Wairarapa Jottings.

Free Lance, Volume I, Issue 45, 11 May 1901, Page 15

Wairarapa Jottings.

THE last Masterton fire, which made a blazing effort to do away with an eyesore to the town, has not been taken advantage of. More's the pity. For a tinkering policy at out-of-date structures is a mistake. However, landlords, perhaps, know best, and, in any case, the lessees of the buildings are to be congratulated on being enabled to start their businesses once more. As iax as the scope of fi" 1 buildings allowed, they have been modernised and refitted to suit the requirements of the former occupants. • • • The town clock is now within measureable distance of becoming a reality, thereby the thoughtless shall be reminded of the weighty aphorism of quaint old Theocritus, "Time flies and we are too slow to catch ringed things." Praise of no stinted nature is due to the official canvasser, w ho, in a short time, raised the required amount — £300. When the ticking monster looks gravely down on the citizens, our post office will be complete ; for it is only fit that a matchless staff, commanded by the urbane postmaster — a staff that act like clockwork — should have their turret crowned by a time-piece to keep them in countenance. • • • The Masterton Mounted Rifles have made a start — and a good one at that Their captain (unanimously elected), Mr. D. J. Cameron, is undoubtedly the very man for the position. The corps, therefore, is to be commended for its commonsense, which was further evidenced by the selection of Messrs. Carey and Watson as first and second lieutenants respectively. Mr. Carey comes from a fighting nation, whose "bhoys" are ever ready and ever wanted. By the way, that brings to. mind a neat joke of the present Australian Federal Premier. At a firemen's celebration, in Sydney, now some years ago, in proposing the toast of the evening, the eloquent "Toby" wound up with "Here's to our fire-engines — may they be like old maids : ever ready, but never wanted !" That, by way of digression. • • • In Dr. Butement, the Rifles have secured a surgeon who will look after their bodily welfare with a zeal and devotion only equalled by their fighting chaplain, the popular priest of the parish, the Very Rev. Dean McKenna, in regard to their souls. Taken all round, the men are as fine a body of mounted troopers as the eagle eye of a sergeantmajor ever lighted on. • • • It has been decided to hold the hospital ball on June 6th. Last week the leading ladies of Masterton met at the Drill Hall, when preliminary arrangements were satisfactorily fixed up, and Mrs. J. B. Keith was appointed treasurer. Signs are not wanting that this event will surpass all former functions of the kind. Still another ball is town talk. This time the gentlemen of the Hockey Club are responsible. The game has caught on, and the members are about to underline the event by a dance. Rumour has it that the elite of town and country will be there, and, if not, why not? J * * * The Masterton Municipal Band has, by force of circumstances, to go in for a considerable amount of "blow," but, notwithstanding, it is an excellent institution, well worthy of the town. To set the players on a sounder financial basis, it was decided to get up a bazaar. What racing and billiards are to mankind, a bazaar is to womankind — only more so. Mention of the possibly spread like the influenza, and the ladies rolled up to the number of thirty, and held — do not sneer — a downright business meeting, and the outcome will be that the flogger of the big drum, and the hero who valiantly inflates the boss brass bugle, will soon have a load off their mighty chests — (N.B. — That's not exactly where the big drum is carried, but never mind) — when they know all, all is paid for. Now, let the band play up "See the Conquering Ladies come!" * * * Tho employees of the Masterton Farmers' Blacksmiths' Company are a splendid lot of fellows. Last week one of their number, Mr. J. Wickens, was presented with a marble clock, to mark the signal event of his marriage. While tho matrimonial state is one that most men enter with a tremulous joy and a hopeful spirit, still it is yet more joyful when the lucky dog is feted by his peers. That Mr. Wiokens may have a long, prosperous, happy union was felicitously wafted to him in a neat and tidy speech by Mr. Pauling, the manager of the company, and to these wishes everyone in Masterton says, "Hear, hear." * * * A couple of weeks ago, a sac] accident occurred to a prominent citizen— Mr. Kdwin Feist. Towards evening. Mr. Feist was about rugging a young horse.

