It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume II, Issue 85, 15 February 1902, Page 22

It is Town Talk

That when the Cheviot schoo s ieopencd not a single child turned up Fixate chnnnovs the cause Tint K M. Smith and Tom Mann haw shaken hands Should be a .strong doublo -non king and engineei. —That it is easy enough to In e m a slum .„ the Kmp.ro City if you pay 30 pei cent, inteiest on the value of it foi the pnwlege. —That a Neu Plymouth man bought the Giand Hotel in Auckland last week and sold it again « ithin a feu days at a tidv pioht -That a local parson's marrvmg record is four couples in a tiuartei of an houi , or, as a yachting friend puts it 'Four knots an hour." —That punctuality is an unknown quantity in Cheviot now The inhabitants have got into the habit of 'waiting until the earthquake is over. — That an Amenoan lady's latest fad is a tear of violinist Paderewski, enshimed in a locket Is it a part of great people's talent to weep to ordei -That a loyalist, who had a hoiso that he wouldn't lend to anyone but anenemv"thiee wars ago has just sold it for a good lound sum for \iar purposes -That the wtomg of Tatteisall m Australia will save New Zealand more than £100,000 a year. Much of the monev invested in these sweeps came fior this colom That if the Government is not ashamed 'of itself for encouraging viticultuie and wine-makmg, it should be The piohibitionists aie aheadv putting on then wai paint. —That Captain M H R Heaton Rhodes is a eallant officei He has spent quite a heap of monev on Contingents and he didn't care a twopence about the sixty pounds rise That, it's veiv kind of the hotelkeepers to erect those nice fire escapes but it's not a bit considerate of the men building them to drop portions of bricks upon unoffending pedestrians — That a local photographer explains that the reason win the aveiage actor is photographed with his head on his hand is that that organ is generally so swelled that it needs support --That an Oamaru lady has completed a rug made of 20,000 rabbits' tails There is a, reward of £20,000 offered for a method of eradicating the pest The ladv should applv for it — That the poor landlords of Wellington are hereby recommended to get the price of paint reduced. Can't expect the noble benefactors to paint houses nn ,i 3.1 per cent return, can you now 5 — That, already German pianoforte makers are sending shiploads of pianos to England without names. The English brand is put on in London before the instruments are shipped to the colo-nie-s — That the United States army is abolishing the u<-e of the sword. For the peace of mmd of amateur New Zealand swashbuckleis it is to be hoped that our army will not follow the example — That Methueu's column has added glory to Butish arms Aftei puisumg the enemy all one night (in a circle) they succeeded in capturing their own convoy Want some New Zealand guides — That a son of Charles Dickens is leeenth dead in Australia. Was M P police inspector etc., there, but will be remebered better m New Zealand as agent for sewing machines Like father like son ? — That a Masterton old lad\ is endeavouring to live on an old age pension Her brothers are engaged in a hopeless struggle with existence with only £100,000 to do it on. The old ladv might help you brothers' --That King Dick" is breaking up He finds that, aftei travelling by train and steamei , speaking everywheie, sending troops awav, and getting no sleep he is unable to work for more than forty-eight hours at a stretch — That the ciowd of Kelburne tram opening-day spectators are collectively of opinion that toboegans should have beetfi issued to them to help them negotiate the homeward journey when the cable "stripped" and the car wouldn't "gee." — That Mi Jelhcoe has returned to work like, a giant refreshed. He remarked m Court the othei da\ that no person with an intelligent mind would sav that a question put bv him was not a proper one. And His Worclii'tA morln It ,ctn tn fit rm i\\P- PIT!

--That according to a, Wellington SuntLn school scholar a centurion is a cliap what rules a, hunched miles on a hike " - That a voung Teirate lady, lecenth engaged, likes liei loner's present better than his past It lias a hue diamond in it. —That Tom Mann nariowly escaped captuie bj Fitzgerald's cncus people Other "lions," however are doing Ins "turn " and oui gam is Fitz s loss. - -That up to now, theie aie only oOO out ot tho total strength of 1000 men who want to be officers in the- Ninth What a lot ot fuends Ms.H.R must have! —That a lecent distinguished visitoi did not see a single besrgai in New Zealand in six weeks But he wasn t in the Piemiei's office dining billet-hunt-liouis —That m time of trouble, the female khakhero is going to help 'man" oui kopies A ladv at Gore locentlv won a rifle match against a well-known male nfle shot. -That a swaithv gentleman is "doin-" a cheap line, in jugs at Pic&errt. New town people have wondcied whv the familv milk jug has vanished during the ni"ht. -That one of Welhnston's mysteries is. that an article of common household use made m America should cost (>s bd less in one shop than in another thiee doois up the street. That the trams aic not duite so o\eiciowded since the introduction of the new svstcm of tickets. But as the Council is saving monev, we suppose it is all right —That the farmoas u- North are urging the absurd contention that the loads are bad there just because a drav sunk out of sight oil their market track The\ aio always growling -That Mis. Faulkner, of Timaru is the heioine of the hour A run-awav hoise and trap *w as. biougrht to a standstill b\ lier aftei the hoise had dragged htM over thiee wiie fences —That the Josephine Stanton Companv seems to have the faculty of shedding members in almost eveiv town it stops at Twelve elected to lemain in Svdne\ when they left for Westraha —That the Fire Bngade at a lecent Auckland conflagration succeeded in saving the burning building' This is t.iid to be unprecedented in the histon of the Queen City and the manual fiie engine That it is confident K asserted that one of the planks in the prohibition platform will be the cheapening b\ half of the familiar "pint " We are inclined to believe that the assertion has no foundation m fact. — That a movement is on foot to request the lailwav authorities to supply the foot warmers with fiesh hot watei during the corning wintei Passengeis sa\ the stale stuff usually supplied is not good for purposes of dilution - That a recent defendant m a contemnt of oouit" case handed ovei a 'fiver" to pa\ a small fine, and lcfuscd the change. Said he'd ta,ke it out in contempt. The average jav pav was on the bench. The mfeieiice is obvious -That the lughh -placed voung gentleman, who was leaving for 'fumn parts" bv a ceitam good ship lecently is not feeling too nice about the valueless cheque his washei woman flaunted in )ns face befoi-e the said ship left these shores. — That two and a half million Japanese fishermen want so badlv to learn how to fish from the two and a-half thousand fishers m New Zealand, that they are paving a successful angler (Di Nishikawa) £lo0 a month to discover our methods. — That the swelled heads of the New Zealand troopers are not likely to he reduced bv the yarn being told h\ an Knghsh officer and M.P that b* hu the erieatest teat of arms m the war was accomplished bv the New Zealandeis Ho descubes the business in such \iwd detail that no New Zealander can lecognise the engagement ' - That the steward of a local stcamei was \ery badly taken down the other da\ bv an encraging young woman, who used a male fuend's visiting card, and borrowed £b from him. on the strength of it It was the confidence tuck cle\orl\ plaved on a \eiv knowing \oune man —That a voung ladv at a concert the other e^ emng cieated a stn b\ flatlv refusing m the piesence of the audience to plav the accompaniment to an encoie song toi a much-moustached young maiT She gave no reason, but is said to have been annoved at a lemaik he made concerning a formei accompaniment