Round The Town A Christmas Eve Phantasy

Free Lance, Volume II, Issue 77, 21 December 1901, Page 24 (Supplement)

Round The Town A Christmas Eve Phantasy

IF aiuone calls just sax wc'io goi.i' out." And, ciamming a fistful of copy" into the grnnj hands of the punter's devil, we turned the kev in the loc-K and sat down to think. The Christmas, Supplement was , on the stocks and another story was wanted before it could be launched. What should it be about ? The day had been very busy. Callers had been frequent, and none of them had been in much of a hurry. This w ab the first clear interval in the day's procession, and we rushed it. One more story wanted, and the "devil" had warned us he would be back anon for the first instalment. Clearly, there was no time to sketch the- scenario of a plot. Let us see — what should we write about ? We tried to steady iour thoughts so as to give the imagination a chance But the conditions were not favourable. The glorious summer afternoon, and the proximity of the holidays, had brought the fair sex and the count* y cousins and the liberated school children into town, and the hum of voices, mingled with the dull roar of traffic, ascended to the window and smote upon our ears. Then, too the atmosphere was hot and stuffy There w as a drowsiness in the air also which weighed upon the e\es and dulled the senses like an opiate Suddenly these lundiances vanished The door we had just locked swung open, and a wnll-gioomed and fashionabl> dres«ed voung mail bustled into the room, seized our disengaged hand, shook it warmlv, and then sank into the vacant chair, and mopped his perspiring face with a fragrant handkerchief. He w as a stout young man, with golden hair and moustache, red cheeks, and blue eyes, an expression of perfect goodnature sa.t upon his apple dumpling face, and his laugh was musical, and full of heartiness. He was in exuberant spirits. "Don't recognise me in this dress, T see," he burst out, and then he slapped his thiech, threw back his head, and laughed as if he thoroughly enioved it. "Well. I'm vour old friend — everybody's friend— Santa Claus'" '"You don't believe it? Of course, not . How should you ? The picturemaking fellows always draw me as an old buffer, with large paunch, and red nose, and long beard — with plenty of Lolly leaves, icicles, and boar frost as trimmings. Well, that kind of masquerade ma\ suit the Old Folks at Home — -on the other side of the world, vou know. "But it's a bit out of place in these new and young lands, where Christmas domes to us in midsummer, and people go camping out under burning suns instead of taking refuge from snow and ice by the side of blazing fires on the domestic hearth ''Now, I've just dropped m to see you before starting out for a cruise round town. I like to watoh the people, and make a few notes before I carry round the usual fal-de-lals to drop into the stockings of my best friends — the children. There are a couple of hours to spare so como along and we'll have some fun." In an instant we were m the street Day had gone, and fche night reigned in splendour. The streets were gorged with people, the shops were radiant with light; a gladsome holiday spirit pervaded the scene. Christmas Eve beyond a doubt ' Until Santa Clans had dropped in upon us we had had no notion Christmas was so near as that. "Hanged if I can see a postage stamp'" said a voice in our ears It snapped off our reflections. Looking down we found a sprueelv-dressed little man on his knees by an office-door He was searching the footpath with the aid of his bicycle lamp. "Lost anything?" we asked. He rose to his, feet, removed the gold-rimmed pince-nez from his nose, and we saw it was our genial friend, A. T. Bate "Well, not exactly that," he replied. "But T expected to find something. I fancy Dick Morris has been fooling me Told me at tea-time he had seen a i are postage-stamp lving just outside mv

(\pxutUii llittti'ii hn Hit /)cc Lmm ( In i*t mas Supplvmmt

office dooi- -Patagoniciii, 1k v s>aad — and, of course, I came aw ay hot foot to secure it." "Let's have a look," we remarked and took the lamp from his hands. ' All here's the stamp, all right '" and tlioie, on the pavement, done faintly in chalk were the outlines of a No 14 footprint

' It's Patagonian, certainly, m size.' said Bate, with a sigh of resignation "but it's not quite the kind of thing one can add to a stamp collection. I'll he even with Dick for this." A bustling figure came up, and cannoned smartlv against us. "Halloa, what's up. Light dazzled me and didn't see vou " It was Kennedy Mac. We matle excuses which saved the situation.

