Wairarapa Jottings.

Free Lance, Volume I, Issue 41, 13 April 1901, Page 16

Wairarapa Jottings.

• • • • LA.ST Monday morning a, little girl of eleven, or theieabouts, was sent home from school by the local dominie, or rather Dominus (with a large D). The child was ill, and the only escort &he was given was a little girl her own age. But a few yards trom the school, precisely opposite Dean Mackenna's presbytery, the poor child, cramped and crippled, lay down on the load, absolutely unable to proceed. Suiely, it would not be too much to expect of even a schoolmaster that he should be satisfied a child placed under his charge was able to get home before he decides she must go. * * The first of April opened propitiously in Masterton Early in the morning lokists were on the path of foolish fame. The ever-genial proprietor of '•The Club" paid off many old scores, but the man from "The Star" got his understandings "pulled" by the T.C. in a wav to make the melancholy man raise 'his left eyelid with the suspicion of a merry twinkle. "Come along, old chap, what's yours? I have just scored a laree order, and ... And the bar being full "our April fool did it for all hands. However, when he went to get his instructions, the melancholy one aforesaid raised that left eyelid, expectorated with the precision ot a Yankee judge, and gravely rejoined "Do you know, old chappie, what day this is?" It fairly broke him up. • ♦ • Mr W. H. Judkms is about leaving the district for Australia. The trying changes of the Wairarapa have proved too much for his not over&trong physique, and he hopes — likewise do his friends — that the wanner climate of Sydney will fully restore him to health and strength. With some of Mr. Judkin&' opinions many men may not a g ree — but all in this do agree he is not afraid to stand up like a man for what he believes to bo just and right. Such a man is a loss to any community, and Masterton can ill afford the type of man who understands not compromise nor expedient. Anyhow, he carries with him the best wishes of all sorts and conditions for his future welfare. "A policeman's life is not a happy one " is affirmed by the author of a popular light opera. That, certainly, was never meant to be taken seriously, for the man m blue of the present day is generally a happy, well-fed individual, on whose manly shoulders care sits lightly. But contrast his position, his independence, his almost haughty mien, with the lot of a bank clerk , and, oh, what a difference' The raison d'etre of foregoing is that certain facts

have come to light of the phenomenally long working hours of a certain local bank. Night after night the boys are kept at it, in some instances until six o'clock in the morning. One of two positions is true. Either the work is immense, or the staff is as we describe wretched fielding at cricket. Knowing what writer knows of the staffs of the three banks, he refuses absolutely to believe they are below par. • ♦ ♦ All this leads to the gigantic mistake parents and guardians make who yearn to place their boys in banks. The poor people are carried away by the aspect of an occasional dudish bankclerk, as he meanders down the street, a pane of glass in his ocular, a cigarette carelessly held between his lips, and such an air of universal possession about him that country folk turn rightabout and ask — "Suppose that's the Guvnor ?" • • • The Masterton Technical Association de facto — but still in name the Masterton Technical School — is the latest phase which that austere and remarkable body has assumed under the 1900 Technical Act. The meeting was held in the old Drill Hall, and thereat attended many citizens of note. The chair was occupied by Mr. Edwin Feist. There was much unnecessary talk, which, however, seems to be inseparable from public events now-a-days. The secretary, with a gorgeous and expansive bouquet flourishing conspicuously under his carefully-shaved chin, read a balance-sheet of great literary power, financial accuracy, and hopefulness. About the only speech, always excepting our patriotic, pertinacious member, was Mr. R. Keith Jackson's. • • • The great event of the meeting was a joke by Mr. Edwin Feist! The chairman — Scotch to the marrow — really got off a neat joke, by which writer ventures to think his name will be handed down to posterity enshrined in the breasts of those who love "a little humour now and then." And, now for the effort. The rain in torrents hurled its tropic force against the iron roof ; the orator, one hand eracefully resting on his slender waist, the other extended towards the rafters, had worked the meeting to a marvellous pitch of enthusiasm, when — bang! bang ! f went the rousing crackers of some truant playboys. For a moment the excitement was intense. Strong men shook in their seats, and the matchless oratory came to a sudden close. Then it was that the chairman, with subtle humour that baffles the comprehension of men beyond the Tweed, pithily exclaimed, "Technical Instruction." That broke the meeting up. Hereafter, one shall see new meaning in "a 'feast' of humour and a flow of soul."

Mr. W. E. Hammond, who was a member of the "New Zealand Times" leporting staff some six years ago, has just been appointed touring representative for Mr William Anderson, of the Lyceum Theatie, Sydney. Mr. Hammond w ntos me as follows - — "Mr. Anderson has several companies on the load m Australia, including Johnnie Sheridan, who is doing great business with a burlesque company in West Australia, and Maggie Moore, with a htrong company, in Victoria en route to Adelaide, Broken Hill, and Tasmania, besides the "Ladder of Life" company, which is drawing crowded houses at the Lyceum (Sydney). Sheridan will be through New Zealand in a tew months, with a budget of new burlesques, and Mr. Anderson intends to follow on with a strong dramatic company and other shows afterwards. I shall come over with Sheridan." The most amusing team that has yet visited Australia is "Johnson, Reano, and Bentley," three Americans, now playing with Mr. Harry Rickards. Their act is entirely original, and is entitled, "The Farmer and the Monkeys." Two of the team are dressed as monkeys, their antics being lifelike, while their climbing and tumbling is said to be extremely smart. These artsts are negotiating with Mr. Dix, and will probably come along to New Zealand before long. * * * Reported that Fuller's Empire Company retire from Christchurch shortly, in order to open at St. George's Hall, m Melbourne. John and his sons mean to give Harry Rickards a run for his money in both Sydney and Melbourne + * * Wirth's Circus has sustained a serious loss m the death of the splendid leaping greyhound Fly, which took place while the company were travelling from the Thames to Paeroa the other day. It appears the dog, in jumping over one of the trucks connected with the train in which the company were travelling, had its legs ho badly smashed that it had to be shot. Miss Joey Cassehs, well known as a member of Williamsons Comic Opera Company, is engaged to a Sydney lawyer, Mr. Lynne Rolin. • • •» Maggie Moore says that though Roland Watts-Phillips may have played before the late Queen, she has shaken hands with the present King, so there! -* * - Professor Poniatowski de Blumenthal is the stylish cognomen of a professional gentleman who is feeling the bumps of the back-blockers up Hawke's Bay way. The Hay tors (3), pantomimic and eccentric artists, stars who were imported by, and performed with great success under, Harry Rickards, arrive in Dunedin from Melbourne this week, and open with Mr. P. R. Dixs Gaiety Company on Saturday next. The Haytors were a draw on the other side. • • « Snazelle, who will be along here with his pictorial show "Our Navy," by and bye, is just now in Adelaide. The entertainment is mostly cinematographic, and the pictures are said to be clearer, longer, and less flickering than all predecessors. Snazelle still tells that comical yarn about the stuttering whistler, with which he has been doubling up audiences for a generation past. * ♦ * The burlesque bull-fight, which made such a "hit" when the circus was here the other week, is not always the wildly comical affair it looks to the spectators. Down in Otago one night the dog-bull Black, in a moment of savageness, bit Aougust, the dummy-clown, on the leg very severely, leaving thereon 28 distinct teeth-marks.