Entre Nous

Free Lance, Volume II, Issue 64, 21 September 1901, Page 12

Entre Nous

A 110 MAN TIC Ule comet, fioin the gummy Noitli I'oi many years a gumdiggu, ougm unknown, but who wasgeneiallj supposed to be a "swell," has diligently dug kauu guin to buy the wherewithal for a precarious existence. Just a foitnight ago, the gumdiggeis' camp in which the swell lived was astonished by the appearance of a particularly handsome middle-aged lady on horseback, accompanied by a Maori boy as guide She diligently inquired the whereabouts of the "swell" digger, and lias directed to his whaie. She disappeared inside, and the diggers say that an imploring female voice and a strong man's sobs were heard issuing therefrom Soon the door opened, and together the lad} and the gumdigger issued Going to each whaie, the man shook hands with his old mates, and left the field for ever in company with his disco veiei » • • It tianspiie.s that twenty ears ago the now elderly man lo\ed the laclv thafc picture was brought to bear to pi event the marnage, the lady's parents deeming her socially the- man s superior The man faintheartedly emigrated to New Zealand, where he ultimately lost his sociaJ position to find gum The ladv has, for twenty years striven to find the man. Recently, on a visit to New Zealand, she, interested in its scenery bought many views dealing with its bush industries, and among them was, a picture of a gumdiggers' pimp with its occupants sci aping gum. Fancying a resemblance in one of the men to her long-lost lover, she inquhed of the photographer, whose name appeared on the picture, the whereabouts of the camp with the result that after the long lapse, love has at last found a way A Home-bound boat recently had among its passengers a bronzed careworn looking man, and a prosperous, cultured ladv On the passenger-hst the names of both were alike * ♦ • Tt is surprising what a large number of persons are inquiring -per medium of the newspapers- the address of Mr. Andrew Carnegie, the American millionaire. Surely they have not heard that he is generously inclined? * * * A verdant looking individual, who lecentlv went to the King Countiy for purposes until lecently undiscovereied, is hardly as gieen as he looks He is considered by the men in blue to be a particularly smait detectne, and travelled the wilds among the Maori in a campaign against sly-grog During his little tour a horse-thieving case was brought to his notice by a friend who knew his profession, and he at once took steps to get the horse and a feather in his cap. He got a description of the animal, which Was a skewbald, and therefore easv to ti ace. Now, as the detective did a gieat deal of travelling, and lequired a horse, he negotiated with a. local Maori, and purchased from him a smart-looking cob # * * During his first nde on his 1 new mount he hitched the hoi so to the veiandah of his favourite sly-giog shop, and disappeared inside On coming out of the illicit, hotel he found a, couple of men indignantly examining that col) The com eisahon that ensued was decidedlv sultn. The men claimed the cob as the ono recently lost, and, in proof, had been d\ed with Condy's fluid showed the astonished detective a brand between the forelegs of the animal, also proving be\ ond a, doubt that the horse had had his tail and mane clipped. The men handed over the detective and the horse to the local police, and only aftei lengthy explanations was the bona fides ofi the detective detei mined Moanwhile the Maori had trekked North possibly to dve another horse, and the detective, whose sh-grog mission has been discovered, is feeling uncomfortable, and longs for town duty again. • • * A rather unusual sight was witnessed m a ceitain Northern town quite lately The. occasion was a funeral, and the two principal mouineis weie young women, who resolved to follow the remains of their relative on bicycles. Stationed behind the hearse, they did not seem to be able to keep slow enough for that sombie \ehicle so they made the pace in fiont the heaise went quickoi and \eiv Oioitlv the tail-end of the mournful procession was indulging in .1 mild belter skeltei Tt was the most, ludicrous thing in funeials the piesent w liter has seen.

