ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE

Free Lance, Volume I, Issue 9, 1 September 1900, Page 3

ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE

GENIAL Councillor Willeston, one of the shrewdest of our City Fathers, is always about the warmest in protestation against the levity which some of his colleagues on the Council are wont to bring into the discussion of municipal affairs. Charles makes no pretence to be an orator, but is a stickler for common-sense and businesslike ways. Mr Willeston, by the way, is a very old colonist, and saw some stirring times in the early days. One of his most exciting recollections is connected with the wreck of H.M.S. Orpheus on the Manukau Bar in 1863. He was on one of the rescuing steamers that went down from Onehunga to the scene of the disaster, and witnessed some bloodcurdling sights when close alongside the hapless warship. • • • - After all the gush in the Post about our " poet-playwright-journalist" Chinaman Special, people were just a trifle disappointed with Arthur Adams's first letter. It was mainly taken up with information as to what he ate and drank on the steamer, and contained also the strikingly novel information that the Chows don't spend any money in the colonies, but take all their earnings home to the Celestial Land. The Post should have sent Allen, who has been there, and whose articles on Chinese history in the Saturday supplement are capital reading. • * • Major Major sounds odd, and looks queer in print, but it is the correct designation of the officer who left us as Captain Major, and now has his men formed into an artillery battery. Similarly there used to be an Auckland merchant whose full name was Mr Captain James Stone, but who was always addressed by and spoken of with his first baptismal name. To the day of his death ninety-nine people out of a hundred only knew him as Captain Stone, and took it for a naval or military title. • • • Miss Hamilton, now retiring from the Principalship of Wellington Girls' High Sihool, will take with her into private life tbe good wishes of hundreds of " old girls" who have passed under her care during the last thirteen years or so. One of Miss Hwnilton's characteristics was the originality of her methods of punishment. Her Mildly nature revolted against the setting of hard impositions, and any use of force was, of course, out of the question in a school of the kind. So Miss Hamilton's favourite way of dealing with offenders was to send them out into the school grounds with an obligation to pluck a stated number of weeds out of the walks, or gather up so many shells, or, if they had been particularly naughty— ugh I— to collect the slimy snails. To feminine nature the last-named was especially repulsive, and proportionately deterrent. • • • Mr Clifford Walker, the delightful entertainer, has stirring memories of South Africa, for he was there at the time when Dr Jameson " rode in." Just then Mr Walker wns in Mafeking, and he had a hand in the distribution of the military stores at ibat place in connection with the famous expedition.

