Entre Nous

Free Lance, Volume I, Issue 34, 23 February 1901, Page 12

Entre Nous

EXTREMKLY bad luck attended a carefulh - planned elopement fiom Wellington a week or two ago Pateitamilias hated the applicant for Ins daughtei '<• hand termed him a cad. dn msufleiable prig, and all the lest of it His suit Mas hopeless, but he induced the infatuated young la<Jv to clear off to Sydney with him She was to meet liim at the boat, but they neie not to be seen together until the steamei got under weigh. The gent pui chased the necessary tickets and boarded, and Angelina had her luggage shipped before making an appearance herself. JusL before the steamer gave the last whistle the young lady walked quickly down the Queen's Wharf, with a beating heart and a sense of appichension * * * When near the steamer, she trembled and almost fainted, on seeing her father walking leisurely up the wharf "Hullo, where are you off to?" the old gentleman innocently asked, in fatherly style. "Oh, I just came out for a walk,' leplied the pi with as much composure as she could assume, ' and I thought I would have a look at the Sydne\ steamer " ' Tndeed, I did not seean\one there I knew," returned paterfamilias "let us take a turn up town." And they did take a turn up town, while lover and luggage — containing some of her best toggery —gradually cleared outward bound. 'There have been manv bitter tears shed since , but, perhaps, everything happened for the best. • • • "Do you want a bit • of miltary straight-wire?" said a Wellingtoman, who knows a few things in official life, to a Lanceleteer last Saturday. "What's the tip?" was the reply. "About the Imperials." "Well, what's new?" "Lots." Then the man who knew something went on with his tale. It was to the effect that, despite the wire, saying No, received dy the Premier, the Tommies would get their leave extended and their run down to Rotorua. (This item of prophecy proved correct). Further, when the Representative Corps gets to Australia, they will be landed, and the troopship Britannic will take an Australian Contingent to South Africa. This will enable the Tommies to be letained in the colonies until the Duke and Duchess come out, and the soldiers will again become a Representative Corps, and

take part in tin 1 opening of the first Parliament of the Commonwealth. * # • This item did not exhaust the piopliet's stock of news. 'Premier Soddon aiso has his little surprise packet foi the great Australian event " went on the nowsgiver. "Let me give von ,t sin prise It is the Go\ prnment's intention to >-end over a New Zealand escort, or bodyguard, foi the Duko and Duchess, and the guaid wvil consist ot the pick of the finest bodv of young manhood in the colonies — the New Zealand Permanent Artillery " The Mau who Knew Something heartily approved or this idea, "for," lie added, 'we have given our young men (bar the P.A.'s) a chance to go to the war. we ha^ e given our \olunteers various tieats but the P A 's ha\e done nothing but drudgeiv whilst, others have had then fun. The Duke's Kscoit is a grand idea intl \ou'll see I've given ;\ ou the stiaightw ire '" * • » Theie is no place like a na\al camp lor fun, and perhaps the annual c imp of the Wellington Navals just about tikes the palm for hvehne E b The poor recruit has a warm time of it, but once he gets through his first year he entei^ heartilv thereafter into all the fun of the fair And what fun it is! Every recruit has to pass through a bantam at his first camp, and many are the dodges tried b-> the young 'uns to escape the ordeal, but all efforts to escape are vain. One smart .youngster, filled up with stories of dread ordeals, took his blankets and "dossed" for the night out ou 'the hills." Next morning, when he came down, the 'initiation committee" was awaitins him. He was seized, stripped, and coated with jam and butter! He spent many hours bathing and scrubbing himself in the sand, and it took him more than a week to get rid of the greasy mixture. * # • Recruits were in greater force than o\cr this year, and the Chief Funmakers provided endless amusement for the Old Boys. The new-comers were paraded in front of the Chief, who stood solemnly before the candidate, holding a helmet behind him. After a brief exhortation, the Chief lifted up the helmet, and, to the shock and surprise of the recruit, poured a hatful of water over him. This was the signal for the other Leaders of the Order, who stood around during the ceremony, to shoot buckets of water over the victim. Fortunately, the weather was summery. Then, again, old hands as well as young 'uns were afraid to go to slumberland, for humourists were abroad with black and red paints and camel-hair biushe&, to paint the cheeks and noses of those nho snored. Many a messmate laughed uproariouslv in the morning w hen he caught the first glimpse of a painted chum' And when "the other fellow" aw okc he too had a hearty laugh at the other's expense. The looking-glass explained the cause. Altogether, this year's naval encampment was a merrv experience for those who went through it.