A recent Lanck paragraph alluded to the fact of a bridegroom having to bo strongly dosed with pick-m^-ups before he could face the altar. A conespondent now sends an item from a countiy district bearing on a similar subject, and he vouches for its accuracy, as ho was one of the guests at the wedding. The indiscreet groom could not bo found, and when he was it wa& alongside the eemoterv, and he could not bo made to understand what was required of him. It was arranged that the ceiemony be postponed, but the clergyman, who had inconvenienced himself to come a long way in wet weather when he was ill, and who had another engagement, cleared out, saying that he could not wait, and, further, did not care about celebrating the marriage under the circumstances. The bride's people were, of course, furious, and when the groom had sufficiently sobered up an adjournment was made to the office of the Registrar, and he fixed them up all n S ht -

It appears that the latest excuse for husbands who are wont to stay out far beyond the normal hour is to quiet lv inform their better halves that thev ha.\e been attending all-night sittings of the House. One well-known citizen, who got home at some time a.m latch launched this little tale at Ins indienant wife, who was rather astounded, but he told her to look up the papei next day (or rather, that day) and sec w hat time the House rose The gentleman has raked up innumciable excuses in. times gone bv, and the ladv is \ery dubious. "A late sitting of the House" was something new in her experience, but it is the very newest, and beats "Late at office " "Stock-taking," or "Seeing Jones home."

Patriotism has .brought us measles It has also, according to the medico.s, introduced influenza, and, with an unctuous rubbing of hands thcv tuitliei declare' that the South African wainors will desseminate the germs of malaria as soon as the weather is warm enough to foster them. The doctors might have refrained from mentioning malaria. It is not in the least likely that the tiopical disease will obtain a hold in New Zealand. We had hundreds of people in New Zealand previous to the outbreak of patriotism who had contracted the swamp fever in Queensland, in India, and elsewhere. We have never had an epidemic of the "shivers," and, however joyous tho medicos may be at the prospect of its appearance^ the country may re^t content, with itfa measles and influenza, and not eschew South Africans 07i account of passible nua&ma.tic germs.

The peace and happiness of a recent-ly-established family has been broken up by a lady from Home. A gentleman not entirely unknown in Wellington, who represented soft goods, and sold them in this country for an English firm, left the usual fiancee in England, to carve for her a home in this wilderness. New Zealand is the wilderness referred to, and although he still intended to cause his fiancee to emigrate, lie amused himself with local ladies whom he. discovered to- be as charming as those he had left behind. The local lady whom he particularly favoured received his attentions in a spirit which plainly indicated that she might not be indisposed to enter into a matrimonial alliance with the well-favoured and f,nouiablv-financial Englishman. The l'oi o kept his English correspondence up, but said nothing on the connubial question.

The iLiigiish Rose recently caiue Jiilo a, nice ntuie sum, and took siup tor tlie dioiesaia wiiaerness, to give ner lover a, pleasant surprise. ' when she ianuea bne round tnat her iover was up trie countx y on business." fc>he ailigentiy lead uie ladies' columns referring to oirtns, marnages, and deaths, ana was iioi lined recently 10 read that 'at Dovevine, on the 12th, etc., Euphonious Coomgton to Angelina .biiiton," An announcement in the "local" columns inroimed her that the happy couple would settle in this city. one waited patiently, and bearded the male (Joomgton in his den. The bride heard the painful altercation, a "little rift" has appeared, threats to "return to mother" are rite, a breach of promise action is on the tapis, and a prominent business representative is extremely wretched. Ai&o, the English lady, who is very chaiming, and has already a host ot tr lends, many of them of the footballplaying variety, has promised the defaulter, per medium ot one of them, the largest kind of a beating. Some say the man is seized with patriotic fervour to die in South Africa, and his friends imagine that that kind of fighting is easier than the variety he is engaged in at present. * • * A sensational, but painful, featuie \va& introduced at the Golf Tournament m Palmerbton North the other day. A player established a record by driving the ball nearly 300 yards. In its descent, however, the ball struck a man w orking in the vicinity, and knocked out several teeth. The unfortunate son ol toil lias made a claim on the club lor a substantial sum as compensation for the loss of the "ivories." * # ♦ The agitation caused by the much discussed allegedly illicit doings of dredging companies reminds the public that it was ever thus. Who does not remember the horde of hard-werking prospectors who, with forty pounds in their pocket for survey fees, etc., did, in the tMily days of the Hauraki mining boom, beg, borrow, or steal reputable quartz, draw highly-coloured plans, with the bearing of the lode beautifully defined, and sell the lot to London speculators? Writer knew licensees of special claims in that district who had never seen the pegs on their section, but who knew from their hired men that the ground applied for was duly marked out. There is no law to prevent a man buying good quartz, and swearing it was mined on ground he had never seen. These are the tlungs that have made some of our colonial dealings disreputable in the eyes of the Old Land, and, in a modified form, the same thing obtains over since the day the boom burst. * * * Thcie are lively stories current as tho result of the carryings-on of a certain gaily-disposed married lady, who has been making little jaunts in the company of an admirer of mature years, and whose latest escapade savours somewhat of the character of an elopement. One consequence of these little flutters has been the breaking-up of the happy home, and a further denoument in the melodrama is likely to react in a somewhat startling manner upon the male individual in the case. However, the couple appear to be well satisfied with each otlioi, and do not seem to mind lust now what other folks say.

