ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE

Free Lance, Volume I, Issue 10, 8 September 1900, Page 3

ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE

THE Jewish Eabbi, tha Rev. Van Staveren, whose silver wedding was so agreeably celebrated last week, is a genial soul for a parson. He has a very pretty taste in cigars, indeed what he doesn't know about cigars is not worth knowing. Also he has a laugh that's hung on a hairstring, and he's not afraid of "letting her go, Gallagher." Also again, he's one of the most warm-hearted men in Wellington, and his chief fault when he was a dispenser of charitable aid was that he couldn't say " no." He likes a game at solo, and plays a good game too, by all accounts. He's a rattling good colonist, for there are thirteen young Van Staverens. • * * The two New Zealanders were snugly hidden behind the big boulder on the kopje, the British flag on which was drawing the enemy's fire. One was an enthusiastic Imperialist, given to sentiment ; the other— well, the other wasn't. " It's this kind of work," said the enthusiastic one, as a Mauser bullet grazed the tip of the other fellow's boot, which extended an inch or so beyond the shelter of the boulder, " that has fixed things so that we can say the sun never sets on the Empire." "Yes," replied the fellow whose foot covering had been shaved, " and it's this kind of work that makes a fellow want to see a good old-fashioned New Zealand sunset again." • * * Fred. Pirani was duly presented with his portrait the other day by certain Palmerstou admirers. Pirani is a small man, all muscle and nerves, but he is a force to be reckoned with in politics. There's no one in the House quicker at picking up a point, and it is notorious that Dick holds him in wholesome dread. • • * In the Wilkie divorce case at Melbourne the other day [defendant being Adam Wilkie, of Wilkie Bros, the New Zealanders who built the Coolgardie Railway] the plaintiff said her husband took to drinking heavily within a fortnight of their marriage. At first they lived in Otaki, which she described as a " low place, all churches and hotels." Up in the Wanganui district they lived on a farm, and there was a pathetically humourous touch in plaintiffs account of how she had sent two employees to induce Wilkie, who was " on a tear " at a neighbouring pub, to come home. " The first man I sent Wilkie gave brandy to, and he didn't return, so I sent another ; later on, when I went myself, I found all three dead drunk." In Western Australia, when the ex-farmer and now wealthy contractor, got on a spree, he would empty three magnums of fizz at a sitting. Purves, the Jellicoe of Melbourne, was respondent's lawyer, and elicited the fact that plaintiff had had no less than A*23,000 from her husband. Whenever he got very bad, his first action, when the "recovery" was over, was to buy Mrs Wilkie some handsome jewellery. Finally he got too " giddy " with other ladies, and plaintiff revolted. The interesting fact came out in evidence that Wilkie absolutely refused to wash himself. Mrs Wilkie got her divorce, which is not to be wondered at.

According to one James Kenworfchy, of Patea, in Mr Michael Flurscheim, of " banking" fame, the colony has secured a prize. Mr Kenworthy calls Mr Flurschein "the giant reformer." But then the " giant reformer " has a knack of patting Mr K. on the back when the latter writes long and dreary letters to the Neiv Zealand Times on the eternal currency question. By the way, The Coming Nation, the paper in which the Patea financial prophet has embalmed his valuable opinion of the great Flurscheim, is the organ of the Ruskin Commun.ty, one of the many half-cracked socialistic ventures of the New Australia type, which have sprung up as the result of modern faddists. • # • Olive Shreiner would be a pleasant thirteenth for a patriotic dinner party just now. Her latest sentiment is that every trench dug by British soldiers will form part of the tomb of England. We shall have to draw the attention of Dick Seddon to the young lady if she isn't more careful. Captain Russell's father, who died the other day at the pleasant Devonshire town, Torquay, at the ripe old age of 89, was an ensign in the 22nd foot when he was only sixteen. It was the " Iron Duke " himself who gave young Russell his commission, in recognition of his father's services in the Peninsular war. Colonel Russell fought in the West and East Indies, and came to New Zealand in 1845. He returned to England in 1874. A good many New Zealanders were present at the funeral. * * • What's in a name. In an alleged slander case, at Supreme Court this week, defendant's name was Tattle. # • * A Bundaberg (Queensland) paper got off a lovely cable muddle the other day. It mixed up the death in London of Alf. Josephs, a big Victorian bookmaker, with the death of Prince Alfred of Edinburgh and Coburg. This is how it gave the cablegram : — " The death is announced of Alfred Joseph of apoplexy at the Hotel Cecil. At the Queen's instance the interment of the body at Coburg has been postponed from Friday to Saturday. The Kaiser, the Prince of Wales and the King of Belgium will be present." Surely this takes some beating. # # # Temperance advocate F. W. Isitt read Nelsonians a homily on the evils of brandy and soda, and other beverages, the other night, and during the course of his discourse he sailed in for the editor of the Colonist, who had alluded to the failure of prohibition when dealing with the report of the Commissioner of Police. The cold-water apostle said " the editor might write another article and ." He didn't conclude his sentence, but the obvious inference is that the last word was meant to be " die." The Colonist says that by making such a remark Isitt failed to substantiate a claim to be regarded as more than vulgar. * * * Mr S. H. Gollan is apparently a most versatile sportsman. It is cabled that he has won the Calcutta Gold Golf Cvp — a much coveted trophy in the golfing world at Home. Mr Gollan is at present running two racing establishments — one at Hastings, Hawke's Bay, and the other in the Old Country. He has also a breeding establishment at Mangatarata, and the station there is managed for him by his step-brother, Mr Louis de Pelichet, another genuine sport. Mr Gollan is a great rowing enthusiast, and is an exceptionally good amateur rider. No matter where he is he always keeps in form by going for long walks before his morning meal.

