Newspaper Motions

Free Lance, Volume I, Issue 33, 16 February 1901, Page 6

Newspaper Motions

THE Scnptuial Balaam went forth to cuise and stayed to bless. Mr. J. Grattan Gre\ , whose name will still be familiar in the colony, ha.s been of late busy following that pious example Now that he is out of the colony, and has had opport units ot making comparisons with othei countries lie is fain to fall back upon it when he needs a stinking example to set up for the emulation of lu<- compatriots m Ireland. — Auckland "Obseiver." * * * School Inspector Morton, who was in charge of the Woodville main school for about seven years, spent a couple of hours at the Woodville railway station on Monday. His friends are still wondering why he did not pay them a visit. — Woodville "Examiner." * * * While Royal Commissions are excellent in theory the usual result is that each serves as a buffer for the protection of the Government against unkind knocks, and affords a few amiable gentlemen a well-paid and healthful outing. It would be contrary to human nature to expect a Government to appoint a Commission that would be at all hkelv to report against its wishes. Consequently we do not expect the Midland Railway Commission to report in such a way as will disturb the present state of affairs to any great extent. — Greymouth "Argus." « • ♦ An Irishman once expressed his opinion as to how nice an apple-pie would be — if it were all made ot quinces. In the new Australian Dominion we have to consider how nice a Cabinet may be when made of all Premiers. — Masterton "Times." The lot of a country newspaper is indeed a hard one. A man— a happy bridegroom — visits one, and asks for a notice of his marriage. 'It will be news," he informs the newspaper man. He gets the report, he sends six papers away to friends, and puts a half-crown notice into a Chnstchurch paper that would never deign to notice his wedding. — Ellesmere "Guardian." * * * Sir G. OBrien appears to be an official of no small potatoes in Fiji. He is surely something more than a governor — something, in fact, like a czar, or a kaiser, or something else very omnipotent. — Auckland "Observer." * * * If after making heavy i eductions in the Customs duties if after granting reductions on the railway and postal rates, and after spending large sums on military affairs, the colony can still show a surplus of between £300,000 to £400,000, it is evident that New Zealand is indeed in a very prosperous condition. — Blenheim "Express." In sentencing a female habitual drunkard to thiee months' imprisonment at Wanganui, Mr. Kettle, S.M., said that it was a faree — absolutely ludicrous — for him to be constantly sending the woman to gaol when she ought to be in an inebriate asylum, or some place where she could bo looked after properly. — Eltham "Argus." Ex-Judge Martin had the courage to appear before the world as exactly the man he w as. He preferred open shame to secret infamy and duplicity. There was no hyprocrisy, anyhow, about exJudge Martin. — Carterton "Observer." * » • Nearly all the Boards of Education in New Zealand have tried their hand at solving the teachers' salary puzzle, and they cannot discover the principle, or any principle, on which the amount voted by Parliament to increase teachers' salaries has been distributed or allotted. The enigma is open to anyone to try his or her hand at, and a reward might be offered to be given to the first person who succeeds in solving "Hogben's Puzzle." — Carterton "Observer." * * • There is nothing to be gained by any pretence that the present King has lived the life of a saint , he himself would the last to make any such absurd pretension. But of late years it has become evident that Albert Edward has lived down earlier indiscretions, and long ago he determined to prepare himself seriously for the heavy responsibilities that must devolve upon him at his mother's death In this task ho has succeeded. —Melbourne "Punch."

Suppose Queen Victoria's reign had been only a, repetition of her two uncles' rule. What a stimulus to clumge it would have furnished! What stionger argument can we conceive in tavour of an elective ruler? Great Britain might have been a lepublic by now. — Blenheim "Press." * ♦ * The number of bankruptcies taking place recently by people connected with this district is not a good advertisement for the place. — Eketahuna "Express." * • ♦ It is like cutting your throat to plaster it. Fancy the cheek of Mr. Kruger sending a letter of sympathy to the Queen in her illness — the old hypocrite. — Bay of Islands "Luminary." * * • Several of the Australasian colonies, including New South Wales, have, from time to time, essayed the working of labour colonies, but in no case can they be regarded as a success. The idea is> one of the best but its success or failure depends entirely upon the management, and under our political systems it is difficult to attain to a proper management which will not be interfered with for political reasons. — Sydney "Mail." «• * * Unquestionably, the visit of the linpenal troops will strengthen, beoau&e it will make plain to all, the tacit agreement existing between the Motherland and its growing family of selfgoverning peoples — who touches one, touches all. It will hasten the establishment of a definite form of Imperial Federation, by making the unity of the Empire more clearly comprehended among us. — Auckland "Herald." It is a curious commentary on the much advertised prosperity of New Zealand, go where you will you find New Zealanders trying to do for themsehes what they felt there was no opportunity of doing here. — Greymouth "Argus." The Englishman is a great individual for "bogeys." A brand of bogey which he particularly dotes on is the dear old Constitutional one, and whenever anything has happened the "Constitutional" is consulted in reverent awe. — Adelaide "Quiz." * * * While honouring the living, it would appear that we are torgetlul of the dead. We hear nothing of those noble men who saenhced their lives to the cause of patriotism, and whose only sepulchre is a heap of bleached bones upon the African veldt. — Waimate 'vVitness." * * * The British public heaved a heavy sigh when it learned the other day that a ten-year-old girl had been marched off to chokee, arrested by Chief Detective Chrystal, for stealing two pennies. Poor little creature! — Christchurch "Spectator." * * » N.Z. Justice Martin's resignation of his Supreme Court judgeship is another case of the other fellow's wife. Martin has the reputation of being a particularly brainy man, whose decisions were marked for their justice and commonsense. N.Z. scandalmongers are full of the gossip, especially as the Judge's daughter was shortly to be married. — Adelaide "Critic." * * * Indirectly there is no doubt that Dr. O'Haran has professionally sufteied by reason of the divorce court allegations against him. In two recent elections for Bishop he would have commanded a majority of votes w ere it not for the pending case. The abstention from voting for him did not, of course, imply belief in the charges. — Sydney "Bulletin." * * # The Empire has no distinctive flag that strikes the "fundamental note," or that can be referred to ai> the Yankee refers to the Stars and Stripes, or the Frenchman to the Tncoloui . We are no longer merely Britishers the Imperial spirit clamours for symbolic representation. — Christchurch "Times." * * • From an educational point of view the visit of the Imperial troops will be of the highest importance to our local and district volunteers, many of whom were unacquainted with "Tommy Atkins" before they met him in person yesterday. — Ashburton "Guardian." * • * We have the authority of the ActingPremier for saying that the Government have never considered the desirability of despatching a Seventh Contingent, and unless something extraordinary eventuates in South Africa no such step will be taken. — Dunedin "Star." * • * The Roman Catholic urges mistranslation of the Bible against the Protestant versions, and the charge is retorted by Protestants in regard to the Douay version. Under the circumstances, and until there is agreement as to translation, the question of introducing the Bible into the public schools must remain in abeyance. — Napier "Telegraph."

One important feature in connection with the public accounts is the fact that although Parliament sanctioned the transfer of £500,000 from the credit balance remaining at the close of the last financial year to the Public Works Account, not a fraction of the amount had been transferred during 1900, while in 1899 the sum of £440,000 was credited to the Public Fund Account during the same period. — New Zealand "Mercantile Record."