It Is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume II, Issue 102, 14 June 1902, Page 22

It Is Town Talk

That a couple named 3oom and Bmst weie in.uk' one up Nortli la.st That Tom Mann is writing, a series ot .jitidos k» RcMiolch' Newspnpei on ti.\ck's unionism m No" Zealand Tliat tliti o ha*, be-en a lumpus .it a sniaJl siilnubui bethel about a collection that m\stotiousl\ diNappe.ued Peihaps the rats took it Tli.i^ the Lite John Danks Melbourne bia.ss founde-i, and uncle ot oui own Jehu Danks died teeenth worth £10') (KM) Bwu-s pa\s - That the old game ot playing the ghost is being tued on b\ some imbeciles at LUtelton A little apphoation of tlie pump will piobablv cuie them That a well-known "commercial" lost Ins. heart, and became engaged, on his last tup down South He is already mapping out the honeymoon programme — That a Wellington family, whose daughters are hanging fire m the matrimonial majket, has had the front oages of the family Bible gummed down You see it leveails then ages That an economical Wellington parent puts a halo of luminous paint round the baby's mouth art night, so as to locate ii for food purposes It saves getting up to light the gas — That some inquisitive people have been asking why the cable message conveying the peace news was signed bv Kitchener a.nd not Dick Seddon The> forget that Dick was at =ea — That there is a growing feeling m Zealand that the £00,000 gi anted to Loid Kitchener, foi finishing the war, was gnen to the wrong man. People want to know wheie Dick comes in —That Britannia is making a big bid to rule the w aves as of yore by a combination of mercantile fleets against the Pieipont Morgan American trust. England hams her lessons fairly slowly — That the Auckland Coronation Committee aie bituig their fingeis, after spending £l"20 on coronation cards to find that the Government intend to issue free cards for the who'e colom — That Mr Da\ id Goldie will probabh stand lor one ot the Auckland Cit\ seats a,t the coming election. Won't the "Wellington Primitive Methodists be glad 5 David is always ready to fill a pulpit - That a \oung man from Oriental Bay at a lecent social, after scoring the majont\ ot points ait progressive euchre, was moitihed to find that the first prize was an enormous pumpkin. Quantity, anyway — That the lion Hall-Jones' pulpit ad\ice last Sunda\ , that "the time for action was the immediate tick of the clock " is splendid Send a letter to a Minister, and see how he acts v-> to that ad\ice — That everybody is discovering, and shouting it aJoud in print, that our fel-low-colonist, the Boer, now he is beaten, is a leal good sort There was a funeral m store for the man who said so one year since. — That one London firm has sold in the bag city alone 100,000 Seddon buttons The same firm is turning out 'leal" luua feathers at half-a-crow n Hope Dick won't hear of this trespass on our preserves. — That the most ostentatious displays of red. white, and blue on peace day, in Auckland, were made bv foreigners, and especially by Dutch and Germans The Neufohatel asphalt-rollers wore dressed like barbers' poles. — That a ouestion of pieeedence is piobablv troubling King Edward. King Dick, of New Zealand and King Lewanlka, of Barotseland are both among his guests at the Coronation New Zealandeis are backing Dick ' — That in the South, certain politicians have jumped to the conclusion that Mayor Aitken's initiation as an Oddfellow ls the first step to coming out as a Conservative candidate for a City a.t the ernd of the year That ping-pong leads to some awkward lesults Two local parsons pi a ved an exciting game the other night, and then indulged in some unpleasant recriminations about the score tally. The guests have been talking about it. — That the merciful German, who raised such am awful hullaballoo while nelting mud at Tommy Atkins, has just been showing us how tender-hearted he is himself. Cabled that a German expedition slaughtered 200 natives at Neu Britain, in revenge for the Wolff murder.