J. G. Ward preached at the Oamaru Wesleyan Church the other Sunday (80 the local paper tells us). But don't be alarmed, it could not have been the silver-tongued Colonial Secretary, for he is a good Catholic. It was the Rev. J.G-.W. in this instance. Evidently there are two Ministers of the same name in our midst. * v * A Te Aro youngster got off a good thing the other day — either a clever pun or an unconscious exercise in phonetics. Her aunt offered to take her to see the menagerie on show in "WilHa-street. " Oh, thank you, auntie." said the little maid, clapping her hands, " perhaps I'll be able to see the bear that squints." " There isn't any bear that squints that I know of," replied her aunt. " Oh, yes, auntie, there is," was the rejoinder, " the hymnbook says so ; don't you remember the hymn that tells about 'a consecrated cross-eyed bear ?" (cross I'd bear). # * V Fact, testified by exhibition of an exercise-book from a Wellington school : A youngster the other day ventured upor the statement in her composition lesson that " the art of printing was invented many years ago by Mr W. J. Lanksheer." « * * There is a family in Wellington that rejoices in titular Christian names. One boy sports military rank as Major, but is eclipsed by his brother, a young nobleman, whose baptismal cognomen is Earl. * * * *' If Wellington didn't give scope for Mr E. H. Mozar's vocal gifts, Sydney has, for he made a great hit over there by going on as understudy to, and substitute for, the leading tenor in " The Eose of Persia," when that worthy cracked up the other night. Mozar is fortunate in being endowed by nature with a delightful light tenor voice, which he uses like a trained musician, but is also unlucky in having no trade at his service other than quilldriving. And as singing is not in itself a sufficient stand-by for any man in Wellington, and clerking is so overdone that he couldn't get a look in here, he had, after a few months' trial, to take himself and his voice elsewhere. He should, however, be well on his feet now, for J. C. Williamson knows when he has a good thing. # • * There is an agitation at Home for the official recognition again of Cecil Bhodes as the leader of the British party in South Africa. Which moves the sober and levelheaded old Spectator to make a smashing attack upon the Colossus for his " folly and muddling " in the past, and his '• incorrigible recklessness and levity of action in matters of vital importance." Cecil's character is summed up in a statement that " to gain a small and unessential end, he will light-heartedly risk the most vital interests of the Empire. If he is keen at the moment on lighting his own cigarette, he will strike a match in a powder magazine, and d the consequences ! " One of the few incidents which occurred to lighten the awful dullness of the Stoke Orphanage Inquiry was the statement by a witness, that Brother Wibertua used to chase the boys up the hill, to get firewood, with a supplejack. Now, Brother Wibertus has not led an ascetic life, and his form reminds one of the rotund monks of old. The thought-picture of a portly monk, panting, in chase of a crowd of boys up a steep hill, invoking all the terrors of purgatory to punish the recalcitrants for causing him all the exertion, made the Commissioners smile, and they asked, "Was he as stout then as now?" The answer, "No," partially dispelled the illusion, but it raised a laugh.

Mr "Sana" Brown, than whom tliere is no man better known in Wellington, is, most people will be surprised to learn, an Irishman. His father was a Belfast man, and boy Sam was born in the North of Ireland. He came out to New Zealand in his nineteenth year, arriving in the extreme South in 1862. Certainly MiBrown does not look like one who is in his sixtieth year. It is recorded that when young Brown started work in Invercargill there were so many Scotch folk there that he talked as broad as any of them from his association with the quid folk, and so it came to pass that for many years Glasgow was thought to be his birthplace. He started life in New Zealand, whilst still in his -teens, as a contractor, and for the following thirty years gained experience throughout the colony as a railway, bridge, and road contractor. He is now a coal merchant, a member of the Arbitration Court, and President of the Wellington Industrial Association, and was a great success as President of the Wellington Industrial Exhibition. * # • It is announced on the other side that Mdlle. Edmunda, the comely widow of Dante the Juggler, intends to go on the road with her seven-year-old daughter. The youngster is clever, and is well remembered by the writer, who saw her with the Dante family when they and Manager Curtis first arrived in these parts from Vancouver. The youngster was taken by her parents to the show every night throughout her life, and used to sleep soundly in the dressing-room whilst her parents went through their business. She inherits her father's wonderful hand, and could " palm " a shilling even more cleverly than Dante himself, bo peculiarly was the palm of her hand constructed. Dante took great delight in seeing the mite perform palming tricks. A Maori has won a medical diploma in the American Colleges. The clever Native is Maui Pomare, a young chief of the Ngatimutunga and Ngatiawa tribes, the members of which occupy pahs in Taranaki and the Chatham Islands. Pomare is a Te Aute boy, and prior to going to the Maori College in Hawke's Bay he attended St. Stephen's School in Auckland. When seventeen years old he was seized with the ambition to become a doctor, and he set out for America, taking little thought for the morrow, as did his warrior ancestors before him. The consequence was that he soon got stranded in the States. He organised some lee tures, however, and donning the mat and gripping the mere, he told the Yankees some stirring tales of the Land of the Maori and the Moa and the Pakeha. In this way he got together two or three thousand dollars, and then started in to follow a course of medical instruction. Eventually — that is, quite recently — he got his diploma, with honours. Now that Pomare has done so much for himself, the Ngatiawa tribe is talking of subscribing enough money to send their tribesman to England and Europe to gain further knowledge. • # • A niece of King Mahuta, who is described as a Maori beauty, is touring the pahs of the North Island just now in quest of a husband suitable to her rank. Last week she was in Otaki, and after the inevitable hakas and feastings, the Maori lads of blue blood were paraded before her to see whether any of them were pleasing in her sight. There were a number of candidates, and young Tungia Te Ao, one of the sons of the chief Hema Te Ao, only 16 years of age, is considered to have a good chance of becoming allied to the royal family.

