It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume II, Issue 88, 8 March 1902, Page 22

It is Town Talk

—That the man m the us;ht otton gets left in tins woild. —That the emematogiaph show in an auction loom gieatK tickled the C hma men Then aie still asking What foi ' J " —That almost without exception, the new Js.P have passed the third standard Things in the justice line should look up. —That a Giewnouth banbei has daiscontinued the use of German razors in his establishment Now then. K.M., that oucular of \ours —That Tom Mann did not accept the proposals of the Much-Tiavel eel and therefore the lectuung tour of Austiaha is 'off" for the preseent. —That, in a recent tram collision no great damage was done to tnt dfmng ea" It w surmised the sandwich depaitmeut broke the shock. —That you can't beat the Yankee advertiser. One of them has just started out to boom a new variety ot Uyer pi IK He calls them "Pc Wet's Little Eailv Risers " — Thait the Wakanui's passengeis say they want no brimstone m the world to come. Tliev got moie than enough ot it from Di . Valintme in the fumigation last week. —That at the instigation of a local wao- a fourth standaid geography has bemi forwarded to a Wairarapa daily which published the information that Oamdim was in Canterbury. That every cheer given for New Zealand in the House of Commons iecent.lv over the Bothasberg victory, is worth more than thousands of pounds epent in advertisement That a Dunedin misdoer, who was recently reminded that he was 'up" for the fifty-fourth time, advanced as a reason that he had resided in that city for forty years. Compliment ary —That, according to a visiting 'bushwhacker," some hotels up Masterton way are gaining an unenviable notoriety for the ancient publican's pastime of lambing-dow n cheque-makers from the bush That, when the Thames bianeh ot the H'army marches forth to wai it beats the drum with a tweiitv-stcne female drummei. Would like to see tine mere man who would question her home rule. —That the boys ot the New Zealand Seventh pi awed 'an inter-island football match on Louis Botha's taim at Paul Pietarsburg, several months ago The North Island beat the South bj six points to ml. That a local barmaid scornfully refused the proposal the twentv-hve guinea ring of the 1 youthful son of a local magnate lastJlwteeiaic The Johnny proposed a, secret marriage lest mamma should be displeased. —That a West Gadsfteir&coiie pound above the minimum .weight for the Ninth, "sweated" tfia£tmieVravordupois in one- day, without any help from the authorities. He is |W[ dulrt qualified soldier of the King nolw/.l ,r~\ —That the NewtowjOTJirnaishpi. whose darling boy sw allow ej&ilSf oi'hreepenny piece on Friday last, didn't send ip,r the doctor. She said •'t*Re^Sft\dbi^rmy could get money out.W^vßpfiv 19 ' and sent round for its captain 3 / 11 — That considerable discord w as introduced into a church service up Woodville wav the other Sunday. The preacher made remarks, and touched on certain local happenings which led to contention in the sanctuary . — That a local schoolboy, who had been reading about Dr. Valintme and his Wakanui lancet campaign, told his Sunday school teachei that Moses was hidden in the bulrushes so's he wouldn't have to be vaccinated " — That, judging from the 'puise of sovereigns" controversy, the morals of the people ha\ c gone up .30 per cent recently, and it w ould be a difficult matter to thrust a purse of sovereigns on many persons who have never been suspected of unselfishness before — That a well-known quill-drivei in the Big Buildings, has lust changed his diggings" because he was tieated as one of the family. He says the landlady got into the habit of calling him an "old fool" iust as often a>s she did her husband. —That ' the flannelled fools" of Wellington are dead oft Rudvard Kipling since that dyspeptic poem of his, ' The Islanders," came out. As for the "muddied oafs" between the goals — w ell they proudly point to Haidham, V.C., and a«k ''What price football 0 "