Book collecting is pursued as a hobby by more people in Wellington than in any other town in the colony. Home book vendors recognise this fact by the number of consignments of rare volumes they send out here for sale by auction. Quite a number of excellent private libraries are owned by our citizens. Notable amongst them are Mr T. W. Eowe, of the Public Library, whose collection runs to some thousands of books, and is stored in a specially built library ; Mr C. W. Benbow, of the South British Insurance office; Mr Charles Wilson, of the Neio Zealand Mail; Mr T. R. Fleming, Inspector of Schools ; Mr F. G. Bolfcon, solicitor ; Sir Robert Stout, Chief Justice ; the Rev W. A. Evans; and probably a good many more of whom deponent doesn't happen to know. * * • Li Hung Chang stories are in order just now. One of the best of them relates to a witty satire upon our feminine fashions. Kaiser William asked the big chow, during his visit to Berlin, how the German women compared with those of China. " I really cannot tell," answered Li, slyly fastening his eyes on the corsage of a lady who was present ; "we never see half as much of our women as you do of yours." .* * * It is no secret that the excellent reputation which St. Mary's Convent has gained for the training of singers is due to the work of Sister Agnes, formerly a lady well known in the musical world of Wellington. As Miss McClean, she was recognised as one of the leading sopranos of the city in church, concert, and even amateur operatic music ; but five or six years ago retired from the world to the cloister, and now, so report says, works with untiring industry from early morn to late night, training the voices of pupils young and mature. m # • Some of the music from Alf. Hill's " Maori " symphony has been performed more than once by the Christchurch Musical Union, and found favour with the public. It is strange that Wellington's Orchestral Society should not have given us bits of the recent work of its old conductor before now, hall-marked as it is by Sydney appreciation. m * * , A well-known face about town is that of the genial Tom Carmichael, the contractor for the Bank of New Zealand's new building on the Quay. He takes a keen interest in things political, and, although out of it at the last general election in the city contest, he intends to have another go in the future. He is at present offering himself as a candidate for municipal honours in the coming contest for Cook ward. # * # Mr Carmichael arrived at Lyttelton thirty-eight years ago in the ship Yambesi. He was educated at Christchurch, and served his time to the carpentering and joinery business with W. Rose and Allan and Sons (of the Cathedral City). Afterwards, shifting for himself, he was the builder of many substantial edifices in Christchurch, among which may be mentioned — Sargood, Son, and Ewen's ; Temperance, Empire, Southern Cross, and Rotherfield Hotels ; Exhibition Buildings of 1881, and many others. Coming to Wellington in 1883, his principal contracts were — Government Printing Office, U.S. Co.'s offices, rebuilding G.P.0., D.1.C., Harbour Board offices, Wellington Library, Government Life Insurance, Sailors' Best, Kempthorne, Prosser, and Co.'s, A.M.P., Electric Light Syndicate's premises, Gear Company's Works at Petone, and Napier Cathedral, besides being successful in raising the sunken craft Coromandel from the bottom of the harbour.

