It Is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume I, Issue 43, 27 April 1901, Page 22

It Is Town Talk

—That the rabbit-pie public arc oft bunnies that hail from poison-intected districts. —That there never was a defeated candidate yet who did not achieve a great moral victory. —That there is only Gs 8d outstanding rates in Foxton Borough It has something of a legal flavour about it, this 6s Bd. —That it would be an eye-opener to Wellington folk to see the names ot some of the applicants for the Uinsteburch town clerkship. —That sacks of live eels are now being "trained" from Levin to Fcilding every week— a rather objectionable practice, surely. —That a love-smitten >outh lately sent his lady fair a pretty golden trinket inside a scooped-out, rosycheeked apple. "The apple ot ins eye!" That the sporting lady who retired to Australia a while back through tampering with horses and mining lias returned with replenished purse, and paid off her jubilant creditors —That an astonished Wellington Council candidate got three votes from one domicile for promising that their refuse would be carted away more regularly. — i-That the prohibitioni&te intend making strong representations against the appointment of men as Justices who are connected with the smtul liquor traffic. —That, during the voyage of the Cornwall to South Africa, when a sergeant was drilling a squad of the Silent Sixth, instead of the usual order "Halt 1 " he cried "Whoa' 1 And being fresh from the country, the whole squad whoa'd.

That a city him lefused a sweet Aoung lady's offer to walk or bike lbout the street in rationals, tor busiik^s purposes, lately. Tlvt theie is only one question that Picmier Seddon cannot .solve, accordma to one of his suppoiteis, and that i "the mm \ ant girl problem. - That, a draft pioposal of marriage which had been used as a book-mark, was found in a volume leturned to the library the other day That a prudish conservative citi- /, ness asked one oi the City Council candidates if he was in favour of placing a tax on theatre tickets. —That a Southern beak, in fining w omen the same amount as men for footpath biking, lemarked that "what was sauce for the goose was sauce tor the gander - That the reason why the Wellington dailies held back fiom tolling the public of the Lister "New York agency swindle, was that both had fallen m badly themselves. —That a well-known Wellington labounte, speaking on municipal questions the other night said he didn t know what ratopa\eis wanted to go in for these giantic sheemes for 1 -That Detectives Broberg and Nixon are the chosen of the Wolhmrton police to help euard their Royal Highnesses in New Zealand They are youns, but know a thing or two —That a veracious Christ church councillor, complaining of a fish-frying shop said he had seen ladies 'almost lifted oft the footpath" by the odoui that was wafted from the premises —That a certain tradesman, who has plenty of private background and was went in for bce-kcepmg as a bobby recently has suddenly discarded the pastime He was almost continuously in a state of bunged eye. —That a pastor in one of our city churches, in announcing last Sunday that the regular pulpiteer would that evening give his farewell address, urged the congregation to turn out in force to the "funeral service " —That contingent medals, struck by enterprising engravers m honour ot the departure of our Third, Fourth, 01 Fifth as the case may be, are now being passed off on guileless traders as shillings. The fact that they were originally ictailed at one shilling each does not count.

— Tli at a country J.P., who is geneia.lly severe on footpath bikists, has just been fined himself. —That the staff of one of the local banks was very much in evidence at Pipiriki during Easter. -Thai the cause for a certain wedding being quiet was a recent death in tlio family — bridegroom's first wife to wit. -- That a big cucumber fell out of a pretty parasol when its owner opened it out m Lambton Quay the other day. The childien again ' — That Minister of Justice McGowan is being urged by a mining paper to employ short-sentence convicts on "State prospecting." —That an inquiry made of the Premier has elicited the following answer —"Yes, the 24th of May will be observed as a public holiday until further orders " — That an aristocratic rover, called Compte de something, visited Wellington lately, and "let in" a local hotelkeeper for a round little amount one w ay aad another. — That some J's.P. complain that they do an immense amount of official work, while others do none. Injustice to Justices! The disaffecteds should form a union. — That a leading Wellington firm has juvt given the straight tip to several of its employees that there has been too much gazing on the wine when it was red, and that — 'nuff sed. -That the police officer, who went to Auckland the other day from "Pendertown," and wanted to revolutionize things, found Inspector Cullen had a backbone. Things are still merry. — That a travelling agent, who has occasion to pass frequently through Wellington, was dumbfounded lately on ascertaining that his rival for the hand of a local maid was his own father. — That a diminutive country magnate, five feet nothing, has added half-a-dozen inches to his stature since his trip to Melbourne. A square top-hat and frock-coat make, a big difference. —That a returned First Contingenter - who is lecturing on the war, and bhowina; limelight pictures in connectaon therewith — has taken in unlimited "chaff" over an alleged picture- of the troopship Warn era, which shows her with four masts. She had only three when she left New Zealand.

That judging from the scarcity of ordera, the royal reception will not be remarkable" for the number of transparencies. — That at a rural entertainment the other night a delighted Maori handed up a kit of watermelons to one of the ladj T vocalists. — That curious people are wondering the cause of a prominent member of a local club being quietly asked to hand in his resignation. — That the surest way to arrive at a man's income is to ask him what he thinks a comfortable income should be and then divide it by 2. — That a recently "reconstructed" official consoles himself with the idea that if his income is reduced his income tax suffers in the same way. — That the quaintest thing in Yankee advertisement is the announcement by an advertiser that he "trusts in the Lord only — other customers cash." — That the decimal coinage would be a serious matter for the clergy, seeing that the "threepenny" would go out in favour of the lesser "five cent" bit. — That a local insurance agent refused to occupy the same cabin as a consumptive on a recent trip north, and he was accommodated with another berth. — Thati some public offices are overstaffed, while others are the reverse, and the officials graft like slaves. Revision is needed from Auckland to the Bluff. — That one member, who takes an interest in the prison system, intends asking some pertinent questions in the House anent heavy sentences inflicted by visiting Justices for gaol offences. — That a joking lawyer, the other day, at one of his election meetings, asked by one of the audience the meaning of "in statu quo," said it was the design for the proposed Queen's statue. — That the Maori gathering at Rotorua to welcome the Duke and Duchess is to be on a gigantic scale ? and that Hon. James Carroll, who will be in charge, has expressed his intention to "knock out" all the European demonstrations. — That - 'Tui," of the civil service, was the best-looking man among the crowds who made the Wanganui river trip at Easter. The Maori maidens of Pipiriki still speak with bated breath of his lovely black moustache and up-to-date tourist costume.