•/ Alex. J. Rand, who aspires to the representation of Cook Ward in the City Council is a builder in Newtown, and has clone no small share in covering the onetime barren Wellesley Block with homes for workers. Mr Band's father was for many years in charge of the navy construction yards of the Sultan of Turkey. Band pere's pay was always in arrear, but a ftivv years ago he effected a squaring up, and immediately afterwards removed himself and family from Constantinople to London. A.J.B. himself has a lively recollection of the spelling-test city of the Sultans — in which city he was born and spent part of his boyhood. The remainder was spent in England, and, at the end of his youth, he came out to Australia,, married in Melbourne, and arrived in Wellington some seven years ago. An. interesting career. • • * The Bey. David McKee Wright, the young man with the luxurious auburn hair, who has recently taken charge of the Constable-street (Newtown) Congregational Church, is a member of a literary family. His father is a clergyman whose fame overspreads the North of Ireland* and even outside, by means of his book, " The Brontes in Ireland." The Wellington representative of the family is himself well known as a poet in Otago, and he has. also done some short stories. Some yeara ago he won the ten guinea prize (first) in the Otago Witness competition, and thai paper published a good deal of his verse, the best of which is embodied in a book, bearing the title "Wisps of Tussock.' There is no indication in this little book, to show that it was written by a parson. , • • • Mr Flanagan, the gentleman in the Lands Department who promoted the several presentations from survey and other lands officials to the McKenzie family, is down in the Estimates this year for an increase of salary; while other senior and excellent officers, such as Mr Kensington of Auckland, are overlooked. Mr Flanagan, though the junior, is already better paid than Mr Kensington, and by virtue of the favours, already shown him, will take precedence in future promotion. Verily, it is nice to stand well with your Minister, and occasional presentations, for which your fellow officers find most of the funds, are useful means to this end. • • • Mr Albert Cohen, " our own " of the Dunedin Star, and the smartest special in the Press Gallery, got well ahead of his competitors this year by publishing in his paper a column and a quarter forecast of the Financial Statement three or four hours before the Premier rose todeliver it. But this is a perennial exploit by Mr Cohen. Personal popularity and long experience always give him a big pull in the matter of early news. • * • General French, with whom the New Zealanders have had so much to do in South Africa, is described by one of them, as " a terrible man to go." One of the British " Tommies " was once heard to remark, when passing a dead horse, " Hullo, Bill, 'ere's another of French's milestones." The road, it is said can almost be followed at night by the scent from the dead horses and trek oxen. • • • It is related that the Chief Justice came very near, when a lad, to ending his days in cold water, as he had a very narrow escape from drowning. However, he was rescued, and, luckily for him, there were two or three lads on the scene who knew something about the resuscitation of the apparently drovyued, and they brought him round. But it was a close shave.

