WAIRARAPA JOTTINGS.

Free Lance, Volume I, Issue 5, 4 August 1900, Page 18

WAIRARAPA JOTTINGS.

The Masterton Hockey Club 1 That%s the latest. Now sporting society is divided in " the Wairarapa " into three distinct classes. First and foremost cornea' tne golfocracy. This class reigns supreme. If one plays golf, don't you know, no further warrant of gentility is needed, though alas! these blue-blooded gentry, with an affectation for knickers, display, as a rule, miserable calf development. Next to the golfers comes the hockey fraternity, a very superior type, nothing common. Oh, no! While, perhaps, a little lower than the Gods of Golf, they are accountable for considerable swagger. The name itself shows side. The game is not "hockey," but " hurling. ' It is related that when an excellent Irishman, having been duly absolved and cleansed for the last time, appeared at the gate of Nervana, he found not St. Peter, but his patron saint St. Patrick. It is easy to imagine the joy that overflowed the candidate for celestial honours when he recognised the delightful accents of the good saint. " Arrah, St. ™,™™> and is it you kapes the gate ?" " Thrae for you, Misther Mulligan," replied the saint, " I am relaying St. Pether. " Relaying St. Pether ! And phere is it the howly saint is now ?" " Come close, Misther Mulligan, he's away at a game ot Hurling." «' • • In the light of that hitherto unpublished sketch from the realms of the blest, it is evident that " Hurlin' " is a popular pastime there. And if " Hurlin' "is highsounding enough for St. Peter, well, moderately, it should suit the second-class gentry of the Wairarapa. Last of all comes the common, or garden, football crowd. When Dick and Tom, and even 'Arry display their bone and muscle on the football field it is time for noblemen (in disguise— very much) to draw the line. But footballers have the advantage ot being genuine. They play their favourite garni because they like it, not because "it's quite the thing, old chappie 1 Further, ladies would much sooner see one football match, though the players were all butcher boys, than all the troll and Hurlin' in creation, except the players were all like Stanley Hume. Thank you, " Colonel," mines a shandy without any lemonade. « • * The local Pinero, George Goodall, is now resting on his oars. That is but natural, for " The Relief of Ladysmith " was an exhausting and gigantic effort. If George would submit to have his excellent dramatic efforts sub-edited, his plays would run with smoother rythni. As a sidelight on the drama, passing reference may be made to the law episode resulting therefrom. To make anything of local interest a success, local nips must be indulged, and the reference to the man who was wont to visit an hotel where a certain fair Hebe shed her charms around, also ale, ought to be considered a compliment. It is satisfactory to know the S.M. sided with 'Ansome George. • * • At the Masterton Literary Society, last week, Mr W. S. Crawfords paper on

" Character Sketches" was an eye-opener. The chairman showed .himself somewhat of a " raw sun" by passingly objecting to a little idyll introduced by the speaker of the "evening. 1 The rhyme in question is one of the brilliant sparkles of the Bui* letin's Melbourne correspondent, but, lest I should also shock the Fkee 'Lance readers, I shall not quote it.

The Masterton Pullet Show was a great affair. Old roosters, speckled hens, newly fledged chicks, half-breeds, whole breeds, and no breeds at all, were there on all sides. And the public — same classes — looked on. The energetic and handsome head of the firm of Hooper Bros, was the leading spirit of the show. He is an ideal organiser, works with untold energy, shows consideration to most, and affability to all. In short, he is a fine pld game rooster himself.

Stanley Hume has left Masterton. There does not appear to be much in that simple sentence, but it means untold aching hearts in the district. Nine iliac lachrymce. " The Colonel" was a nice boy, and on the links his supple figure showed to fine advantage. l The average ''bank clerk is an excellent ad. for his tailor, but Stanley was miles above that — a tip-top comrade, and, when the occasion 'demanded it, could be a successful lion vivant.