Newspaper Notions

Free Lance, Volume I, Issue 43, 27 April 1901, Page 6

Newspaper Notions

HALL-JONES lias gi\en instructions that the Toko section must bo finished by next Boxing Day, or some of them will smoll brimstone and be out of the Mountain Dewthatis piomised Stiatfortl "Post." * ♦ * We beheve Mr. Duncans visit will result in gieat good to the district. He impressed himself on all who hcaid him ac an earnest, practical man, and one not given to making promises he had not the remotest intention of carrying out, and we thank Mr. Carroll for securing us a visit from him. — Wairoa "Guardian." * * * The jokist is treading hard on the heels of the returned contingentcrs Scan this sample —Simpson "What makes Johnson w alk along the street as if he thinks everybody is looking at him? He isn't a returned soldier, is he p " Jobson "No, but he is the next thing to it. He has just had typhoid fever. " — Waimate "Advertiser. " The proposal that the Duke of York bo called the Prince of Australia wa* first made in New Zealand — Melbourne "Punch." For years past a number of the most thoughtful of our Volunteer officers have condemned the annual Ea&tcr encampments held in this colony as almost useless for the purpose for which they were designed. — Ashburton "Standard." * • ♦ Ultimately, of course, we shall have universal pensions, and oui brief experience of the present arrangement shows that the public are perfectly ready to help on any measure* that would banish all idea of charity fiom the scheme. — Christchurch "Times."

The local marriage market is in a healthy state. Mr. C. J. Wood turned out four bridescakes from his bakery last week.— Clutha "Free Press." • • * Wo hear that anothei scandal in high life is on the books in Christchurch. It is assorted that the Divorce Court will unravel matteis. — Wanganui -Herald." • • • It is no doubt true that our Premier is one of the most wonderful men the. colony has c een, but even he is not peifection. — Palmerston "Standaid." * ♦ * In certain New Zealand cities it is appaiently understood that the loyal visit is" to mean knighthood for the chief magistrate — "a' for Ins ejoiy, and no for any good or ill he's done afore ye." — Naseby 'Chronicle." ♦ • * The latest intelligence fiom Wellington is that the Premier, who rides 19st in his stockings, has at last got fairly into the saddle. His best friends, will wish that he may not "ride for a fall " He has invested m a cob and is taking equestrian exercise - — Auckland "Herald." * • • The Trades and Labour Councils would be a most ridiculous body were they not so dangerous a one. They claim to be the poweis behind the Throne- — it is they who inspire Seddon, who direct legislation. Bitterly lgnoiant of causes, they are totally careless as to results. — Southbridge "Guardian." * * * Stringent game laws, from the time of William the Conqueror, have ever gone hand in hand with landlordism in its worst phases, and, unless our Government wish to see the thin end of the wedge driven further home m New Zealand, they had best be «arv in future dealings with Acclimatisation Societies and others of that ilk — Clutha 'Free Press." * * Australia would be delighted to welcome New Zealand into the ring In fact, there will always be some sense of incompleteness whilst the seventh sister stands out. "We are seven," and desire to be seven in one and one in seven. There is nothing to differentiate New Zealand from Tasmania, West Australia, or any other Australian state : she is identical w ith us in blood and breeding we have the same root stock , and in religion, politics, tradition, and all our institutions we are practically one. — -Melbourne "Punch."

Apparently the very people who have held aloof from the work of the reception arrangements are to have, as it were, a monopoly of the Royal visitors, and Lord Ranfurly has constituted himself as the head of the monopolists. Oh, the snobbery and distastefulness of the whole thing! — Carterton "Leader." • * ♦ The proprietor of the Eketahuna "Express" was fined 40s and costs on Monday for inserting the advertisement in connection with the Melbourne Art Union. The Magistrate presiding was the same gentleman who fined us five pounds and costs for the same offence. We would like to know the leason of the honour conferred upon us. — Woodville "Examiner."' In one of our local churches yesterday the minister announced that he had, during the week, received an anonymous letter enclosing £10, to be devoted to the church funcU the donor intimating that he had got spiritual benefit from the services on the previous Sunday, and he took that means of expressing his thanks. — Blenheim "Express." • ♦ • John Abbott, money-lender, W. Hellaby, butcher, and E A. Mackechme. solicitor — all recently deceased at Auckland — left behind them of this world's goods the sworn value of £92,130, £34,055, and £11,954 respectively. Which goes to show that butchering pays better than lawyormg, and moneylending better than either — that is, if you lend well and get good interest. — Paeroa "Gazette." One reason — perhaps the chief — for the decision of the Government to raise the half-miLhon loan in the colony is that they would then feel assured that in the raising of loans in the future they would not have to go abioad, but could raise them internally, and keep the interest in the country. This is the aim of the Seddon Government, and it is an aim which not only deserves approval, but support also. — Waihi "Daily Telegraph." » * * The underwriters intend mci easing the rates, which is the only means open to them of endeavouring to exercise a check on insurers. It is a poor sort of check at best for the rogue who wishes to make a cash sale to his underwriter will do so, let the rate be ever so high. The only remedy that could possibly have any effect is a public inquiry every time there is a fire. — New Zealand "Mercantile Record."

The factory hand is one of the lords of creation. — Napier "Herald." * ♦ * If Britain gets best, or if Russia gets best, Or which of the rest of the gang ; The smartest of all when it comes to a call Is Machiavelli Hung Chang. — Sydney "Sunday Times." » ♦ • We all admit that the policeman cannot be everywhere, but the fact that he is rarely anywhere, excepting when shutting 1 out the view at a public procession, is rather trying. — Melbourne "Punch." ■* * ♦ Some one once proposed to declare an open and close season for landlords in Ireland. Judging by present indications in Dunedin, it will soon be necessary to declare landlords fair game at any time. — Dunedin "Liberal." * • • We have heard it whispered that two or three old-age pensioners on this coast go "on the booze" every month after receiving their pension, and it is probable representations will be made to the S.M. on the subject if this continues. — Levin "Farmer." * ♦ • A gentleman on the West Coast intimately connected with gold digging recently informed a representative of a Southern journal that, during four months of late, he had made £12,000 by perfectly legitimate business. — Masterton "Times." * * ♦ It is veiy satisfactory to note that the Premier has abandoned his untenable you-w on't-get-a-penny-from-us attitude in the matter of the visit of the Duke and Duchess of York. The "you get the benefit of the visit and you should bear the expense" argument is grossly out of place on such an occasion. — Dunedin "Witness." * ♦ • The Queen's Memorial Committee in Dunedin have, so far, raised £900 towards the Queen's statue. The ' Times" says that "every opportunity should be afforded to the working classes of the community to assist with their half-crowns and shillings." The "Times" need not get excited over this aspect of the question. Every opportunity always is afforded to the working classes to shell out their small change for matters of this kind. — Taicri. "Advocate."