Ho oarned a roil of paichment m his hand, and seemed in a state of great elation. "My boys," he .said, with the air of a mail who has struck a fat slice of good luck, and doesn't mind sharing it, "do you want a good specr' Here it is — "Tera whiti-by-the-Sea . " So saying, he flung the paichment out of its fold, and displayed to view the plan of a township in squares, esplanades, terraces, parks, domains, etc., etc "I'm just off to the printer with the prospectus," he added. 'The sweetest thing out — bound to be rushed. Magnificent views, from beetling crags,, of Nature in her most majestic aspects Purest ozone fiom the wild and wasteful ooean. Miramai , Seatoun, Kelburne — e\eu Beautiful Karon — simply not in the same century bv the side of Te-rawhiti-b\-the-Sea " Santa Claus plucked my sleeve and we fled. A deaise tlirong blocked the street at the approach to the Kelburne tramway. Finding Mi Yerex vigorously elbowing his way through the crowd we followed in his wake "A smash-up 0 " we asked "Not the kind >ou mean," he answered. "But I guess and calculate it'll he a bit of a smasher for the liquor traffic in the long run. Haven't \ou heard of the grand New Zealand Temporanoe Hotel Martin Kennedy has built im at Kelburne to present to the peoole ?" "No? Where on airth havevou been P Well vou see, Martin reckoned he had

made just about as much monov as lie oared for, and thought he'd start before it was too late and do something handsome for a place &o neglected as, Wellington. He noticed the national drink bill was increasing, and so, with a view to checking the drink habit, he has put up this, magnificent temperance palace and is handing it over as a pubhe institution. This is the opening night, and he is running the people up on the tramwaj for nix, and standing treat all round. Come along." "Yes, but who is to keep it going?" Oh, he's goang to isee to that. He has started it with a big endowment. And all sorts of attractions are provided to draw the people— croquet and howling lawns, tennis courts, swings for the kids, little tea kiosks, and summerhouses for vum-yum couples, gardens for the grown-ups . nothing but soft stuff to drink, and all refreshments at bed-rock prices." By this time we had been pushed and elbowed close to the tram-station. The oars were passing up and down the line at a great rate, and as each emptv one came to a standstill there was a scramble to get on boaid, and in the twinkling of an eve it wa*? full.

' Seems till at friend Martin is up to his eyes in it to-night," observed Santa Claus. Better give him a call another time, eh p " We assented, and worried our way through the flowing tide of humanity back towards the Quay. A hand upon our arm drew us within a doorway. The hand belonged to Mr. Menteath, he of the curly, flaxen locks and the tawny moustaehios.

Just tihe man we wanted to see." he remarked, and in saying "we," he indicated friend Loughnan, ever genial and debonair, with a graceful flourish of the hand. "I've planned another great whale hunt out at Titahi Bay. Got a man stationed out there to keep a bright look-out, and wire me directlv anj spouting's seen in the Bay. Boat ready for launching , crew arranged for , harpoons and all other gear prepared. Luffv here has agreed to write it up when it comes off. Now, can you have Hiscocks on hand to illustrate — " Santa Claus whisked us abrupt!.\ awav. "No time for whale-yarns tonieht," he said. "Besides, Captain Jackson Barry's my favourite author in that line. He'll load you up if it's whale you want." Just by Johnny Martin's fountain stood two familiar figures. One of them spun a coin in the air as we approached. <r Bv all that's funnv, it's Charley Luke and his brother. J. P.," we murmured. "We're tossing for drinks."

said one of them. ''Join us, and we'll make it a bob in and the winner shouts." "Lead us not into temptation/' we quoted. "What's come over you—thought you were of tlie strict QT?"

So wo are," they chorussed. "But it's Christmas Eve," added J. P., "and it's a sad heart that never rejoices. It's been a fine year for the iron industry, and we're giving ourselves a treat." "Then it's my call, and my order V sang out a cheerful voice, as a heary hand smote us on the shoulder. It was Sam Brown, in glossy silk hat and frock coat, freshlv hack from his 49th Arbitration Court touj-.