Wellington seems> to be in urgent need of a Psychical Research Society just no« , which should not only investigate all cases of spirits (except those of an ardent nature), but should undertake to regulate the nocturnal appearance of spirits. This note is a propos to the Ghost Scare, which has been, according to the "Post" and Mr. Pethenck, agitating the neighbourhood of north-western Wellington. The Ghost and his imitators — for quite a number of lively spirits are now said to be on the job — evidently don't know the first

A youthful member of the "Upper Ten," who boasted a pretty face, and whoso dress was a dieam of loveliness, stepped mto a dentist's shop in Willisstreet not long ago, and proffered the request that her two top front teeth should he separated "just a little bit." As there was nothing the matter with liei nones, tho "gum diger" desired to know the reason "Oh, all the girls say tliat people with separated teeth are lucky, so I thought I would put daylight between my pair, and see how I would get on," replied the fair one.

There is at least one man in Wellington who is unfettered by spelling-book rules. He is a law unto himself. A local cychnc firm has just received from him the following application, in response to an advertisement • — "Dear ser, earine vou wants a finisher an polisher, for them their mashines i recken as ou i could finish sum of em i have rode a bike for 7 years so i am honest an don't mind wot ard work 1 do if you ave me let me no wot is the skrew. "1 am you "humble servantt."

principles of the business, for they are appearing out of due season, Chnsfcma*,tide having gone by. So far, the funniest episode in the Ghost Campaign has been a mock-warlike epistle from Mr. F. C. Petherick, in which he announced, through the "Post," his preparations for "laying the Ghost." * • • Mr. Petherick warned the police that after twenty-four hours' notice he would set out after the Ghost with a gun. That must have been a paper-reading spirit— evidently they "take the 'Post' " down (or up) there — for it was no more heard of from the precincts of Petherick. Its trail was next traced to Mount-street, to the Terrace, Salaman-ca-road, even to Whitehall (just off Lamb ton-quay). It is recorded that after Mr. Petherick's epistle appeared in the "Post," an athletic-looking young man sought out the spirit-slayer's address, and offered to supply another eun and keep vigil. Some folks say that this was the spirit it-self, which materialised for the occasion. On the eventful night, when the gun was. to w ander out charged with Petherick and ita mission, including powder and shot, many lovers and their lasses, and somo other people kept away from "Kirk's" plantation. Mr Petherick himself, we are informed, sta\ed home that night— and took care of the baby ! * • » There are some amusing side-light*, on the Ghost grotesquerie. A lover and Ins lass were sitting under tho sluubs in Kirk's place aforesaid, whon they were alarmed by the sudden appoarance of a moonbeam. "Great Ghost 1 " \olled the young man, and lie havS not been been to stop running vet. Other people have seen apparitions climbing over roofs, about chimneys, along fences, and generally in an elevated stage of existence. No one suggests Spring-heeled Jack, but, tho spirit, when chased, has jumped fences and disappeared down declivities that no ordinary human could safely negotiate. One individual solved the problem by finding two sheets of the "Evening Post" in the wind, hung upon a tree, but that sleuth-like explanation must have come from the police. * • • Joking apart, it is quite evident that some shallow-brained individuals are playing the fool, in order to frighten women and children. This sort of thing seems to be catching. One ghost now and again might be tolerated, but when a whole gang of them got on the job it is high time for the community to take vigorous steps to deliver itself from this latest and most stupid phase of larrikinism.