There was a halter round the animal's neck, and, just as its master essayed to throw the rug over its back, the pony jumped away. With rash but commendable presence of mind, Mr. Feist held on to the rope, with the result that he was dragged along the ground, and his shoulder was dislocated. Writer is pleased to say that the worthy gentleman is about again, with no appearance of the accident save one arm in a sling. As it is, Mr. Feist came off luckily, as many a man has been permanently disabled, and even worse, m a much more simple way. * • « The new Municipal Councillors have met, and, from the way in which the new men shaped, it may reasonably be expected that great things will be done. Councillor Renal 1, always in the van of progress, drew attention to a certain footpath, the discreditable state of which caused him, a few nights before, to almost break his neck. His Worship seized the opportunity for all it was worth, and assured the worthy couucillor that the footpath would be seen to at once, as they did not desire an extraordinary vacancy in the Council <^o soon. The Mayor also scored heavily at the expense of a late councillor. » * * By way of preface, it may be stated that there was once an Irish baronet in the House of Commons who spoke but twice — once he asked the) Speaker to have a window shut, and, on the Speaker ordering an attendant to comply with the honourable member's request, that gentleman rose for the last time, and said "Thanks." Now, there was a certain Masterton councillor who acquired fame by something ljke that. It was his custom, once a fortnight, to sit at the horse-shoe table, silent as the post-office tower, until a supreme crisis was reached — the end of the business — and then it was our man rose, with fire in his eye, to move the adjournment. That was his right divine, uncontested by any brother councillor. But times change; the valuable senator is no more. What was to be done? Once more His Worship jumped into the breach, remarking that, as the councillor who had gained celebrity in the time-honour-ed proposition of adjournment was, to put it in parliamentary style, in another place, he would relieve them of embarrassment, and do it himself. And he did. Of such great events is history made! * • • There may be nothing remarkable about a new coach, and then, again, there may. This time there is, for have not Messrs. T. Wagg and Co. turned out a dozen of mail coaches to the order of Mr. E. G\ Harris, of Martinborough. Everything that skilled workmanship could do was expended on that coach. The gear, braces, wheels, panels, painting (in and out), are each and all turned out with an eye at once to durability and aesthetic finish. When the denizens of Martinborough gather round this triumph of workmanship they will murmur as one man, "Who is Wagg , what manner of engineer must 'he' be?" In ai word, the letters E.R., rightly resplendent in gold, befit the vehicle, for, truly, 'tis a coach for a king. * # * A couple of worthy Masterton citizens last week approached the local office of the great A.M. P. Their object was to register their votes for the directors of that great assurance society. Be it known, anyhow, to the uninitiated that there are two candidates, among others, for the board, each bearing the honoured name of Joseph Abbott ; with this difference, that one, by gracious favour of Her late Majesty, has the right to prefix "Sir" to his Joe. The Mastertonians, while scanning the list of candidates, were somewhat puzzled whom to select, seeing they knew so little of all, when one said, "What say you, let's vote for the two> Abbotts?" "A good idea," said the other one, "arc we not interested in abattoirs?" Who wouldn't be a brainless fool With heaps of glist'ning gold, Than some poor scholar fresh from school Thrust homeless on the world ? Who wouldn't rather lose his wealth, Than coughs and colds endure 9 Then be content, enjoy good health, Take WooDh' Great Peppermint Cube. NEW PHOTOGRAPHIC STUDIOS. We respectfullj intimate that we have opened our NEW STUDIOS in Cuba street, whoie clients will find every lequirement for then com enienee and comfort. A special feature of the Establishment is the — TWO LARGE STUDIOS, constructed on the most modern designs, and supplied with all the necessaij appliances for lightingand posing One of the Studios will be lesened speualh for appointments, and we assure Ladies and Gentlemen of leceivmg most courteous attention r We give a coidial imitation to the Ladies and Gentlemen of Wellington to inspect these up-to-date premises. j Telephone, 1475 BERKY~& CO., : 02, GUBA-STUEET