— -That, judging horn police couit <u\nals, picturesque language in public places is painful and hequent and tieo just now —That the Hon James Can oil has gone to Jeiusalem. Tins is not a pious pilgrimage, but a Ministerial \ lsit No news from Jericho. --That a Wairarapa Weslevan cleig\maii lecenth chose as a subject foi a sermon "The safety or tootpunts 01 the best place to feed the kids " -That a tone of legiet peivaded the Trentham rifle range when Range-officei Lieutenant Tone uas called back to Wellington on urgent business — -That Paradise, at the head of Lake Wakatipu, is on the boom as a hone\moon resort. The oannv Scot who ga\e it that, name had a.n eye to business -That the Happy Valley creek must be a happy sort of place, if Mayor Frost is correct m saving half the people of Brooklyn are draining into it. Aiahy the Blest is simply not in it w ith Happy Valley — That it is not a punishable offence to put watei in butter if you say on the package it is "blended " Some^ of the punevors of "blended" milk in Wellington should name the fact on then milk-cans —-That, a.s sovereigns aie plentiful just now , might not a purse be raised for the afflicted reJativevs of the New Zealand slain m that last bloody fight with the Boers ? — That, over on the "othei side" they have found a distinguishing name foi the Coronation invites to the State Premiers They call them 'Happen to be there" invitations. — That vaudeville still triumphs ' Madame Lottv. the living piece of sculpture, now showing for Harry Rickards, is the model for a statue on order to the F ed'er a.l Go've rnmen t . — That the "Ping-Pong" adepts of Wellington are in hea.vy training ]ust now in preparation for that suggested tournament The click of the celluloid is in the. air. —That tlhe hitherto tolerated nfle club men show , by then position on the Trentham aggregate list, that foil defence, purposes they are well ahead of t h ear bi others of the khaki. — That Wellington might well take a leaf out of Dunedm's book once raoie and decade, as that city is doing, to erect an epidemic hospital to cope with a.m possible outbreak of infectious disease That Sir Wilfrid Law son, the gie-at prohibitionist, has a pretty wit. He lecentlv bought a publiohouse called "The Fox." He turned it into a, coffee tavern, and has now le-opened it undei tlie name of The Fox with its Teeth Draw n " — That an absurd Southern ftducation Board is annoyed and saicastic because the Education Department at Wellington took fourteen months to answei a letter It is obvious that Board does not undeistamd the care exercised m this city bv that department. — That, fortunately, New Zealand people, unlike their Australian cousins,, have not allowed matters samtan to lapse since the last plague seaie, and that Wellington, thanks to- the Health Department, is cleaner now (with exceptions) than ever before — That the burgling fraternity still goes a burgling undisturbed. Masterton, Featherston, and Stratford had simultaneous cases recently. The police entertain the hope that the £13 the burglars got may be uniucln . "Splendid force the police'" — That Mr. John Young ought to be invited, to let the public know just a little more about the wav in w Inch things are done at the Education Board. Just fancy paying a person's travelling expenses twice over for ten years and saying nothing about it. — That the grave charges levelled agaanst the Government of ill-ti eating the paralytic soldier Davidson by taking no notice of him when he returned, turns out, as is frequently the case in similar charges, to be mere literary hysteria on the part, ot a newspaper person. — That Mr Haw trey's little gags" on the last night of his comedy company about 'complaining to Mr Rich the hotel manager," ie the goings-on of Dick Tom, and Harry, seemed to tickle the newly-arrived Thespians m the dress enele aJI right There was a fie»sh peal of laughter at even salh — That the case of the destitute children now on the hands of the Benevolent. Trustees ought, to make our Wai Office very chary of sending aw ay an\ more maaried patriots to fight the Boers in South Africa Let them stay at home and keep the wolf from the dooi in New Zealand. — That, at the Woiking Men's Club picnic at Day's Bay, on, Saturday, a most interesting discussion by a young couple "m camera" (good snap-shot, teo 1 ) resulted in the conclusion that the minimum wage of a carpenter could be made to buy necessities for two although it n a L s considered insufficient before for one.