The story relates, to the recent mooting of the Wellington Racing Club at the Hutt. As is well known, strict watch is kept b\ the W.R.C. against the admission of hookies to the course and naturally the desire of the bookies to enter the forbidden Eden is the greater becaxiso of these res-tiictions Well some eight or nine of the fraternity determined to beat the officials, the police, and the regulations. So, earh in the morning, the gang went outo\ei the Hutt hills, and, when they thought everybody's attention was concentrated upon a race, they prepared to slip over the line and mingle with the crowd Their plans had so far succeeded that they were snugly hidden undei the hillock facing the grandstand before anything hardened. * * * But. the bookies had chuckled too soon. All their mo\ ements had boon under the observation of Jim Wai den (the club's private detective) and "Young Nick" (Detective Nixon), w ho bided their time, m the hope that thev would bag the lot at one fell swoop The interesting party behind the hillock included five well-know n members of ■the fancy." Whilst the} lay chuckling in the gra&s, the detectnes laid their plans. A mounted policeman was sent on a detour to one of the gates commanding a way of retreat. Nixon went round on the left, and Walden on the right, the trio gradually closing in on the nest. Two outpost* of the party soon spotted the movements of the mounted man, and, without waiting to warn the others, made a bee-line for Edinton's paddock. Then, when the trio were closing in, the gang took to the bed of rushes, where they lav hidden from view until the mounted man started on a gallop — and then the gang gave in. • » • It is the duty of Walden to warn trespassers (such as bookies) off the course, and tell them that if they are again seen on the premises during the meeting they will be prosecuted. In the case under notice he followed the practice, and saw the party of crestfallen sports off the ground. They did not trespass again, but spent the day thereabouts. When last seen they were consoling each other with a game of "two-up" under the lee of Davis's stables. It is not safe to ask "Murrumbidgee" how he liked playing Ikey Mo among the rushes. • » • A medical correspondent of the Lance, in a brief note, wonders how many owners of telephones regularly scrub their instruments p It is absolutely essential, he says, that they should be regularly and most thoroughly cleaned in order to guard against the spread of infection. A great many people suffering badly from consumption use the telephones, and those who follow them are just as apt to contract the disease as they are to fall off their bike, slip on the pavement, or lose their monev at the races. Those concerned will, no doubt, accept this little hint.

The following is the best verso in Ma|or Steward's poem on the late Queen — The hush of a grief too deep for w ords is over the land and sea, The flags droop low and the busv throngs move softly and silently , For the shadow of death, like a deep black cloud, hangs dai k o\er all the scene, And m lowly cottage and lordly hall the Empire mourns the Queen. « « • A good story of the billeting of the Imperial troops in Dunedin that the Lance has not yet seen in print has to do with the airnal of soldiers three at a swell house where they were to be put up. The trio were shown into a bedroom the furnishing of which, as one of them put it when telling the yarn "'fairly bulged our startlers," The mirrors and curtains and cabinets, the nictures on the walls,, and the fine linen of the beds, were too much for men who had 'lived in Hell," as the Britannic's quarters were called. When their ho&t had retired the soldiers dropped the sugar bags containing all their personal belongings, and gazed openmouthed at their surroundings. ' What have we struck?" asked one. "Why, they've taken us for dudes, suie-he!" replied the Cockney member of the party . * * * Their exclamations were interrupted by a knock at the door. Dead silence leigned, the Tommies holding their breath as though a fearful charge were pending. A second knock, and the Cockney ventured a "Come in '" The door opened, and there stood a bright housemaid, who said, as she curtsied — "Please, gentlemen, I have come to unpack your things for you!" The warriors gazed at each other, and then dow n at their "things" (the humble sugar bags), and, as the humour of the situation broke upon them, they burst into uproarious laughter. "Unpack our things!" repeated the Cockney, "Ha, ha, but that's too rich 1 " and, as the girl saw the joke, she fled precipitately. The last thing the host remembered hearing that night was a voice murmuring "I have come to unpack your things'" followed by three peals of smothered laughter. * » • Given out that a certain scented and powdered Society girl has been lately struck with a religious turn, and now reads solemn, church literature instead of trashy yellow-backs. Also, she has suddenly been afflicted with a keen desire to assist the poor and afflicted, and the other day announced that she would devote the remainder of her life to the alleviation of misery and the amelioration of the condition of the indigent. Her family appear to think that she has temporarily "gone off her head," and have sent her on a lengthy sea-trip. The girl has already refused several offers of marriage, if report speaks truly, but the time and the man will probably arrive in due course.