'•Congratulate me," he said. "Just got the appointment of President of the New South Wales Arbitration Court, at £2500 a year. Those Sydney fellows have their eyes skinned ail right, and can see a long way ahead of their noses.'" They wanted an experienced man to run their new experiment in industrial arbitration . ' ' "And they've got him then," we said. 'But what about your nourishing ooal business?" "Oh, I've seen to *ha.t. King Dick takes it over at my o\\ n price as the retail department of 'his big State coal mine business. By Jove, Dick Seddon's a perfect wonder. Has everything at his finger's ends. A born ruler of men, a perfect genius for shaping wise laws, amazing capacity for hard work — "Hold on for pity's sake, Mr. Brown till we catch our breath. This — this is really too start lingly sudden for our nerves. Why, we always thought you had quite made up your mind that King Dick and his party were a regular bad lot. "Oh, that was m my unregenerate days, you know — before my eyes were opened. But we live and learn. Haven't you heard that the Employers' Association, with John Duthie and Dr. Newman at their head, are getting up a banquet to the Ministry ?" "No!" we hadn't heard that. "Well, then, just drop in at Brandon and Hislop's, and Hislop will show vou the list of subscribers." and Samuel winked his business eye. We were just about to nominate our poison when, lo and behold, we stood ; n front of the National Bank. A small boy, in silver buttons, held a pawing charger — blood stock, we saw at a glance — by the side of the pavement. At that instant Mr. James Coates, <"h©

general manager, came forth, with a note m his hand, «uid stiode forward to the. steed. „ "Ah, how- doP Glad to see vou. he said "Run you eye o\er that," and he handed us the noto. It wafa an offer of £.1000 a year to manage the State Bank, and bore the sign manual of Kino; Dlck - , „, "Yen flattering," we ventured, out can you afford to make the sacrifice, an 1 tie vonrself up to the State?" "Just what I've been thinking over," Mr Coates replied, as he vaulted lightly into the saddle. '"Anxious to^obliao King Dick, of course, but — — " The scow was changed. We were pasMncr by J. K Nathan and Co.'s when the sound of voices in eager exclamations, and tho noise of people rushing hither and thither, attracted our attention Something in the natuie of a contest was afoot. Santa Claus gave us a leg-un and standing on tho window-ledge we peered over the frosting, and beheld an animntod spectacle. A game of "Pmg-

V Pong" was m lull suing, the P^yerfe— David Nathan and J. J. Devine— both with coat and vest off, and going at it with all the iiest of earlj youth. Around the table and freely backing the champions were a group of city men—Beauchamp and David Jones, Maudsley and Peter Hutson, Frank Grady and D.I A Comgan, Pearse of the "Albert" and Henry Fielder, Barber and George Winder, etc etc., etc What did it all mean? The question was soon answered. David caught our eye and sent out brother Phil to invite us in It was merely a friendly match to decide which of the twain should go for the mayoralty. _ We didn't go in. Acting Town-Clerk Tait had bailed us up He was quite breathless "Mayor sent me in search of you," he gasped "Been searching high and low. Saw you silhouetted against the window Find him in hi* room Come on'" We yielded, and came. In the Mayor's sanctum we found Mr. Allaneveryone knows Veitoh and Allan — and Mr Wm. Ferguson, the author, mainstav and sheet anchor of the Wellington Harbour Board. His Wor^hio entered with a tra^ bearing several bottles of

' golden top," half a dozen champagne glasses, and a biscuit barrel. A modest Snile suffused his face as he set down his burden, and pressed us to join in a little festive irrigation. "Are vou sure Mr. Paterson would approve ?"" and we pointed to the beverhe might prefer something Scotch,"" suggested Mr. Ferguson His Worship canmly remarked that it was not to be quoted as a precedent, but as it would most likely be his last Christmas in office he was celebrating the occasion by a loving cup with his particular friends. Bob Bannister's smiling face appeared in the doorway. "Hope I don t intrude?" he said, "but heard the clink of glasses, and just dropped in to see if the Ratepayers' Association were represented " Robert carried a kit in his hand, and a peculiar sound emanated therefrom . "What is it?" wo all asked simultaneously . }) "The greatest noveltv out in fowls answered Robert, in great clee as he hauled a voune twlle* <>"+ hv the lees "Just bought it from Ted Hill £™ 1(1 n * beat down his price, nohow. Ted has

and hab taught it to run up the scale fiom D below the s>ta\e to E in alt. Canaries will go right out of fashion when I start to propagate tins strain of singing hens. At first, mv charge for sittings of eggs w ill ber— "

