It Is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume I, Issue 8, 25 August 1900, Page 17

It Is Town Talk

— That a good many of the Cook Ward ratepayers are going on the Band. — That there is a rumour about town that T. G. M. is going to get his hair cut. — That the primary teachers and the technical educators have started upon a paper war. — That more than one illicit still is believed to exist between Wellington and Palmerston. — That Cambridge Terrace avenue of trees looks a sight better since its "hair" was trimmed. —That the wonder is that John Plimmer keeps about so well, seeing he is in his 89th year. — That the impartial Napier borough poundkeeper impounded a corporation horse the other morning. — That a local parson, discussing prohibition, said that when men cease to eat they will cease to drink. — That Councillor Izard is making a specialty of municipal financial matters — and a parody of other affairs. — That the President of the Bank of New Zealand unduly adveitised the Bangiora defalcations incident. — That Captain Ward, one of Earl Ranfurly's aides-de-camp, has been distinguishing himself in the Transvaal. — That according to President Blair, people should only invest in gold dredging, money they are prepared to say ta-ta to. — That President Blair, of the Bank of New Zealand, was rather lugubrious and dolorous at the Bank's annual meeting. — That some Wellington firms carrying large stocks of duty-paid goods were hard hit by last week's Customs reductions. — That Greytown and Carterton Councils are thinking of amalgamating in connection with the installation of the electiic light. — That it looked odd to see two ladies at the Bank of New Zealand's annual meeting. Two bonnets and too many bald heads ! — That Councillor Luke was pretty sandpaperish upon some of his fellow-coun-cillors when he likened them to ltussian censors. — That it would be interesting to know who are the people the' Gazette hints have been helping the Boers from New Zealand. — That budding lawyers in the city hold some dry, but interesting little meetings, and keep their end of the stick up as a legal trades union. — That someone ought to lend King Bichard a dictionary before he compiles his next Budget. " Enervating " seems to have broken him up. — That Brothers Loetus and Wibertus, who figured so prominently in the Stoke School Enquhy, have been sent by the Marist Order to Sydney. — That a family down South, which had gone into mourning for a son and brother killed in South Afiiea, has received word that Tom is still alive. — That cricketers are beginning to think " this cutting up of the Basin Beserve business " must be seiious, because the City Fatheis keep on saying nothing about it ! — That because a citizen gives some of his time and a lot of his comfort to the Fire Brigade, some City Fathers think he should give up his freedom of speech also. — That according to a Post corre-' spondent, the Kilbirnie-road " goes over the hill between five and six o'clock every evening." What becomes of it during the rest of the time ? — That, on seeing the crowd of school children in front of the new Post Office last Wednesday, the Premier lemarked that " marriage had evidently not been a failure in Newtown." That Commissioner Tunbridge's report has been severely criticised by prohibitionists who can't see why they should detect sly -grog and Sunday selleis, when a police force is paid to do so. That Captain Cooper and party are conducting 4< sponging " operations at the Chathams. The sponges are allegedly better than those of the Mediterranean, but there are one or two in Willis-street that would beat them hollow at sponging.