An Auckland racing crowd got a nasty gruelling at Hawera some little time bark, during the racing season (says the "Observer"). Being of a sober and health-careful disposition, the majority of the Auckland section retired to rest early at one of the leading hotels, carefully locking the doors, and, in some instances, piling the spare furniture against them to prevent intrusion on their innocent slumbers, after placing their boots outside. In the morning, the alleyways were made a promenade for a line of barefooted travellers searching for missing feet coverings. The whole of the boots were missing at first, and for some time a well-known trainer, noted for his sleight-of-hand, was suspected, and an enter.prising and bootless individual raked the tanks, but without profit. ♦ * * At last a certain bookmaker, one of the losers, approached a well-known young "crook sport," who follows the races for all hs knows, and offered five shillings if his boots could be placed at his room door. The boots came, and the money was parted. On his appearing before the party, shod and nappy, there was wonder on all faces, but he kept a strict silence and smiled. At last a celebrated horse-owner from the Shore, who was feeling a bit sore in socks, after special pleading got the "straight OTiffin," and offered ten shillings for the recovery of his boots. The young "crook" was again approached, but this time he shook his head, and said it couldn't be done. "Why ? " asked the astonished bookie and owner. "Because they all left in the mid-day train for Wellington, and are there now." * # * Thus a local fortune teller "They say it is illegal to tell fortunes, and that nobody can say anything about the future. What about the clergymen, then; where do they come in p " • • • Our military authorities will find it a hard task to entertain the Indian Contingent of warriors, which is now touring the colony. There were no "side issues" with Tommy Atkins, who, w r hen he was hungry or thirsty, took whatever food or drink he could get from anyone. But the Indian soldier is somewhat different. There are no less than sixty castes represented in this Contingent, which indicates the task before a Mayor who desires to do the proper thing in entertaining the men ' from India's coral strand." The castes are peculiar, and bump up against European customs at every turn. As an instance — One party cannot smoke, and another loses caste if they come within range of the smoke of Europeans. Others cannot eat meat, being strict vegetarians and yet another party can only eat of certain foods prepared and cooked according to a set form. Hence, it came about that during their stay in Sydney the entertainment difficulty wa.% got over by leaving the Indians to get and prepare their own meals.