The company did not notice us sneak away. It was Robert \s innings. '•What do -\ou saj to a weed?" asked Santa ("fans. The' hi at was taken, and we sauntered along the QuaA to Batkin's. Theie was a crowd of sports"cricketers, footballers, yachtsmen, and amateur athletes, of one sort and another m the- shop, and an air of suppressed excitement . "Have you hoard the. new si-' asked ' Goff" Warren. Mi . Speed has just received a cable from the Prince of Wale.s. Savs he's being pressed at Home to enter a boat for the America Cun and issue a challenge at once to the Columbia. Wants to know if he can have the Iorangi foi the race, and also says he has> declined to bind himself until he can make- of getting J Tt Snood in act as starter "

We rushed forward to congratulate Mr. Speed. He was bearing his blushng honours very modestly. "This is l great day for Wellington," we remarked. "Not the first time Wellington saved ifoe Empire," chipped in Batkin, with a twinkle in his eye. "This may be the banks' Waterloo. By the way, I'm doing a little bit for the cause of sport myself," and he dropped his voice to the ;onfidential key. "It has been the dream of my life to boom the game of Football by presenting the Wellington Rugby Union with a sports ground of their own. Now , I've been buying shares in the Athletic Park Company for that purpose. "I meant to keep it a secret for a while longer, but a circumstance has happened which sort of forces my hand News has come in that Alf Ashbolt is heading a deputation to the City Council to urge them to grant the use of the Basin Reserve to the footballers every season as soon as cricket is over." "Then wonders will never cease," we ejaculated. Hardly were we out in the street again, when we were bowled completely off our feet bv a long-coated personage, who seemed to bo in a deuce of a hurry He came back to apologise, and to ask if we were hurt. It was that popular Rabbi, the Rev H. Van Staveren.

"Will you take the fourth hand at a solo party?" he wanted to know. I'm beaching the game to my fnends Kennedy Elliott and Glasson. Like mvself and other parsons, they're a bit shy dnd timid. But they're coining on, all

right. Our fourth player disappointed us, and that's why I'm out hunting for a, substitute." "Then, here are the very men you want," and we pointed out Harry Price and Arthur Dixon, who just then hove in sight. We left Mr. Van Staveren explaining the situation to fchem, and heard something about "the dealer sitting out every time" as we fled the scene. "You're passing a friend!" said Santa Claus, and we oame to a stop in front of Mr. J. R. Gibbons, the indefatigable chief reporter of the "Post." He held a roll of paper in his hand, and was trying to put a point on a tiny fag-end of pencil. Care was writ large upon his open countenance, and a far-away look was in his eyes. 'Whither away, Jack?" was oui fashion of accost; 'you look troubled, old man ? " "Yes; I'm going at high pressure," sighed J. R. sadly. "Just finished half-a-dozen three-column interviews, and now I'm chasing after locals." "This is the busy season," we said, at a venture. "They will slacken off by and by." "Not for me," answered Jack, pensively. "After next month I'll have to be out every day before the 'Sun.' " We knew there was no use advising him to put the brake on when he scented news, and just then he oaught sight of another par., and darted after it, in the same old, willing fashion in which he used to score tries for the Athletics with a wind-blown hard-hitter hat or a stray pur> or what ever else came his way in the field of play. As we rjafieed the corner into Willisstreet. W. C. Fitzgerald, the chemist