A well-known and popular local banker is being considerably chaffed by his friends, because of a singular contretemps that occurred in connection with the recent Christchurch Dog Show. The banker in question is the owner of a magnificent retriever dog, and, knowing the worth of the animal, he sent it to Christchurch for exhibition under the care of his groom. It chanced that the committee awarded the first prize to the dog in question for a quarter of an hour, and then changed their minds and gave the first place to another Wellington dog. Whereat the groom who new the value of his master's dog, and who evidently didn't admire changeable judges, waxed exceedingly wroth and spoke his mind freely to the aforesaid judges. • • * Now the laws governing dog shows are exceedingly strict, and to call the judgment of the judges in question lays one open to disqualification for life. In this particular instance, not only is the groom liable to this awful punishment, but also the popular banker, the owner of the dog. The hope is entertained that the committee, in their power, may take a more lenient view of the case, and moderate the punishment, but if they do not the popular banker will enjoy the unique distinction of being warned off dog shows for the term of his natural life. Apropos of the award, and the groom's wrath, it is interesting to observe that the banker s dog won first prize at the Wellington Show on Saturday, and the dog which was given preference over it at Christchurch was placed second. So it looks as if the groom was right after all. Apropos of the two bank clerks who -were sentenced at Eangiora, and the suggested inefficiency of the audit, it is explained that no system of audit could possibly detect frauds like these, for the sufficient reason that the transactions never passed through the books, By acting as confederates, the men received the deposits and pocketted them, and, when the depositors applied for their interest, they paid it in the same way out of their own pockets. The frauds were discovered by the separation of the men, but if this had not happened, they might liave gone on robbing for an indefinite period. The cleverest auditor in the world could discover nothing of it seeing that there were no entries in the ledgers to discover anything from. It is also explained that it was not the country s money the men took, but the money of their fellow officers, seeing that the deficiency had to be made good by the Officers' Guarantee Fund. * # * The libel action Byrne, Mayor of Kumara, v. the Auckland Observer will be revived in the Supreme Court next Monday by an action brought by Margaret Hicks, one of the chaiwomen, against the aforesaid Byrne for alleged defamation of character. The damages are laid at £500. * • • By the way, Mr E. T. Wakefield, whose brilliant leaders and chatty " Cigarettes" in the Press are still gratefully remembered in Wellington, is now editing a local paper in Chelsea. The proprietor is Lord Cadogan, one of the wealthiest ground-rent owners in the West End, and rumour hath it that the ex-member for Geraldine has a remarkably soft billet. Wonder if he and Agent-General Reeves ever meet in Society. When Wakefield was on the Press,' he was particularly rough on W.P., calling him " Young lago," and alluding to Papa Reeves's paper, a most sacred thing (then) in W.P.s e.>es, as the Little Tin Times. Perhaps the old hatchet has now been buried. ♦ • * The other day, a Permanent Artilleryman's wife, who thought her hubby was to be ordered to China by King Dick, was called upon in the usual way by Ah Fat, her regular purveyor of " cabbagee," *' ladishee," etc., etc. She astonished Ah Pat by saying, "My husband go fight Chinese ; me buy no more from you." "Wha fo' " ? exclaimed the astonished Ah Fat. " Good cabbagee, good ladishee." '• My husband fight Chinese, me no like Chinamaa," persisted the housewife. " All a same good cabbagee," continued the Celestial, doggedly. He saw that no business could be done, and he went away, looking very crest-fallen. In half an hour, however, he returned with a quaint little Chinese jar of ointment in his hand. "You let your mlister go fightee bad Chinee," he said sweetly. "P'laps Chineeman hittee him, makee deep cut. This cure him plenty quick. Me give you." He pressed the jar upon the woman, said "good day," in his very blandest style, and was retreating when the conquered wife called him, and took the usual "cabbagee" and a pound of ti& as well. Ah Fat's smile was a sight to see ; it lit up all Buckle street.

