It Is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume II, Issue 72, 16 November 1901, Page 22

It Is Town Talk

— That a jilted damsel who had hei trousseau read\ turned up at a recent faiic\-df aiic\ -di e*s ball m bndal attue Not to be beaten ' — That a man not lenowned roi hi^ la.rge-heartodne>ss is advertising toi "two apprentice^ who will be treated aone of the family '" — Tliat a eoimspondeut ot a Northern papei compares .sonu alleged useless and extra\agant municipal w r ork to getting a Hunt Club to kill a rat 1 — That Hectoi Macdonald has a bew lldering nnmbei of relatives it the claims of all the "Macs" to relationship with him are to be credited. — That the statement that Mr Witheford. M.H.R , is having a yacht built to contest the championship w ith the Yankees, has been denied b\ an Auckland paper — That amongst numerous applications foi a clerkship the other da-\ was one from a sailoi . He naturalK thought that clerkship was some part ot a \ es&el ho said -That the chief source of levenue of the Cook Islands, alleged to be made bv publLshmg stamps for philatelic collections, is cut off by the annexation to New Zealand. — That a \oung housewife made her fh«t purchase at the butcher's one day last week She said she wanted liver, '•but not that wretched torpid stuff the doctois say causes so much disease - -That the captain of a rifle club ni these parts is responsible for a new title In the place of "officer commanding district " he dubs those several gentlemen officers considering ' — That the Cook Islanders should have all the legal advantages of their New Zealand fellow-colonists Conciliation and arbitration for instance and perhaps rating on unimproved values Welcome innovation 1

- That tlio Samtaij Inspector, wliotnt'i he ma\ be docs not seem to have Muffed around Chinatown latch That the tage tor federation ha.s -,pread to religion Australian Protestant Alliance disfranchises" New ZeaLand Alliance because it will not fedei,it< Let brothel 1\ love continue That a Thorudon lad\ a-ked Ku llt'Ctoi Macdonald What do \ou think rhi most awful effects otwai General J ' Well ' was the thoughtful iepl\ '.soim ot tin book 1 - written about it ait piettv bad Thar -ionu ladies ot rh< I ommon>\Pdlth aic endea\ounng to Sunday papers a<- then publication breaks the ftabbath As the\ art printed on Saturday the aigumi-nr wnn .1 bit unbound That b\ mohibitmg rht ot opium in New ZeaJand tin Government loses a it^u'iniP of between £8000 and t'HHM) Thar a u ell-known Wellington iarni%ui ot a couple of -seai,s ago ha= dropueii into a fortune amounting to over UUOO — That the Rev Dowie, the new F""ijah " has, made £3,000,000 since he left Austialia Wlio aftei this will ba\ tin pulpit does not pa % \ — That the pretty little nagging wife, ot a local citizen got a &et-back the other da\ when he locked hei out and boairled at a hotel for a week That a Havre's Ba\ man not unknow n in the bush hays celebrated the auniversar\ of his marriage b\ elopme with a half-caste Maori girl — That a lad\ , who has an unmusical daughter declares that, as she has no ear, she is taught only classical music The houses on each side of tht piano aj < vacant — That a Northern paper in giving market quotations, tells us that egg Itrom the Government Poultry Department aie strong '' Unintentional unkindness — That one Wellington man who iwireported to ha\e won mone\ over th< New Zealand Cup meeting has been bus\ recenmg visitor^ evet >ince -all creditors — That a new evening papei ib to be started m Wellington almost lmmedi<itel\ Some of the syndicate have beei> n\ loumalism before. The la;=t evening journal published m Wellington w,h the ill-starred 'Press,' whose star waiud when tile versatile Kch\ aid Wak»--held left it

— That a well-known actress, now m S.\dney, has her molars set with diamonds. --That the Manauatu A and P. Show w ill soon prove to be the biggest in the colony — That a ceit am .>uccosstul in\estoi in the big Hobrirt gamble i>~ about to wed a paison's daughter — That a, Tmakon-road cook on being asked by a caller the other day if any of the ladies of the household were in. said 'I am one of them sorr That Mr. W T Wood the new Ma\or of Palmefstoii North was absent at the time of his. election, and his con>v nt to stand \vas> obtained bv wire. -That Mr. Wragge of "sychem'' tame, has been sent a list of Maori names for future storms. The shortest is said to be whankirauponga." — That a Wellington Sunday school hopeful, on being told that he would not meet his teacher in heaven, asked hei '"what she had been doing now " — That an infantile voice, piping out Dada" in a clear treble from the Ladies' GaJlerv, produced some consternation in the 'Ouse during its ' dvmg hours" last week — That a recent bankrupt who '"went through" at the hands of the moneylenders, said the cause of has downfall was a clei'^man who charged him 10 per cent on loans He has gi\ en up church-going -That a fannei m a. certain warm distiict up North, who was asked for beer b\ his workmen, glow led at them, and directed them to the well. His wife cooled the family alcohol there, and the men lejoiced The tanner did not. — That the ' General" officer at the lecent Miramar manoeuvres was annoyed at his junior officers' orders, given in an 'unoithodox" way "From the right to two paces extend" m the mouth of England's greatest General becomes "Troops scatter " Precedent? — That young John Bull, like his paient, old John Bull, won't stand any nonsense over the sacred rights of proportv On the ''other side" of the Taxman Sea they have just '"sent up" a sw agman for fourteen days for appropriating a pannikin, value sixpence — That an Englishman at Hongkong nad a "natuiahsation. agency." Colonial Chinamen returning to the Flowery Land sell him their papers, and he, in rum, sells them to intending immigrants He has only recently been <h\co-\ ored, and dealt with

-That the Kelburne cable tramway w 111 be running at Christmas. —That 'Three Damn Stead" is the expressive title given to the Boer-bore by a London loyal journal. — That there are heaps of wounded — pant*, as a result of the recent shamhght Those wire entanglements again ! — That caves have been discovered ten miles from Rotorua. Pre-histonc remains and ante-pakeha art are features of the discovery. — That a full-blooded Maori lady, moiing m 'upper succles" in London, is announced as engaged to a younger son of a peer — That hundreds, of ladies whose birth-certificates sa\ thirty, affirm that they have no vote under the proposed Australian female franchise. — That it is considered useless to exhibit the new Government stallions at the various shows, as their chances of taking prizes are so small. — That a in the Waikato experienced a "sychem'' last week. A waggon rolled backwards down a big hill, and devastated his homestead. —That Mr. Ngata, M.A.. LL.D., voiced the sentiment of the masses when he deprecated the building of cathedrals and the -starving of the clergy. — That PaJmeiston is to have a lady volunteer corps- We have seen ladies who had a penchant for "arms" before, and the idea must find favour. — That the popularity of volunteering in the Wairarapa is shown by a "record" parade of the South Wairarapa M.R. Four soldiers turned up fully equipped for slaughter — That a 'snapshot fieaid is carrying around a remarkably clear impression of a feminine umbrella knob in a conspicuous part of his face He needs a new c imera, too. — That birthday honours have not fallen very thickh this year. And there weie so main in Wellington expecting them too — people whom George or May had chatted to, you know. — That a volunteer, marching on that famous redoubt on a recent field day. failed to carry his rifle at the correct 'trail " Why the army was not defeated is a mystery to the General's staff. — That rubbei batons for the police is a ne-w suggestion The weapon is rarely used to break anything but a firealarm gla.ss, and "bobby," with the usual timber variety smashes the machinery too frequently