— That ex-Mayor Trask takes delight in speaking of Sleepy Hollow as the City of Nelson ! — That Nelson has lost two of its old-time characteristics — its pretty girls and its sleepiness. — That some butter condemned in one of our country districts by a dairy expert was converted into soap ! — That the only apparent objection that Maorilandevs have to fighting is that there are too many bosses. — That not one half the truth has been told yet about the Stoke Industrial School and its management. — That Mr Henry Burling, of Pongoroa, has just reached his hundredth year, and still feels as fit as a fiddle. — That many admirers will be pleased to see Maud Beatty (Milburne) as Pollard's-principal " boy " again. — That Agent-General Keeves will now doubtless act for another term, seeing that he-is to get a rise of £250 a year. — That the reclaimed land is haunted nightly by bands of larrikins who appear to require a little official attention. — That the Governor looked very lonely at the first Bracher lecture. All his decorations on, and only thirty people there ! — That it is a pity the Premier isn't like most men over a puzzle in regard to the Mount Cook site, for then he would " give it up." — That when a youngster was told to put out his tongue to a doctor the other day he said — " No tongue can tell how bad I feel ! " — That the Advances to Settlers Department has discovered a new kind of settler. It recently lent money to a racing club. — That according to Parson Bauinber, there are from five to ten young men in New Zealand who gamble to every one that drinks to excess. — That Martin Kennedy, an old West Coaster, thinks there's a great chance for New Zealand coal if the China War will only hang out. — That a popular policeman in a certain Southern town has made a little pile out ot mining specs., but is still content to walk his daily beat. — That at a recent elocutionarycontest at Otaki the competitors were handicapped, and the scratch man won in a canter. He is an auctioneer. — That Wellington South and Island Bay are going to get that railway — some day. We must get Mr Wilford into the Ministry first, though. — That the owner of the Christchurch double winner, Record Reign, lost a ring valued at £250 in the street on the night of the trots there. — That during July the Colonial Ammunition Company turned out and deliveied to the Government no less than 200,000 rounds of ammunition. — That Government, instead of handing over notorious Buckle-street to the Council, has actually been generous enough to vote £25 towards repairing it. — That Dr. Fyffe put his finger on the spot when he wrote that it was the rich property owners who refused to give their poor tenants up-to-date drainage. — That the girls they left behind them are just as anxious as the Premier that " our boys " should not join any force that will keep them away from the colony. — That when the Canterbury football representatives arrived at Queen's Wharf the other day, Scribe Coffey was the sole receptionist. The ship came in too soon ! — That a Napier lady who attended a "Novelists and Poetry" social evening with a gas bill pinned to her dress said it meant " The Charge ot the Light Brigade." — That a valuable horse bought by the New Plymouth Borough Council proved a most pronounced jibber, and he is now being used m a plough to lid him of his playful eccentricities. — That a legislator is in favour of " opening the Bankruptcy Court to all classes of persons." But anybody can get there who likes. The Chinkie and Jack Maori " have been there." — That the Peace memorial chapels proposed to be erected in different parts of the colony will of necessity be sectarian in character, although the whole community is to be asked to subscribe. — That some Maoris have three names — their real one, the one their mates know them by, and the one they give the storekeeper to increase latter's difficulty of suing them if they can't collect. — That Nelson Educational Board intends securing a first-class dressmaker to teach teacheis and older scholars in various centres. Sewing is taught at present, but it is for the most pait merely making stitches and spoiling good material.

—That a solicitor in Wellington Supreme Court the other day by mistake obtained judgment against his own client. — That the demise (by defeat) of a New Plymouth football club was announced by suspending a miniature coffin, with the Club's name thereon, in a prominent place in the main street. — That, according to Mr G. M. Kebbell, " silver was plentiful as stones in Jerusalem in King Solomon's time, and in King Seddon's time gold is so plentiful that it is hard to keep down profits." — That the Wellington police should follow the Christchurch example, and make an effort to reduce all barmaids' working hours down to at least ten hours per day. Why not a six or eight hour day ? — That a city firm who paid £500 duty on some kerosene last week, made some fiery observations over their coffee next morning when they discovered that the duty had been removed by Government. — That Corporation Inspector Doyle got a little bit mixed when he said in Court that the Acclimatisation Society (!) complained of the great trouble caused them by goats being allowed within the city. — That although dredging companies are compelled by law to publish returns of gold won, private dredges are not, and an accurate estimate of the monthly yields cannot consequently be arrived at. — That the mouths of some of our legislators perceptibly watered when Mr Hornsby said he had been offered a substantial bribe and had refused it. That £500 would not be safe in some political quarters we know of. — That hygiene lecturer Mrs Bracher says she intends to advise all the single men in this colony to marry only those women who have studied hygiene. But, says a girl of our acquaintance, the johnnies won't marry at all. — That a " Jay Pee " in Wellington Supreme Court judicially remarked last week that the best way to punish the boy before the Court was to shoot him in the neck with a pea-iifle, just as the boy had shot a dog, but " the law does not quite allow us to do that." — That the Court proceedings against a voluble woman last week, which ended in her being bound over to keep the peace to all and sundry, were only taken when a petition signed by every resident in the locality had been presented to the police praying that something should be done " to abate this intolerable nuisance."