— Tha,t John Bull desen es a holiday after Ins Ions; innings m South Africa Tluit London is ago" nuh expectation. London welcomes Ow Dick on Satin d<i\ - That wueless tologiaphv Mill sa\ c nine li tune if a niessengoi-bo\ loss de\ico foi delivering te'egrains i<> instituted — -That a ceitain bike-ti a\ (>lloi to lia\e lost Ins heart to a s-uhiuhan belle Did he mention he Mas mained u Tliat at the C hnstehuicli R C. C'ainnaJ the othoi d^ , Bishop Gnmes chew apn/e in a lottei \ It Mas a r» cwlJe ' That estimable citi/son.s die at pie^ent wondenr.g how their piam .sin names m iIJ look \.ith a coronation lion our prefixed. That ex-Inspectoi Pondei lias not accepted tiho offei of an official position tendeied to him duimq; Ins recent \ lsit to Chi istchuieh -That use'iv ot postage sta.nps issued bv the Now Zealand Government will be pleased to heaa that gum can be boatrht at fiom Id a bottle upwards - That aIJ tlie foreign Consuls in Auckland belong to the Chosen People Auckland belongs to them also They aie going to call it the New Jerusalem. -That a New town church congiega.tion aiie at daggeis diawn as to who are t.he pio]>ei pei son', to take round the collection plate The\ even held a meeting about it — Tliat. a certain resident of Wellington hoisted, and kept aloft, the Boer "veikleui" during the peace celebiations, and not a person said him nay. Wherefore this un -British conduct q — That seveiaJ football clubs— not in Wellington — have recently dismissed members for using offensi\ c language Wonder why it is that people must cur.se when the\ are enjoying themselves 3 -That the abseat-minded lolunteei officer who hastiJv diessed himself in mufti aitei dull the other night, and went down town in his helmet, l.s not being allowed to foiget it b\ his fellowofficeis — Tliat <in erstwhile tioopei of New Zealand's Second Contingent is Superintendent of Police at Proton a at £800 a-veai , cjuaiteis, and rations. He formerly drove a timbei waggon at Uppei Thames. - -Tliat the 'wea:ing of the gieen" eve-shade is piettv fashionable now Peace celebrations and bluestoue beei the cause Coronation time should boom liniments and cause chemists to smile — That the forget and foigne" idea did not seem to woik out in the case of the Pretoria Boer plotter*, who planned to blow their dear fnend Loid Kitchenei and the Go^ eminent buildings into the air — That a local chemist is displa\ ing a placaid recommending a specific for what he calls, 'mal-de-tram " It is the same old thing lie recommends for seasickness, but it is just as necessary on the cars as at sea — That Nature must ha\e been m a eviuoal mood when she ovei whelmed a town in Martinique whilst the people were attending thanksgiving service, and contrived that a negro murderer should be the only survivoi — That it is tolerably certain tliat no local milk vendor uses watei to "blend" his milk, but it's not at all certain that some of them should not use more water, soap, and chloiide oi lime round the haunts of the milk pan. That, if the project to liberate a number of prisoners for the Coionation comes to anything, the authonties might let them out before the 20th, so that they may mingle with the crowd and earn a moie or less honest penny. —That the public will feel lelieved to know tliat then lepresentatives, the local Licensing Committee, are satisfied that the •"trade" is carried on in all icspects a& it should be. The public however, are not so perfectly satisfied. — Thas a certain seed mei chant would not give his clerical staff — five chanmng young ladies^ — a holiday on Monday week to celebrate the declaiation of peace And that their young men banged on the shutte-i's to know the ieason why. — That the New town wing of the Salvation Army has a shilling in the slot gas meter in its bariaeks, and when theimmediate supply is exhausted "will some kind friend be good enough to drop another shilling in?" The dark intervals are deservedly popular and leciuits are numerous. — That Wellington Catholics were va.stJv amused by the cable message in Tuesday's "Times " telling them tliat Cardinal Vaughan preached a thanksgiving sermon ''in Dr. Parker* City Temple on June Bth " Shall the lion he down with the lamb 01 Bishop Wallis hold forth in the Jewish Synagogue 5 Nay. not so.