More importance attaches to the visit of Congressman Loud to these Southern colonies than may at first appear. It is a pity that Sir Joseph Ward cannot bo spaied to meet the Calif ornian legislator, who, like the typicaL American, is in such a hurry that he only touched our colony, and will return fiom Sydney by the San Fiancisco boat Sonoma, winch bi ought him over. It may be woith Now Zealand's while to send Secre 1. 11 \ Giay to Auckland to meet Mi. Loud on ln'.s return journey next week, because as Chairman of the Postal Committee of Congress he is a in Paihament, and his 'run over" to Australia has been made specially to inquire into the working of the new Commonwealth. * # * Congressman Loud is already known in the States as a would-be postal reformer For some months past he had been carrying on a special crusade against the abuse of the privileges granted to magazines and other periodicals primarily intended for the instruction and information of the people Newspapers and magazines are carried tlnough the United States post as "sec-ond-class matter," at the ridiculously low ute of a halfpenny (one cent ) per pound -or one>-quarter the inland rate charged in New Zealand It appears that alert advertisers have taken advantage of such a concession, and have been sending catalogues through the post in enormous quantities by simply registering their catalogues as magazines It took Uncle Sam some years to drop down to this little bit of smartness even though it was a losing game to cairv goods at for 16oz. * * * Along tame the Congressman Irom California with his little Bill for the restriction of the concession to on y the legitimate periodical. And, although he could not get Congress to take his measure, although its piovisions weie approved by the recognised news-deal-ers the Postal Department has- been stined up by Mr. Loud's agitation, for quite recently it has struck off the-second-class list all that legion of periodicals which make a feature of, and depend largely upon, gift enterprises, nominal publishing rates, and guessing competitions to keep up their circulation The catalogue circulator, and the illegitimate publisher, will now have to pay at the rate of -M for every 2oz. This practically covers all that Congressman Loud desired. It is obvious that New Zealand's Postal Department would do well to pay its respects to this enterprising gentleman when he comes back from Sydney and spends a few hours m Auckland. Peihaps, Sir Joseph Ward may have seen the matter m a similar light # A propos to last week's gathering of Anglican Church dignitaries at the Svnod heie in Wellington, a good story is being told about the Bishop of Kaiwheroisit Ho came as a stranger in ,i new land and was much discouraged, like many othei pastors in the colonies, with seeing the small attendances at the week-evening services He thought it would encourage his cleigy, and mspiie their flock, if he went the rounds of his diocese, and took a service here and there During his rounds he struck quite a big congregation at a wayback place, and this inspired him to give what he thought was one of his very latest sermons Anxious to hear praise of his deliverance-, he put some leading questions to the attendant, whereat the Bishop got this fillip— "Well I hope thov've been pleased with your sermon It was verv kind of vou to come along and preach to us But, you know a worser man would have done for ttie hives of u<> if so he that one could have neon found convenient'" The Bishop has not "looked for" compliments in < ounhv place* since * * * Now Zealand's civil sonants have no conception of the "ins" and outs" icsult of Ameiican Piesidential elections It was eaih m his first term that the late President McKinley took a him stand upon the spoil s-to-the-\ ictois question, and made easy the minds or thousands of civil servants who expected to be swept out of office, as usual, by the new administration. The new President emphatically dedal ed that ment should reign in the seivico He issued a special order prohibiting dismissals except for a good cause, and the order also gave employees the right to know the charges against them, and to be heard in their own defence. * * » The reformeis of Uumted States, America, weic delighted with this innovation, and the spoilsmen said some "nasty" things but the countiv was with the President The American (nil servants have ne\er sat so comfortably in their billets as they sat during the McKinle.v regime, and at, thev will continue to sit with President Roosevelt in office for dunng his campaign foi the Governorship of Now York Mi Roosevelt stood as the advocate of the merit svstem for the public service as against political influence And dining his term he acted up to lus advocacy

