It is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume II, Issue 58, 10 August 1901, Page 22

It is Town Talk

— That there is no truth in the report that the chimney sweeps intend forming a union. —That, so far as numbers go, burglaues and fires appear to be running a dead heat just now. — That mere man is gradually going under. A lady has been appointed c erk of the Weber Road Board. — That a Masterfcon lady now advertises that she will not be responsible for the debts contracted by her husband. — That a young Wellington couple, who tripped to Sydney lately, spent not only thoir honeMTioon there, but everything else a& well. — That the gentry who lecently burgled the pawnshop are apparently not temperance men. They did not take a "pledge." — That, according to the headquarters (C'hnstchureh) people, cycling and athletics should be more encouraged among public school boys in Wellington district. — That a local individual, who "writes things," but is otherwise harmless, moons round graveyards, scanning lettered legends for inspiration. Cheerful' — That since theie has been so much talk of abolishing his sweeps, a large number of Wellington people, who rarely invested before, have been, taking a dip into Tattersall's lucky bag of chance. — That aTe Aro man has, out of a pure smrit of fun, sent testimonials to the agent of every patent medicine he has seen advertised lately, and is now awaiting results.

—That a New Zealand Gas Managers' Association is the latest thing proposed m the way of combinations. That Mr. L. Northcroft, until lately proprietor of the "West Coast Times," is off to South Africa to start a "public educator" there when the weather breaks. — That, according to medical men, a greit many private nurses do not hold certificates: also, that their knowledge of the art is shadowy. — That wide-awake country settlers are anxious to see sleepers imbedded in different parts of the province for electric trams to skip over. ■ — That a Temuka resident is now hatching out emus' eggs by means of an incubator. Pity there are not a few moas' eggs about to experiment on. — That the police authorities badly want a law passed compelling the registration of second-hand goods shops and a system of fumigation, but the Government make no sign. — That, according to a late Home paper, two men were committed for trial recently for stealing cigars which had been intended for the us© of the Duke of York on the Ophir. — That, according to a female gossip, a certain family do not keep their big Bible in. the parlour now. The ages of the two eldest girls figure in it — and they are getting on in years. — That a number of Wellington ladies are thinking of forming a society — yes, another' — with the object of getting all lads in the community to abjure tobacco until they are twenty-one. — That a re-captured lunatic down South said he ran away because he was a descendant of Mary Queen of Scots, and was frightened the Duke of York would call on him in consequence. — That a "graphiology" column has become a feature — an amusing feature — of quite- a number of daily and weekly papers in the colony. It is wonderful how simple some people are ; but it only costs them a shilling a time. — That lots of people wonder why prisoners should be severly punished for walking off when afforded an opportunity. Men are paid to do nothing else but look after them — and with a loaded gun, too.

—That a Thomdon lady, who "paints some," says she can draw anything except a cheque. —That there is one Dutchman and one Salvationist in the New Zealand police force. — That the Arbitration Court bulks so large in the eyes of the press and people that the Supreme Court appears to have faded into a second-class institution. — That little Eltham. is about to blossom out as a full-fledged borough, and the "first mayor" question is now agitating a number of ambitious breasts. — That a leading local authority on football attributed Wellington's defeat by Canterbury last week to the Northern combination being a "fine-weather" team. — That the only person who missed his passage by the Lizzie Bell was one of her seamen, who was, fortunately, in gaol. Better under lock and key than in Davy Jones's locker. —That, if Magistrate Kettle, of Wanganui, carries out his threat of prohibiting instead of fining "drunks," the hotel files there will soon carry miles of blue paper. — That the inability of nurses to agree in nearly all our hospitals is a matter of general comment. Periodical doses of liver medicine would probably put them in bptter humour. — That local imbibers would have a pray time if the precedent of a New York magistrate was followed, and extreme hot or cold weather accepted as an excuse for over-indulgence. — That, when it commenced to snow a little in Christchurch last Saturday afternoon, there was some talk of a Wellington v. Canterbury representative snow fight, but it did not come off. — That the Wanganui Caledonian Society is wild with the Presbyterian body for fixing its annual picnic for Anniversary Day, and "overtures" are to be made with a view to having the bun feast on some other day. — That there are any number of en-gine-drivers in the colony who do not possess the necessary qualifications for first-class stationary engine-drivers' certificates. And we have a Government inspector, too !

— That Invercargill Corporation now grants its men half-pay up to a month when on sick leave. — That a Nelson parson now holds special services for footballers. Some of them want it badly. — That Christchurch City Council now licenses newsboys, who have to dub up half-a-crown a year. Paltry ! — That West Coasters are asking for faster steamers, and better passenger boats, and will not be happy till they get them. —That the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Society is gradually sweeping all the ancient, unfit-for-work horses off the streets. — That the public are wondering what prompted Commissioner Tunbridge to attach to his annual report a table showing the religions of the members of the police force. — That a "painted" bird was discovered at a recent poultry show, but the judge decided to say nothing about it. A quiet hint was dropped to the shamefaced owner, though. — That there was an awful row at Napier Working Men's Club, owing to the admission of a democratic Chinaman as a member, and the committee came in for severe censure. The Celestial has since resigned. — That our City Fathers have so much on their little minds just now that produce and fish markets appear to> be a long way off, and are only visib'e through a powerful telescope. — That mud baths, at the Lakes, are usually taken by out-of-sorts visitors, but the individual who took one on the Quay last week did not aupear to have anything the matter with him. His bike skidded. — That the tonsorial fraternity wish their business to be recognised as an "industry," and not classed as a "profession," like lawyers and others of that ilk, so as the law can regulate their scissoring. — That the person who secretly destroyed the plumage of a dozen cockerels, that were to be exhibited at a Southern poultry show, can congratulate himself on having perpetrated a champion mean trick.