Wairarapa Jottings.

Free Lance, Volume II, Issue 81, 18 January 1902, Page 20

Wairarapa Jottings.

MASTERTON Borough Council affairs are, to the mind of some councillors, assuming a more healthy condition since the expert accountant, called in to drag the town out of an imaginary financial slough, has gravely informed the Council, in an in tenm report, of faots with which they were well acquainted. However, the report was merely of an "interim" character. Let us hope, in the interests of the newspapers, that the next report will be a bit more startling ' When the thunderbolt had fallen — that is, when the report had been read — the Mayor caustically remarked that the Council, it seemed to him, would, after six weeks' delay, and the expenditure of £21, come back to his original proposal. When a man needs, and can get, an overdraft at the bank, he generally goes and asks for it. That was the Mayor's proposition, couched, of course, in that beautiful phraseology always made use of at municipal meetings. But, some there were who could not grasp the fact that the Council might behave like an ordinary business manit seemed infra dig. , or something of that sort. Finally, the Mayor's motion was carried — on a casting vote, let it be observed — so there is every reason to anticipate a few more "breezes" in the near future. The Council, certainly, has to some extent "outrun the constable," to use the Mayor's expressive phrase, but if it retains all the wind that it can, and pegs along steadily, there is no reason why the puffing gentleman in blue should not be lost eight of altogether — and a perfect peace regained. After all, Councillor Coradine's resignation fell rather flat. The seven days' wonder did not come up to the scratch Dy at least six days and twenty-three hours. Since then, Masterton has struggled with the excitement of a municipal ejection, and Mr. John Heseey is now fairly into the vacated place. The "Hero of Ladysmith" contested the seat, but all the memories of a signal victory were powerless to influence burgesses who would think of nothing but finances. Mr. G. H. G. was done by 129 votes out of a total of about 600 recorded! It is unfortunate, but he could hardly have expected to defeat Mr. Hessey. If Mr. Goodall decides to again offer his services to the burgesses, writer expects to see him score an easy win - An Irishman and a Scandinavian, although thoroughly naturalised, should not converse through the telephone. They are apt to misunderstand one another. A son of the Emerald Isle, not a hundred miles away from Carterton, rang up his butcher the other day. and asked for a leg of pork. "The cart is away shoost now, but I yill send it up by August' (name of the said butcher s boy) was the answer to the request. "Phawt in the noime ay Hevin will it be loike by August!" indignantly rejoined Pat. (Drop the curtain, please.) • * * He had only a penny on him, and his breath scorched the flies on the counter. The publican looked as only that gentleman can when he is eyeing the penniless loafer. But the unfortunate one cared not for frowns — he had a problem to solve, and his dry throat reminded him that no time could be lost if life were to be saved, so, approaching a weary. old farmer, who was md-nqd-ding in the corner of the bar, he said, "Say, boss, bet yer a penny I'll put a pint into me without letting a drop go down my throat." The man from the back-blocks was naturally surprised. "Nosh, bet yer can't, trysh.' How the eyes of the ingenuous one sparkled as that pint was drawn' He drank, and deeply. Then, with a sigh, he parted with his last penny. The question of paying for that pint is rather a sore uoint with one or two people ' • • • What a thing it is to be civilised ' A Waararapa Maori wanted to be prohibited, and got a pakeha friend to make the necessary application. He felt the importance of the occasion, and bedecked himself accordingly. In a lonar-tail-ed, black coat, light check pants, hard hat highly-polished boots, and a roll of legal-looking documents in his hand, he proudly strode up the street after the fiat — no more beer for twelve months — had gone forth. # * * A young and popular member of the jeunesse doree of Masterton has left for the Empire City, Mr. Cecil G. Dowries, who has been in the service of Lawyer Beard for some years past, having exchanged the legal chair for a position in the Treasury. Mr. Downes will be much missed in those circles where he was wont to move, and writer joins with a large circle of friends and acquaintances in wishing him every success in the future. May his luck be never failing!