stood at his shop-door, rubbing his hands, in evident glee, and beaming upon all and sundry. "You look happy!" we said. "Have the Government refunded those law costs?" "It's even better than that," he replied. "What do you think? Dr. Martin's been in, and I've vaccinated hum against the plague. He couldn't get it done anywhere else, I suppose." Ere we could make further investigation into this mysterious business, w« found ourselves grabbed by either arm, and, turning hastily, found ourselves confronted by the Dwan Bros. "We want your name to this," and they flourished a large-sized subscrip-tion-list before our affrighted gaze. "It's for a noble object," they explained reassuringly. "The Rev. Leonard Isitt is having a good time in England, and we thought it would be a jolly fine idea to raise funds to send his brother Frank to join him there. Don't see why Leonard should have all the fun, when we can manage so easily to spare Frank for a while." There was nothing for it but to part — parting is such sweet sorrow — and our names were added to the subscriptionlust Something wa6 astir in the "Evening Post" office, and we looked in. It was Louis Blundell, just returned from Europe and America, discoursing to a crowd of delighted citizens about the wonders he had seen abroad. He wa6 clad in his famous Niagara suit, which he had just donned to show to his friends, and, as we entered, an idle vagabond bov put in his head at the doorway, and yelled out, "Send it to Shortt's Louis bravely choked down his emotion, and proceeded to show how the tourist business might be boomed in this part of the colony if we only set about building a Niagara Falls at the Wainui-o-mata. On the footpath, the Hon. Dr. Grace was holding an animated conversation with Chief Conciliator Rev. Crewes. He was highly pleased over something, and from the occasional phrases that reached our ears it seemed that he was shaking hands with himself at his good fortune in getting out of the trams before the Conciliation Court started to hoi=t up the w r aees of all hands. That, at anv rate, was our deduction. Tn front of Wardell Bros.' very complete and ri<"h+-up-to-date grocery establioViment stood a neat edg. Mr. Wardell came out of the shop, followed by

he redoubtable Allan Orr, handed Allan >ohtely into the trap, jumped up beside um, and took up the reins. We rub>ed our ■eyes in amazement." Was it ■eaJ or were visions about ?

"It'h all tight," said Allan, plea&antl y ' Mr. Wai dell has invited me out to his place to spend Christmas with him and help him ea.t the Christmas plum-pudding." And, as the gig turned to the street, Allan tossed us atra^t and waved his hand in farewell. The tract was inscribed, "Let Brotherly Love Continue." "Didn't I tell you we would have some fun?" inquired Santa Claus, as we moved on again. We had no time to reply, for just at tihis instant. Andrew Collins barred our wav with T). P Fisher on his arm —

Can't you give Dave here a word of comfort?" he whispered in our ear. "Has hardly held his head up since Parliament passed the, new Industrial Conciliation Act allowing either party to a dispute to carry it straight an part the Board to the Arbitration. Court. Poor chap, he's taken it awfully to heart." Truly, Dave wore a most lugubrious expression. If members had only realised what they were doing 1 "Pluck up heart, Davy, man," we said. "The Conciliation Board isnt dead yet. Besides, there may be a vacancy for you any day in the Arbitration Court^-who knows?" "Give me back the old Act," wailed David. "Give me back the old Act, with its compulsory conciliation. That's what I want." . -j tit "Rather touching case this, said W . H. Quick, with a curious droop in his left optic, as he came to a halt. "Still, this Wellington Conciliation Board was as slow as a funeral, and of no practical use. Now, when I was Chairman we had a 'quicker' method — " We were not allowed to hear the remainder of the discourse. A brisk little man, with dark eyes and a long frock-coat, was impatiently beckoning us aside. It was Mr. Boyes, of the Government Life Insurance, the famous crack bowler. "If you want a special treat uitne bowling line, come up to the Wellington green to-morrow, he said. it u be a lot better than roast turkev and Christmas duff. I'm going to polish off young Bell in the morning— you can miss that. I'll be putting Mentiplay throueh his facings about mid-day--that may not interest you much. But don't let slip the 'go' between Churchward and me in the afternoon. it you're not too late 111 reserve a seat for you." We pressed his genial hand warmly, and promised to be there.

A yell of agony fell upon our ears. It ame from Hoby's surgery, and ere you (Continued on Page 37.)