The changes that have just taken place in the Evening Post office, consequent upon the appointment of Mr C. J. Earle to the Christchurch Press staff, have led to the promotion of a very worthy and capable old journalist in Mr J, Brookes, who has been made assistant sub-editor. Mr Brookes is a man of London press experience, and, under an unobtrusive demeanour, covers that wide extent of general knowledge indispensable to a good journalist. MrWoolcott has been chosen to represent the paper in the Press Gallery, and Mr R, C. Harding, well known to printers throughout the colony, has joined the Post literary staff. * * * ' Lord Ranfurly makes most of Ms upcountry excursions between here and either Taranaki or Hawke's Bay in his specially fitted up railway carriage, which, when he gets to his destination, is shunted on to a siding, and serves as headquarters for his fishing, or shooting, or picknicking expedition, as the case may be. It was in this way that he and his party travelled up the Wairarapa to the Papawai fete last week, starting out over night, attended by a couple of chefs and butlers, and waiting at Pigeon Bush till the Parliamentary trippers came along next day. On the trip back to town on Saturday His Excellency's carriage was attached to the general train, and the Governor, with the courtesy that distinguishes him, made himself agreeable to the passengers in the public cars by inviting their lady companions into his carriage, and entertaining them at afternoon tea with the ladies of his own party. v • * The papers say that Kruger has sunk alarge part of his private fortune in the Boer war. But he cannot complain. He's. getting a run for his money ! And lie can run too. The way he " sprinted " from Machadorp to that crackjaw named place beyond Lydenburg shows that he* can well appreciate that discretion is the better part of valour. Yet Oom Paul used to brag that when " Bobs " appeared before Pretoria the President would be found shouldering his Mauser. Instead of which he shouldered as much bar gold as he could conveniently pack and executed a strategic retreat. * • • These beautiful coloured pictures of the British generals one sees in the shop windows are very misleading. Kitchener, for instance, looks quite an elegant ladies' man, save for a squareness about the jaw, and he's always beautifully barbered,. shaved an inch below the skin, and sandpapered at that— always according to the pictures. But a returned Contmgenter tells us he saw the Hero of Khartoum at Bloemfontein, and "he was all over bristles and looked like a chucker-out at a. low-class pub." * * * Some years ago a Wellington mercantile clerk^ when but a budding shorthand writer, used to attend all the lectures he could for the sake of speed practice. On. one occasion he chanced to go to the meeting of an evangelist who had grievances against the press of the city, and a. particularly poor opinion of the spiritual prospects of those who conducted them. In the middle of the address the scribe heard the pulpit thumper break out with the remark, " There sits a child of the devil !" Intent on his notebook, on taking down the sentence he paid no especial attention, but presently, as an awkward pause followed, he looked up and found himself the observed of all observers, with the lecturer pointing at him with outstretched arm. It must have been a pleasant sensation, but history doesn't record that he took any violent means o resenting the insult.

Mr W. A. Evans, who is contesting the Cook Ward seat on the City Council, has for years past, in a quiet and unobtrusive manner, done a great deal to forward the interests of the citizens and the progress and welfare of the city. His connection with the Benevolent trustees is admitted by his co-workers to have been productive of very good results to that institution. As a member of the Victoria College Council he has proved his capacity and energy. * # • Miss Ketz (the school teacher), who was one of the first victims of the murders by the aborigines at Gilgandra, had on the previous Thursday and Friday nights amused the family at Mawbey's house by telling fortunes, the reading of the cards being the same each night : — " You (Grace), you (Percy), and I are all going to meet violent deaths," she said on Thursday ; and on Friday she repeated it, adding, " We'll all be killed to-night." How prophetic her words were we all know too well. * # * At a christening the other day, the mother of the christenee, when asked for the name to be given to the child, gave it as "Enough." "But I can't call your child " Enough " protested the parson, "it's no name at all." " Oh, yes it is," chimed in the father ; " why, it's a Bible name." As the minister was still unconvinced, the sacred volume was turned up, and sure enough the father found the place. The name he meant was Enoch. Miss Eva Buck, daughter of Mr James Buck, formerly stationmaster at Woodville, has (according to the Examiner) joined the theatrical profession, and is to appear shortly with Dixs Gaiety Company in "Wellington. * * * John Flockton was seated in his showroom, grumbling at the weather and the dulness of trade, when a young man, with the light of new-found happiness in Ms eye and palpable embarrassment overspreading his features, sidled in. " Have y 0U — cr — cr — any cradles ?" he asked. " Yes, plenty," said John, scenting business. The young man smiled inanely, blushed self-consciously, and proceeded : " In cases where — where — when it wasn't just— just what you expected, you know, and — and — you have to buy cradles you know, is it customary to buy two cradles or — or one cradle big enough for both of 'em ?" John comprehended. He is "married himself. * # • It was just like Sir Robert Stout to make that special trip down to Otago to shake hands with good old "Jock" McKenzie, upon whom the cruel hand of disease is laid just now so severely. Stout in political life was as hard-hearted as you could find a man, but he doesn't forget that " Jock " is a " brither Scot," and that he carried into practical effect when Minister of Lands ideas that Stout used to preach in the old Dunedm days when he was plain Mr Stout, and a thorn in the side of the Otago squattocracy. * # * A spice of variety was introduced at a certain court t'other day when the Magistrate was reeling off the drunks. An individual with a nut-cracker chin, and -wearing the pained expression of an owl with a sore ear, stepped into the dock and explained that he had a very bad cold (a familiar yarn) ; that he felt very queer (also familiar) ; that he took something to straighten himself up (likewise familiar) ; that what he took was eucalyptus (astonishment) ; and eucalyptus made him absolutely drunk (incredulity). The surprised Magistrate, after gazing tenderly at the grog blossoms on prisoner's nose, said that had he kept his mouth shut he would have got off with a caution, but he had now decided to fine him half a sovereign and costs. Silence is indeed golden. » • * Last week the crack of the iEssulapian fraternity of Masterton gave a dance. His Excellency was not there. If the Governor was passed over, surely there ought not to be such terrible heartburnings locally. But there is. What an extraordinary complication is the combination called " Society 1 " If a medico chooses to give an entertainment, he must not ask whom he please. Oh dear, no ! He owes a duty to Society, and woe betide him if he asks Miss Prettyface, and forgets — naturally, writer thinks — Miss Sallowcheek. On the face of it the thing is absurdity itself. But within the ranks of self-styled Society there is more heartburning and bitter, spleenish, backbiting jealousy than is to be found among the masses these very patricians look down upon. For some time to come the feelings of the outraged ones will be eased by confiding, pro tern., in a new medical adviser. It is questionable whether medical men should entertain or not. Balls and sick are conducive to business, bat it would look rather better to let an outsider do the business.

