued, 'you've heaixl Of the neaca that has just been concluded, And in bringing that blessing about I should like you to tell mo what you did." Says I 'Sire, 'tis ver\ well 1-nown I am modest in all of ray dealings And to blow ray own trumpet abroad T<; a thine; unite opposed to mv feelings, But when your Most Gracious ordains To ask one so humble as T, Then nought but the truth must be told, Without e\en the ghost of a lie I submit that the pence terms are free From all \ul<jar ambition or pelf, The fact is (between ;sou and me) I framed tho^e pioposals myself.

His Majesty laughed veiv heaitv And he gave me a, poke in the ribs

And sa>s he ' You'ie a knowing old party. But, orcouise yon don't toU any nbs It's just a>% I vsaid to the Maiquis When Chamberlain mentioned your name •No doubt that gieat statesman, Dick Seddon, Is taking a hand in the game We have man> great men in the nation Whoso fame no reproaches can dim, But among the great builders of Empires . „ We've got to loam wrinkles from him. Then I bowed in mv courtliest manner, A sort of a Grecian Bend And the Gold-Stick-in-Waitine, declared That the audience «,is at an e^d

THK SECOND CABLE MESSAGE. I have told you, dear Joe, in my previous wne How they value my work for the Brifcis.h EmpLie, And now I must tell of the grand demonstration Winch took place on the day of the King's Coronation. Three millions of people paraded the streets, While two millions more were perched up on high seats. They crowded the roofs and the windows of houses, The nobs and the snobs, with their daughters and spouses — All ranks of the peerage, and every profession, To w ltne** the march of the royal procession. All ranks and conditions of motley array Assembled to witness the pageant tih'at day ; AH shades of the rainbow, all fashions and styles, From Belgarvia's mansions and slums of Seven Dials , Black, white, and brown, and every hue ; Mohammedan, Brahmin, Gentile, and Jew , In short, there were people of every degree, But no onei among 'em was greater than Me. Not even an ancient illustrious peer Could there hold a candle to New Zealand's Premier. Ten thousand bright flags streaming out in the wind ; By an army of soldiers the footpaths were lined ; Scarlet and gold, and glitter of steel, Joybells all ringing out Deal upon peal • Thunder of oannon, and beating of drums,, i And music resounding from streets and from slums. Playing "The Conquering Hero Comes. You may not, dear Joe, with my notion agree, But I couldn't help thinking they meant it for Me. I No mind can conceive, and no pen can pourtray The magnificent scene in the Abbey that As it burst on the view, I stood still and I gazed At the gorgeous spectacle, like one amazed. Princesses and princes, in splendid array, With diamonds and rubies — a dazzling display , Turquoises emeralds, opals and pearls. Worn bv the dukes, and the lords, and the earls , Crowns, coronets, royal diadems, Refulgentlv shining with thousands of gems , The peers of the realm, and the salt of the earth, On magnificent costumes ordered from Worth. Nobles and commons of every degree — But few who could rival the Missus and Me. When their Majesties entered the Abbey, Through the famous western door, They were met by the Dean and Canons Bon ing down till they touched the floor, While the choir struck un the anthem. "Te Deum LaudamuK," And the scholars loyally shouted "Vivat Rex Edwardus." Also, "Vivat. Regina'" which means ' Long live! the Queen." And nothing could be finer Than this most impressive scene. Then, m the form appointed. They sat in the golden chair The King took the oath, was anointed, And they crowned the royal pair ' Be strong and play the man," W T as sung by the choir with glee, ' But, dear Joe, I couldn't help thinking, > That they scot that idea, from Me ' Then, the Archbishop blessed the King, And he kissed him on the cheek — I supposed it was meant to imply That a sovereign ought to be meek : But I couldn't dismiss the idea Dear Joe (between me and you), That, it looked just a little bit queer And a cheeky thing to do. Then, the peers from remotest borders Of the Empire's furthest zone, In their swell Court dress and orders Did homage before the Throne. You know I am not ambitious. And I do not worship pelf, But things are looking propitious That I'll soon be a peer myself. Somehow or other the story's leaked out, From a quarter that leaves little room for a doubt, That a Governorship has been offered to me Of the Transvaal, Orange Colony, 01 else of Fiji, Or even Cook Islands, because I've i notion To found an Empire in the South Pacific Ocean 1 And you know, my dear Joe, I've ma tured a plan

Whereby I'll "be strong, and will play the man" — • Or else Old Nick, if they say me nay — In tilings where I mean to have my own way. Return to our muttons, I've been out of sorts Since I saw the great Barons of the Cinque Ports, Whose dress, if it served any purpose at all, Was the very best thing for a fancy dress ball. I prefer men in moleskins and toilstained coats — Especially, Joe, when the" give me their votes. Now. the martial music sounded, and the silver trumpet® gave A loud and lovely fanfare from the Abbey's western nave. But, speaking about trumpets I am bringing out two or three — They'll be useful in the elections for announcing you and me. In addressing the electors, we need advertise no more, But as heralds of our coming, we can. send them on before, For blowing: my own trumpet is a thing that I detest. But if someone else will do it, it is very much the best. One thi"pr I forerot to mention — A? the King walked up the aisle

He glanced in my direction, and gave me a royal smile, And I noticed the other Premiers, As out of the. Abbey I went. Looked anything but pleasant at the trifling incident. But, throughout the Coronation, as anyone could see, New Zealand stood in the front, Joe, and they put it down to Me. The illuminations were on such a scale, All attempts to describe them would certainly fail. The street® w ere wrapped in a lustrous blaze — Roman beacons and prismatic rays, Opal, ruby, amber, and green, Such a brilliant display had never been seem. But they couldn't compare for a moment, I'm sure, With our Tongariro or Rotorua, And I think, dear Joe, you'll at once agree. That much of their brilliance they owe to Me. But no description would be complete Unla«s some mention were made of the fleet., In which part of the programme, 'tis only fair To say that I took no prominent share. The point of importance not settled as vet, Is what recognition am I to get? Of course, "Baron Seddon" would sound very flash, But what is the worth of the title in cash? And as for that bauble, the K.C.M.G., It never had any attractions for Me. A "National Purse" is a very nice thing — There are far better things in the gift of the King. A seat in an Imperial Council would do, If backed bv " a liberal, permanent screw. But, whatever they offer, my first thought diall be — ■ The o-ood of the peonle who've trusted in Me