There is a good story told by a parson concerning an incident in the festivities connected with the coming of age of the Eight Honourable J. A. L. Hope (otherwise the Earl of Hopetoun) now elevated to be Federated Australia's first GovernorGeneral. Church was attended on Sunday, to hear a Presbyterian pastor giving a discourse appropriate to the occasion. History records the opening sentence only of the discourse, which was, " My brethren, this world is full of blighted hopes V # # « Joseph Chamberlain was one of the " drunks and disorderlies " in a London police court a few weeks ago, and both Gladstone and Salisbury were fined for pocket-picking. Ruskin is said to be one of the commonest names on London charge-sheets. • *■ * An Akaroa man, named Reynolds, has come to the conclusion that a boiled turnip is preferable to boiled mutton, and argues that flesh eating leads to immorality. But what does vegetarianism mean ? The weakest, most miserable races physically, are those who subsist upon fruit and herbs alone. But, apart from this, vegetarianism is a pernicious doctrine for a New Zealander to preach, for what should we do without the frozen meat trade ? Not many New Zealanders will support his views.just as in the wine-producing districts of Australia, a teetotaller is looked upon as an enemy to the community. # • * Be Cassidy — Patrick Sarsfield of that ilk— and his " barney " with little Wilson, a correspondent writes : " When that Yankee celebrity swooped down on a suffering Wellington, and proceeded to show us how a paper ought to be run, he instructed another Times ' Charlie,' Charlie Marter, now on Sydney Telegraph, to ' hustle round the Chinese dens, and give Sheol to them for opium smoking and gambling,' and other villainies which Patrick Sarsfield said existed. Poor Charlie did as he was told, and after two days and nights' battling round Haining-street and Taranaki-place, and so forth, rolled up with the report that he couldn't find any gambling, that most of the Chows smoked Vanity Fair cigarettes, which he, Charlie, had duly sampled, and that police said other ' evils ' purely imaginary. You should have seen Patrick Sarsfield's wrath. ' What, no Chinese vices ? gimme that copy,' and he took it into his sanctum, and smoked ten fat cigars, and then handed Father Aahbolt two columns of Chinese sensationalism. ' Young man,' said Cassidy the Great to the astonished Charlie next morning, ' I don't give a Continental dash,' — only he didn't say dash — ' for fools, I want a spicy article, you fellows have got to learn the sublime art of how to do it.' "

Lord Mark Ker, that brave soldier and gallant gentleman who has just passed away, was somewhat eccentric. For one thing, he detested any head covering, and more than once he appeared bare-headed on a Crimean parade. His fondness for riding without stirrups led him to appear at the head of his regiment stirrupless. • # • Opunake is a charming place in which to take an after-tea stroll. A young couple who sauntered out one evening last week had an experience which they are not likely to forget. So engrossed were they that they wandered off the road, and walked clean over a 60ft. cliff. It was a long step to the bottom, but they got there. Only the girl sustained injury, her companion escaping. # • *' Owing to the vagaries of the electric light, the Wanganui amateurs decided to postpone the production of "The Mikado" — they got through an act and a-half on opening night — for one week, and one of the performers who had shaved his " mo " off, wrote to a local paper wondering if the Council would pay his shaving bill for that week. m • * Related in social circles that a rather interesting " scene " took place in a certain city mansion quite recently. A half-pint swell, who lost all his valuable dross a while back, and who is now impecunious and without employment, was a constant visitor to the establishment in question, and became attached to the eldest daughter. His sentiments were reciprocated, and one night while toying with a valuable ring which she possessed, he slipped it on his little finger and thoughtlessly took it away with him. On the occasion of his next visit she noticed that he was not wearing it, and made casual enquiry. He stated that he had left it at home. After his departure the girl noticed a slip of paper on the carpet and discovered it to be a pawn ticket for a ring, which had evidently dropped out of one of his side pockets. She at once divined the truth, and went down next morning and redeemed the ring mid many blushes. The Young man, who had meanly pledged the article in order to pay his board, was received with iceberg coldness that night, and when he saw the ring he nearly fainted. He is no longer a guest there.

Ladies will find an interesting announcement in another column from Mrs Haybittle and Miss Begg, in reference to Guest's hygienic system of face and scalp massage, steaming and vapourising. These ladies are the only persons in Wellington who are studied in Guest's methods, or are entitled to advertise his methods of treatment. They are also agents foF his specific, independent of which they are also highly skilled toilet specialists.