A spirited correspondence has been going on in the London daily papeis, particularly the "Daily Neu&," and the Australian dailies, touching the mysteiious disappearance of parcels sent to soldiers at the front by then friends at home. "149," writing to the Lance, partially explains "Was, for a shoit tune, knocked out of action, too weak to tick, and did pretty much as I liked at Bloemfontem. Othei men also tempoianly not fit were m charge of stores, mostly comprised of piesents from home. They were "good conduct" men, and, consequently, above suspicion. Have seen half-a-dozen of these men ransacking every corner of the store, helping themselves indiscriminately, and destroying the wrappers. If this is done at every depot to the Bloemfontem extent, no surprise need be expressed at goods not reaching their legitimate destination. Soldiers are the greatest thieves on earth. I am a soldier — I know." * * * A lady help assisted last week in a little drama, in a certain suburb that must not be named. She has received "warning," on account of a httle error she made. The daughter of the house, who is somewhat of a flirt, and whose mother aids and abets her in her designs, sets apart specific nights for specific suitors, and it appears Miss de Risque, the said lady's help, got the days of the week mixed during the week, either by accident or design. Among the lady's suitors were a smart young business man, and a no less smart middle-aged beau. Monday was the juvenile's day, and Wednesday the day on which the elderly suitor pleaded his cause. ♦ * # Last Monday the young lady had set aside her charms for the young man, and the drawing-room sofa supported "two souls with but, etc " Whether

the lady's help was spiteful, simple, or designing is not known, but s>he suddenly threw the door wide open, and announced "Mr. Thorndon," and the gentleman, who ought to have waited ior Wednesday, stood in the room! The young couple, who had been interestingly adjacent, separated so suddenly as to advertise the fact, and the young man ejaculated "Father!" simultaneously with the exclamation "Mr. Thorndon"! from the agitated coquette. * # * "You heie with my fiancee?" roared the elder. "Your iiancee!" screamed the young man, "why, she has just promised to marry me?" Latest advices show that the coquette is still single, that the young man, the son of the aged rival, is going to South Africa, and that the old gentleman has eschewed further matrimonial designs. It further transpires that the young lady was unaware of the relationship existing between her two suitors, and had intended deciding on her future when the amounts of the respective banking accounts of the rivals became known. She is hardly likely to glean the information now. • • * There is a publican who recently went into the business, who is being smiled at in the town of his adoption. Recently, two new arrivals from Sunset breasted the tyro's bar, and called for cider — their native drink. The landlord looked round his store, and seized what he imagined ought to be cider, but what was in reality champagne l The new chums noticed it, of course, but said never a word, and quaffed largely. Not until the customers had drunk champagne for two hours, and "shouted" for all and sundry, did the landlord discover his mistake, and he is now spending much time in gaining an elementary knowledge of English, and of labels.