The Patea Press has been informed that Mr George Hutchison's resignation is written out and in the hnnds of a gentleman not a thousand miles from Patea. Most people will hope — with a fifty horse power hope — that this gentleman is Sir Maurice O'Eorke. * # *

EE — l and Ethel — A Dixs Gaiety Idyll. At Session time, from Southern clime, To Wellington there came An earnest man, and you who scan This rhyme can guess his name ; But, if you cannot, do so, well — Eliminate the H from . To Dixs show this man did go, Temptation boldly braving, A girl saw there, in middle air, Her tootsicums a- waving. How sad ! he thought, that seats like these The Wellingtonians muchly please. He, in the House, commenced to rouse Against this elevation Of girlish soles, in other roles, Than saintly meditation. Un-knees-y is the girl, he said, Whose soles are dangling o'er her head. Then one arose, his suit of clothes Were Tinco' natty, spick and span, And said, " Ah, well, ma birkie Ell, Ye canna' but allow, man, When party summersaults ye fling, There's mony waur than this wee thing." Then one and all, both great and small, To Dixs off they went ; On maiden fair, with soles in air, Gazed to their heart's content, And muttered as they left, "Ah, well, He's unco' fashed 'bout naught is Ell." — R.E. * * * Mr Justice Conolly, of the Auckland Supreme Court Bench, has just passed his 78th birthday. * * * All the luck in journalism goes to the favoured few. Recently. His Holiness the Pope sent his blessing to the staff of the New Zealand Tablet, and now, Father Cleary, editor of the journal, has been presented with a purse of 270 sovereigns in recognition of his services. Where does the Fkee Lance come in ?

It is said that Lord Methven is going Home at once. One of the reasons alleged is that the relations between him and some of bis officers are '• strained." There are many people who think it would have been better for us if he had never gone out to South Africa. # # # The Bulletin says that Baritone John Prowse, whose pose while singing can only be likened to that of a starter in a 100 yds sprint waiting for the pistol to pop, is not supporting Mdlle. Trebelli — Dolores, she now calls herself — in America. » # * Mark Twain is credited with the latest war story. The other evening he was dining at the house of a friend, and seated next to hun was an American who had only that day reached England. They were, of course, talking war, and the newcomer, wishing to know the feeling in Britain in the matter of the future of the Transvaal, asked Mark Twain how he found public sentiment regarding the independence of the Eepublic. " Well," said the genial humorist, " I find the English are paraphrasing a part of the burial service. They are quietly repeating, 'Mr Gladstone giveth and the Lord Salisbury hath taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.' " # # » Miss Mary McMahon has been providing the West Coast newspapers with a turn of romantic literature by suing Edward Bellamy for damages for breach of promise. Edward, like other and greater Bellamy's, had a habit of " looking backward," and after he had got comfortably engaged to the girl, and she was thinking of ordering the wedding cake — which is the colonial method of putting up the barms — he suddenly discovered that his mother wouldn't let him get married. But, instead of going and telling the girl in a straightforward way that he was afraid of his mother, he endeavoured to excuse himself on the ground that the girl had been engaged before. And why not ? Some girls are engaged half-a-dozen times before they finally get married. However, it will cost Edward more than the price of getting married for trifling with Mary's innocent affections, for he has to pay a i£so verdict and the costs as well.