It Is Town Talk

Free Lance, Volume I, Issue 4, 28 July 1900, Page 5

It Is Town Talk

— That "T " still stands for " Trouble " with the U.S.S. Co's boats. — That the Newtown convent will be opened by Archbishop Redwood in a few week's time ? — That the " pleasantest kind of labour dispute" is one which does not reach publicity. — That some of the dredges in the South bring up more big healthy boulders than they do gold. — That John Hutcheson is captain, first mate and little middy of the Parliamentary independent party. — That Chinese fruiterers complain of a slackness in trade since the wholesale massacres in Flowery Land. — That if the honorariums of M's.H.R. are not raised, as proposed, they are not likely to go out on strike. — That an alleged New Zealander, at the Cape, lately advertised asking offers for a Queen's Chocolate box (full). — That the Government intends issuing war medals to the contingents. Will the War Office recognise them, if it does so ? — That the amiable Crewes (conciliator) considers that recommendations objectionable to both sides in a dispute is " a fair thing." — That the old story of the perfidy of the smooth-tongued lodger was once again narrated at the Wellington Divorce Court last week. — That one New Zealand contingenter became enamoured of a Boer frau on the line of march, and isn't likely to return here after the war. — That a Wellington lady, who won a small cash prize in one of TattersalFs sweeps lately, posted it right away to faminestricken India. — That that Gore city father wasn't far out when he stated recently that nearly every borough council in the colony was living on its next year's income. — That, according to Commissioner Tunbridge, there is a good demand for crime, and as in any other part of the social scheme, the commodity wanted it duly supplied. — That the tell-tale lights in our large warehouses and mercanti c offices every night indicate how much overtime unfortunate clerks work. Is it without extra pay? — That the Education Board has frightened six years' growth out of the thirty or forty teachers on whom it lias suddenly descended with notices that they may have to quit. — That Poultry - expert Bannister was in the seventh heaven of delight when he escorted the Governor among the fowl-pens at the poultry show, and got gubernatorial admiration of his own pet birds. — That the shipping cognoscenti, who ventured the dismal prophecy that the Taupo would share the fate of her sister ship, the Ohau, never dreamt that their forecast would be so speedily fulfilled.

— That the 'Hon. J-t-M. Twotney is not a success as a horse legislator. — That Geraldine people are off buying rabbits from boys who pick them up within the poisoned areas. — That some English firms have" been very busy lately manufacturing war relics of &\l descriptions. — That people are wondering what has become of the Wellington branch of the New Zealand Natives Association. — That settling seamen's troubles is said to be a case of " treading on dangerous ground " Why not treading water? — That some Wanganui people want their museum opened for a couple of hours on Sundays. And why not ? — That a lucky investor in Southern dredges, who sold out handsomely, can now afford to take wine with his dinner. — That a prominent man about town objected to giving an old friend a power of eternity whilst absent in America. — That Conciliator H. Field attended his first banquet at the Yorkshire reunion last week He drank water (aerated) all night. — That Mr Seddon sent a party of political organisers down to Waihemo to work the district for Guffie. But they fel , nevertheless. — That if the loeaL Women's Political League don't (so they say) want to see their sex in .Parliament, what on earth do they want ? — That a Christchurch financial Collossus recently averred that "Trades unionism is to labour what capital is to the employ er." — That Fred Haybittle is probably the only man in the British Empire who dared to play a tiick on the Prince of Wales in order to win a wager. — That Mr Justice Martin told U.S.S. Manager Kennedy in the Arbitration Court that the Company was too kind to its seamen on the six hour watch. —That Guffie, beaten by T. Mackenzie, is a very indifferent campaigner, and was too tired to turn up at a couple of meetings he was to have addressed. — That a man who failed to get a good billet the other day said he had moved all the powers of — Seddon, heaven and earth ! The precedence of Seddon ! — That there is no end of flustration among the chemists just now over reduced prices. One man lowered the tariff, and all the rest have been obliged to follow suit. — That the more persistent citizens are regarding the convusion of Mounc Cook gaol into a university the more obstinato Seddon is that it will be nothing of the kind. — That the payments for old-age pensions now amount to the substantial sum of £200,000 a year. Seddon never dreamt that tnere were so many qualified old 'uns in onr midst. — That it cost two Austrians, who had refused to paj £1 tor a gum license, £16 odd at court. The foreigners said they thougut the ranger was only trying to " pull their legs." — That Mr J. D. Nathan intends to go in for political life at the next general election, Jie has an eye on a Wellington seat, and says he will be more radical than Premier Seddon. — That the Government offered £1 to Mi. Bridges for stopping an engine before it got to a bad wash-out between Aramoho and Wanganui. Can the finances of the Colony stand this ? — That some interesting revelations are expected to be the outcome of the appointment of a Commission to enquire into the serious allegations made in connection with the Stoke Industrial School. — That no matter where Governor. General Hopetoun's domicile is fixed, he will be away from home half his time. Nothing pleases him better than to meander round the country " seeing things." — That thousands who fall by the wayside in Inftia through pestilence and famine are devoured by dogs, vultures and jackals. Dogs running about with children's limbs in their jaws is a common sight. — That the Christchurch City Council intends making a by-law for the issue of licenses and the regulations of juvenile flower and newspaper vendors. Surely they might leave the little newsboys alone. — That, although there's supposed to be " nothing like leather," the .Labour Department says that bootmakers don't share in the general prosperity of the last twelve months. One paper printed it " bookmakers." — That Professor Lazerne had in Wellington some of the experience of the proverbial prophet in his own country. He giew up as a lad among us, and though he has bince made a professional reputation in othei parts ot the world, there were not a few Wellingtonians who held there couldn't be anything in it, and so didn't trouble to go and see.

