It Is Town Talk
— That Wellington now seems to be the happy hunting giountl of legistrv office keepers — That some of the back-fiom-the-front boys have left their hearts with the Dutch vrouws. — That a man who iccently married hia deceased wife's sister, finds he has still the same old mother-in-law on hand. — That one early-nsing crank on the Terrace spends his spare houis endeavouring to slay small wild fowl with a pea rifle. — That the Hon Hall-Jones arranges for pleasure trips a long way ahead He lias already promised a holiday visit to Stratford next summer. — That a verdant young Wellingtonlan, who lost his heart to a theatrical beauty a while ago, has just crossed the Tasman Sea, to follow up his suit. —That things are looking up at the Rotorua Grand Hotel m piospect of the advent of Royalty. It is stated in. the papers — "Wanted, a smart page boy." — That Their Highnesses will be glad to get to their special baths at Rotorua, seeing it is about the only place where they aie likely to get any privacy. — That a lot of the returned troopers intend to demand an inquiry into the way they were induced by their own officers to join the police, and were then called "bullet-shy." — That an impending Court case has been settled. A Terrace lady smacked the face of another, of whom she was lealous, and her husband has now made her eat humble pie and apologise. — That a somewhat shifty character, who was taking an unobtrusive departure by train last week, met his principal creditor on board, and it took him all his time to shake him off without awakening suspicion.
- — That few people know how to disagiee without being disagiecable. — That even the bookmakers have a union, or, at least, an as&ociation, established, for law -fighting purposes. - That if a man leaves his boardingshop for a clay or two now-a-days, he is at once posted at Lloyd's as "missing." That it is a pity bettor employment could not be secured for young lads than hou.se to house bottle-gathering. — That a man recently objected to his child, being vaccinated with calf lymph, on the ground that he was a vegetarian. — That the Christchuich child who stole a, toy perambulator was 'arrested" by a detective, but that the man who burst the half-dozen safes was not. — That a humorous Blenheim compositor lately called it the "scenery conversation society" — a trifle different from "conservation society," which was meant. — That a maid-servant died suddenly at Chnstchurch the other day, and her mistress lamented that she was _ the fourth girl who had gone without giving notice. — That it is probable that the Duke of Cornwall will figure as an author, as a result of the royal tour, by publishing a diary of events and his impressions of colonials. — That a good idea that might be adopted in this colony is the sterihration of books in the public libraries as a guard against the spread of contagious diseases. — That dog-kennel apartments will be in gieat request, when the city is en fete, and eating-house patrons will have to pay another shilling if they want an extra cold potato. — That a cheap and easy way of raising funds for the Royal reception would be to contract with some patent medicine or whisky man to hang an advertising placard on the back of the Royal carriage. — That the proposal of athletic and cycling bodies to ask the Government to subsidise championship meetings is the coolest thing out. As well ask them to subsidise football scrimmages or golf gambols! — That the warriors who came home by the Tongariro maintain that Bishop Julius, of Christchurch, is a model parson. The reason they advance is that his entire thanksgiving service over their return was packed comfortably into six minutes , text and sermon — "Welcome Home."
— That "two guinea pigs, lady and and gentleman," are advertised for in a Palmerston paper. — That Native Minister Carroll is now clubbed "Duke of Papawai" by the brown people of that locality. — That a man against whom a prohibition order was issued not long ago was actually in treaty for a hotel. — That the cook who dropped a set of fal&e teeth into the stew-pot at a country hotel is now looking for another job. — That the best matchmakers in this part of the colony carry on their operations at Newtown. And the matches they make sometimes explode. — That death reversed the figures with which Queen Victoria came to the throne. She was 18 when she began her reign , she was 81 when she died. — That a proposed ladies' chess club in Wellington has fallen through. The majority of those who were approached voted it too slow, and a waste of good time. — That some surprise was caused in a country town recently when it was found that the shop assistant had a sleeping interest in a rival establishment. — That the coming Duke was tattooed on the shoulder when at sea as a boy, and that the old salt who performed the operation spelt his Christian name wrongly. — That costly jewellery and other fallals are being secured on hire, or on the time-payment system, in view of forthcoming fashionable gatherings in the ''month of York." — That the Palmerston Working Men's Club this year departed from the usuaJ rule in not allowing the report of their annual meeting to be published by the local press. Why? — That nothing is now heard of the proposed war memorials about which some people were so ardent a while back. Ardour cools quickly when money is wanted for other purposes. — That a man, recently dismissed up North for stealing a bottle: of "old Scotch," unearthed the plunder, had a good time, and was "run. in" for drinking what the Court thought he had not stolen. — That the National Council of Women are nothing if not discriminative. They reaffirm "the great democratic principle of government by a majority on all questions, except that of beer !"
— That a printer is travelling round on the Ophir, with the Duke of Cornwall. — That the town clerk at Kaitangata, "where the coal comes from," is named Fuell. — That good hotel properties are commanding high sums all over the colony just now. — That the lady clerks and the casuals will soon be able to run the Government Life Insurance. —That the Mayor of Stratford, Mr. Tatton, is always prepared for council scrimmages; he is secretary of the Taranaki Rugby Union. —That the full list of names of the Duchess of Cornwall and York is Victoria Mary Augusta Louise Olga Pauline Claudine Agnes. — That divorce suite are more numerous in New Zealand lately, but for numbers Sydney takes the bugle — twentynine cases listed at last sittings. — That a "bookie," who found that Blenheim people picked winners too often, suddenly cleared without leaving his intended new address with his wash lady. — That, owing to the frequency of larrikinism at a certain country church, in the Manawatu district, the services of a policeman were engaged last Sunday night to keep order. — That the Wellington correspondent of the Christchurch "Press" declares he has good authority for stating that Mr. J. Hutcheson intends withdrawing from politics altogether at the close of the present Parliament. — That amongst the latest notifications in the "New Zealand Gazette" is one announcing that the Right Hon. Douglas McKinnon Baillie Hamilton Cochrane, Earl of Dundonald, has lodged complete specifications for an improvement in tea and coffee pots. — That the Palmerstonians are wondering how they shall dispose of the £50 worth of crackers which they laid in stock for the never-coming-off peace demonstration. Probably, the explosives will be fired off when the Yorks arrive. — That Harry Johnston, who was arrested at Sydney, and sent back to Auckland to stand his trial on the charge of misappropriating £500 of Kauri Timber Company's money, was in receipt of salaries from one source and another to the tune of £1700 a year, with an excellent prospect of an increase of £500 at an early .date.
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https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/NZFL19010518.2.27
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Free Lance, Volume I, Issue 46, 18 May 1901, Page 22
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1,341It Is Town Talk Free Lance, Volume I, Issue 46, 18 May 1901, Page 22
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