Wairarapa Jottings.

Free Lance, Volume II, Issue 77, 21 December 1901, Page 44

Wairarapa Jottings.

• • • • A FEW months, ago Wanaiapa ne«spapei proprietor awoke to find rhimsehe*. famous During the mght a Conciliation Board, which had quite lost the power to exercise its function, had w andered into the distnct in an aimless, unobtrusive way, and seated itself in the Masterton Courthouse Having sat upon the printers it departed, and, e\ idently, the tup wab a pleasant one, for the othei da^ the almighty Ai bit rat ion Court— w ig and gown complete -turned up smilingh , kicked the Distntt Court kettle and all, into a back loom, and had mam employers of di\ers kinds of labour haled into its piesenee To save, trouble, employers,, who hadn't to employ anyone, good-naturedh stated that they did not object to the demands of the Union, while those who had employees obstinately declared that thev could not agree to what the Union wanted. However, it is satisfactory to learn that the Court can make two awards— one for the town and another for the oountrv The Wairarapa aw ard should certainly be of the "eountrv" species * * ■* The a\erage Wairarapa man does not understand the Arbitration Court A case in point— the following conversation in the istreet "Where are you going to?" noticing the holidav attire of the person addressed. 'To the Arbitration Court." "Oh, what's the dispute? "Garn ver idiot there isn't anv dispute " 'Oh '"--they part * • ♦ Piscatorial know ledge is no doubt a very fine thing in its way, but appears to be of rather a dangerous nature In a District Court case, recently heard at Masterton, a young but brilliant legal advocate likened one of the parties to a venomous fish that swam vigoroush about the ocean exuding poison, and, when tired, buried itself in the mud, and continued to exude poison until furtherorders How much poison that fish would exude in twenty-four hours it would be difficult to say, but it would be an excellent thing if it could be captured and placed m a handy position for some enterprising chemist "to draw upon at pleasure. However, I was almost forgetting; to mention that it must be pursued by its enemies to give satisfactory results. Same counsel, also, had a few words to sav about a "suckingdove," which is, I believe a cross between a sucking-pig and a rooster * * * An interesting Wairarapa libel case is at last concluded, and the Greytown Hospital is the richer by £5. Nearly all Carterton was identified with the action. There were witnesses galore, and, after much evidence was taken, Judge Kettle invited counsel to meet him "in chambers," where a satisfactory settlement was arrived at. The general impression is that Carterton will be mneh quieter for some time to come * • • A most remai kable occurrence ks leported A man travelling from Eketahuna to Masterton lost £13. Everyone in Eketahuna wants to know wheie that, man obtained such riches' * * • The Progressn e Association of Eketahuna has collapsed, completely brokendown, in fact After this, the town may be expected to get along fanh well. * • • The good folk of St. Matthew's Church, Masterton, have just finished "running" a fancy fair on the A and P Association's Grounds. "Ping-Pong" and other athletic exercises were indulged in by membeis of both sexes. with a degree "of abandon that threatened to permanently injure their health at the rate of hd per game Having said this, there is scarcely any need to mention that the function was a distinct financial success The bicvcle planting" crank is beginning to make his appearance m Masterton. On a late occasion two gay youths had their bicycles planted, with the lesult that the machines remained in separate gardens all one very wet night However, it is pleading to learn that the bicycles were not iniured, for a very obvious reason * * ♦ •'One <-hall be taken, and the other shall be left." Recently. Masterton boasted of two artists, not to speak of of others, of either greater or leaser degree for the verv life of me I would not &av which ' But now, one of these artists twain is on the eve of his departure for the Empire Citv I feel sorry for the fair nupils, who-, bein«- students a,t practically elates of a rival nature, had manv a 'le-etle" subject for nuiet chat, ami gossip To have this pleasure ruthlessly snatched away from them is indeed hard But the decrees of fate are sometimes stern- -is it not so p