An amusing tale is told by a Wellington military man who was at a smokeoh given to the Indians in Sydney during the Commonwealth festivities. All the dusky visitors turned up. including the members of the caste which prohibits smoking. A difficulty aro'seover these fellows, and it was got over by placing them all at one table in a corner of the room. And their table was semi-circled by a lively lot of European non-coms., who kept that corner ckjudod with smoke! A number of the Indians are strict teetotallers, and are never known to touoh a drop of wine — in the presence of another. The way over that difficulty, as the European officer of Eastern experience has found, is to invite a man of this caste into your room, pour out a glass of the liquor, and then he (the host) goes out of the room, casting an intelligent glance at the Hindoo and the glass. On returning to the room the glass will be found empty— if you happen to be on good terms with your guest. Again, manv of the Indians of the higher castes are forbidden to take fruit from any but their own caste This difficulty is also got over by the host leaving the fruit on the table, and making a short absence from the room, with an indication to the guest to help himself. Much of the difficulty of defilement belongs to the order of "what the eye (of another) sees the conscience may grieve over." • • • There are no less than 65 regiments represented in the Contingent, including some of the smartest men in the crack cavalry corps, such as the Bengal Lancers, Bengal Cavalry, Madras Lancers, the Punjaubis, Bombay Light Infantry, and the Queen's Own. Great interest will also be taken in the specimens of the Viceroy's Bodyguard, the Sikhs, the Goorkhas, Dogras, the men of the Rawulpindi, Poona, and Ferezapore Arsenals, and the Hyderabad Contingent (horse and foot). It is to be hoped that Wellington will make an effort to supply good horses to all the visiting cavalrymen, some of whom are noted as the best horsemen in the world. There are only five European officers in the troop, and they are Lieut-Colonel Peyton, of the 14th Bengal Lancers, who is in charge, Captains W. H. Campbell, of the 18th Bengal Lancers, and J. Henegan, of the 10th Burmah Rifles; Lieut. P. J. Pocock ,of the 19th Bombay Infantry , and Major J. Scott, of the Indian Medical Service. "The "big gun" among the natives is Colonel Dadbha, of the Imperial Service Cavalry, and it is he who will probably fix up all questions of caste, etc. • » ♦ Editor Fenwick, of the "Otago Witness,'' has not got quite used yet to the title of Britain's new monarch. He started his editorials last week thusly — "The message of King Henry VII. to his people across the seas is more pregnant of meaning than would appear at a casual reading." Evidently this is an example of "casual writing."

Poor little Flora Graupner, once the brightest and the gayest of the Firm & operatic artistes, has come back from Germany completely shattered in health ' She arnved b.\ the Arcadia, attended bv her father and brother, who went to Germam to take hei home to Australia. * ♦ • Mi Chas Arnold has established a record for Masterton. "What Happened to Jones" produced an LIM house. » * * * Miss Nance O'Neill made an suiuatuperformance down at Christchurch the other day She went out with a boating party, and got upset in mid-stream She waded ashore trirough some depth of water, watched bv a number of people on the banks, who were in doubt whether the actress was not reheai sing a novel situation in some new pla\ Molly Bentley who has been assistm cr for some tune back to provide Gaiety tor the Empire C'it> , does not soem'to be exactly enraptured with it. A Queensland paper says that Mol.y, «],? want, to come back to Biisbane ,eiy much, is not in love with Welhngton notorious as the 'Windy City. Writes Molly •Wellington is so_ miserable it's just pouring and blowing today ' IVe got to hold my head on simply can't keep a hat on. Poor Molly! "Iolanthe" is to be ichcarscd at the 1^'^'' "Yeomen of the Guard ' '«« Winkle," "The Grand Duchess, Kucldigore," and "Pinafore." * • * Clifford Walker is starting upon another recital tour * • • Thus a correspondent of Adelaide <-Q mz » __' Re Kelly Gang piece, lecently produced by the Henry Company m Adelaide, Kate Kelly (marr led) res ides m a suburb of Perth, W.A. The original Kate Kelly of the drama (Miss Ada Grantleigh, an Adelaide girl) is now hvmg in Wellington, New Zealand. The original Father Gibney of the drama is Mr. Fred. Grantleigh, now m business in Adelaide." * • * Peicy James, who has appeared with Dix's and Fuller's companies, is dropuing 'the variety business, ana is going oact to his old biz— counter-jumping. Jiy the way, Peicy is son ol a once wellknown and higmy esteemed journalist and poet, who, in his day, was one ot the most familial figures in Auckland. tr * * One ot the man} good points in Bland Holt's latest sensation, "The Great Ruby," is the able management ot the lights in the balloon scene. The atmosphere in the clouds just betoie JN oilman's sensational drop is splendidly managed, and the whole effect ot the colloquy in mid air is unusually artistic. « * * But the balloon itself gave the genial Bland no little trouble before he arnved at a successful result. An expert balloon-builder was brought from England at a bouncing salary to construct it, but, when linishexl, it wa,s found to be too big for the stage. Whereupon, Bland Holt is said to have addressed it sorrowfully with "Absolutely the first time one ot my company has suffered from 'swelled head'' A somew hat smaller balloon has since been built, and plays its part right up to the knocker — or rather the clouds. * * * J. C. Bain is gathering in the shekels from the gold miners of the Upper Thames. At so small a place as Kaiangahake he was able to sell "his house" for two nights tor £35 including all expenses. It is bettci than a weekly salary. ♦ * * Walter Bentley is in California, playing lead in "The Silver King." Ada Woodhill is the Nellie Denver and Mabel Hastings plays a small part, and sings two ballads. Young Hales, ot Wellington, is probably still with friend Walter. * • * Found in the album ot a well-known theatrical manager — "O what are your talents, iny piutty maid?" "My limbs are my talent, kind sir," she said. "Then I won't engage you, my pretty maid." "I'm sorry they're scanty, kind sir," she said. » • • John F Sheridan (the Widow O'Brien) has some novelties in Ins repertoire, which, in due time, he will introduce to the colonial public. They comprise "The Bnneogue," "Cuckoo," 'The Genial Mrs. Goldstein," "Lady Slavery," and "The New Version ot Aladdin " "The Genial Mrs. Goldstein" is the latest addition to his list of widows. She is a Yiddisher, of course, and is said to put both the Widow O'Brien and the Widow Twankey completely in the bkade.

