It Is TOWN TALK

Free Lance, Volume II, Issue 71, 9 November 1901, Page 22

It Is TOWN TALK

That <i local law \«m has lost Ins good name It was engiawd on a3 >s u nib i el la -That a musical Philistines definition ot sacied music i* that it is piofane stuff pla\ed slow That tin- khaki te\ ci has spiead to S\dne\ police Ma\ we be the disease m New Zealand' That the Wai Office is to bin halt its flour toi South Africa horn Australia. Where do we come in 'i That since his, ai rival in the colon \ Sn Hector Macdonald has become known as the schoolbo\ s friend.' —That Mi Hutcheson will benefit the country if he can induce the people and Parliament to quit using what he calls 'greasy toadyism —That "Fighting Mac" piwed happ\ at phrase-making when he lemarked that the Ch de Quju schoolboy were clever as monkeys - That Lord RanfuiU as an expert irngatiomst. might be induced to go to Africa, wheie a large inigation scheme is to be proceeded with -That ladies shopping in the cities ot the Commonwealth caiiA aiound copies of the tariff and the tiee list Living goes up lo per cent in S\dne\ -That the Defence Department is pa\me arreais to soldiers owing since October, 1900 No ' it is not paving interest tor the use of that monei — That Paimerston North has a Lane, w Inch lias no turning. He is the activemiiided secretary of the A. and P Society—and knows no. turning back That a local amateui chet ofteied his ser\ices to a hotel giatis Asked his reason, he said he was wilting a cookery book " Application lefused -That while the eleineno of the Crow n" is to be extended to some NeA\ Zealand -aol-birds in June theie is no talk of an increase in the police force —That squads of boss aie canvassing New town toi donations towards the Auckland Maori Gnis' College They carry no list. Who gnes the authoiitv s -That one ot the Auckland Gieat" dailies, ot 'Fusco service and Mailed Fist" memoi is gnmg prizes foi the be«t-dressed doll Who should get hist piize 1 ' That a miner letumed to New Zealand with wealth, has bought a piano It is to be seen in a local pailoui painted yaller" bv his wife to match the pailoui chairs '' 'Teddy" Lonncn founerh of the Gaiety Company, and known thioughout the English-speaking woild in comic opera has succumbed to illness aftei some years of suftenng That dn engineei is commissioned to )ourne\ from Auckland to gather a few hints as to footpaths in Wejlington as a guide for the Queen ( it\ What priceless nifoimation he will gam' -That a man led lach who tia\elsa good deal between New Zealand ports, dispenses with hci wedding ring on the voyage Hubb\ has just heaid of it and a dissolution is on the tapis That Kami sei\ants stick to New Zea landers Fnda\ '' a Fast Contmgentei appears in a photograph gi\en b\ a weekh papei amongst other blacks attached to the Se\enth That a motion at the Presb\tenan Conteience, that the dress worn b\ the Moderator be in future dispensed with," caused smiles The suggestion reads like a defence o f piehistonc laiment That an actoi managei told a friend he wanted something unique and telling" as a draw How would it do to spring something on the public with real actors in it?" queried the friend. -That a prohibited" Wairarapa lad\ obtains creatuie comforts for a sick boardei," per medium ot good-natured messengers The >old dodge works so well that the lad\ is peipetualh happy " - That Malcolm Ross, iepl\inc for the Press a.t the Gaelic Dinner expressed the hope that if he ever had the luck to do a wai" it might be one in which lie would see Fighting Mac" m the fighting line That Mi. Kaston. the exposer of sleeping wild cats " may be deemed to be a public benefactoi If all Englishmen who had fallen in ovei colonial serin protested personally what a ver\ big protest '

- That the Premier lias joined the small arm\ of non-smokeis That the railwa\s will lefjiuie to hustle to pay their \\a;s undei the new Railways Classification Bill That Petone is not saving much about municipal peitection " but it veins to be getting there just the same That a negio waitei in London uas admitted into select soeiet\ b' posing as a Maou chief This is a hint foi real chiefs That an eistwhile successful Wellington bai tendei has just been heard oft He is still at the bai " especialh about fiee lunch time -That a quaint kiddie, who wasa.sk(>d win he wa<- toi e\ ci loafing around the streets, replied that he was learning to be a policeman That the Yankees aie going to inn the Boeis as a business concern. A Beet colom in W\ominsr of 300 000 <ives looks like business That, it all Boer boys under fifteen had b( en been armed w ith New Zealand cadet 1 trios Bullei might have «pent Chnstmas of 1900 at homeThat the reports of the play in the cucket matches m the Alonc^ issues of the daiK papers are eagcrh scanned b^ the followers of the game That if you see a well-known sport limping aiouncl town you will know he is the man who took the new chum rab-bit-shootmg at Karon last week. -That a sweet, new I\ -wed lad\ anxious to please hubby, enteied a Qua\ tobacconist's shop and wished to «.ee some cigars foi a stout, daik man That at Fighting Mac's" banquet leceuth the local "press" w a.s rather ciowded out. and the occasion utilised to eulogise the press of distant districts Win - That a local young lad\ is offering a fabulous sum for a negative seemed b\ hei small bi other The local \oung lach'& lover is anxious to bribe that juvenile photographer That the papers an- full of protests against the treatment dealt out to Geneial Buller. A.s Australian influence leleased the Victorian mutineeis win should not New Zealand influence lemstate Buller 0 -That Prince Geoige's seicetanes might \an that ' deeph touched" tone of message If the Prince knew how often he was "deeph touched." per cable he would nrobabh lesent the interference with his feelings That a McGlashan poem of welcome was one of the trophies of Sir Hector's sta\ m Wellington The General did not know which to admire most — McGla^han's apt versification 01 Petei Georgeson's neat cahgiapln —That a proposition at a meeting of town councillors down South to the effect that the .secretai\ should be piewith an honoianum " was said to be out of place b a councilloi as the secietaM couldn't play one That a Thorndon gentleman of electncaJ ptoclmties has his house full of burglar scanne devices. He letumed from the Fighting Mac" shnoo the othei night, and, on getting through the window -but theie call at the hospital That a patent medicine him undei the heading Sa\ ed hei life " published a wonchous testimonial from a cuied m\alid In the issue the lach 's name appealed undei the funeial notice^ The testimonial is to be withdraw n That on aiming in Wellington Sn Hector Macdonald wanted to know if we had any Piesb\tenan parson and was told they weie all down in Dunedm That was because the Times" said theie were 3300 paisons attending th-e Assembly l