In L. J Lohr the Foreign Office lias lost tlio diplomatist of the century Pearl? and rubies are always upon his lips, and his genial smile would thaw an iceberg. When he was introduced the other day to the Masterton Town Hall by one of the local magnates, he said with suppressed emotion, "I raise m\ hat to tins building , it is one of the finest of its kind in the colonies." • • * Florodora is said to he the hottest show that has struck Melbourne so far All the alleged charm of Ladv Holyrod herself is in her vulgar cynicism, which finds humour in swindling, lying, dishonour, indecency, and a lot of other nice things. # Latest rumour from the othei side is that George Musgrove has engaged the celebrated brothers De Res/ke to appear in grand opera in Australia fins year. A gaudy item like that needs confirmation. • • • The last English mail hi ought woid that Miss Belle Napiei (Miss Hitcliings, tormcrlv of Napiei), had been rnaaged to play the leading pait of Ladv Winilred C'rosbie, in "Hoaits are Trumps" (a Drury Lane success) tor a special fortnight at Southampton at Christmas Miss Violet played this part originally # Says Maggie Moore to the usual pi ess interviewer —"I love every inch ot Australia, and I am sorry that I shall have to leave you again in a tew months. It is my intention to be back in America, whithei T shall go via London, bv June. Howevn Mr. Roberts and myself intend to get together a good company, and some new pieces with which we shall tour Australia again before veiy long ' * * * Fitz-Gerald Bros.' Circus and Mena-o-erie (due on Tuesday at Bluff) in hve weeks' season in Sydney, gave {J peiformances, and close on A)U,UUU people paid for admission. The present New Zealand season will serve to introduce to the public the latest performers engaged by Mr. Tom Fitz-Gerald during his recent tour of the Continent and England, and another new company will join them while over here, so that the New Zealand public will be first in the field to witness the new 'turns. Tom, by the way, left Wellington on Thursday to meet the circus on its arrival at the Bluff next week. * * * Theatrical agents will do well to steer clear of the New Zealand telegraph posts when they are putting up then wall-paper The first prosecution under the Post-office Act of last session took place the other day, when F Huston, advance agent for a travelling kinematograph company, was charged at Te Awamutu, under instructions from the head of the Postal Department, with having affixed advertising posters on telegraph poles within the township and refusing to remove them when requested. Defendant, who had removed the posters after the summons had been served, pleaded guilty, and was fined 5s and costs.

A Mary Ann, who was sent up to Hobson-street last week to fill a housemaid's billet, nearly paralysed the 'Missus" in one act. Asked if she had the habit of going into the drawingroom and playing the piano, when theie was a chance, she promptly replied, "Yes, ma'am, I plays But I'll have to charge ye half-a-crown a week extrv if I'm to supply music for the family."