— That Harold Beauchamp, is 'the proudest man in town since he becande Chair* man of the Harbour Board. — That a bible in Christchurch Supreme Court is inscribed " strongly bound with a view to standing hard'swetmng." — That, according to Magistrate Beetham, a man is not to be judged a vagrant because he keeps bad company. — That E. M. Smith intends visiting England after the session in connection with the exploitation of Taranaki iron sand. — That a "professional tatooer," who said he was earning £3 a week, and who was living with others in a tent at Christchurch, was sent up for three months under the Vagrant Act. — That there was much profanity when a sixteen stone citizen stumbled over a dog iv Cuba-street the other day. The Council should pass a by-law prohibiting dogs from walking on footpaths. — That a certain toney youth has been unmercifully chaffed since he inadvertently left a bottle of whiskerine orUiis dress-ing-table and the housemaid whispered it gently to the other boarders. — That Wellington is not the onlyplace where loud complaint is made about the delay in inspection of vessels by the health, officer. Auckland has been kicking up a. dust in respect to vessels arriving from the Islands. — That our Legislative Councillors, when discussing the Children's Protection. Bill, did not seem to think about what " discreet women " who would be out all hours, looking after youthful wayfarers, would be exposed to. — That they must get a special kind of hail shower at Te Awamutu. when, according to a veracious local historian, the stones came down in the shape of pipes, boots, pigs' heads, hen's eggs, star shaped, and marbles. — That a Te Aro man, who had been given £1 by his wife for investment on the big dividend-payer last week, wished he had been born a caterpillar when he saw the horse romp in. He had generously backed a. •' moral" tor her. — That an up-to-date and commodious building is shortly to be erected for the Public Trust staff. The site is, as yet, undecided upon, but in all probability it will be one of the vacant sections near the Supreme Court buildings. — That fraudulent pretenders in the sphere of medicine, as in other spheres, merit suppression. The man who possesses little medical knowledge, and yet claims to be a doctor of medicine, is an imposter of the most dangerous kind. — That matters musical in Welling* ton have never been so deadly dull as they are just now. The Choral Society and Liedertafel suspended, the Madrigal Society just 'dragging along, and only the Orchestral Society giving any decent evidence of its survival. — That the local printers lost a good part of the substance in grasping at the shadow. They were offered by the newspaper proprietors 12s 6d a week advance in wages, but wanted 20s — and the Arbitration Court gave them nothing at all, and even' cut down some of their privileges. — That an orchardist stated at the Palmerston Conference the other day that hobnailed boots killed American blight. Appears that he planted a number of clodhoppers under an apple tree, and that that particular tree did not suffer from the Yankee epidemic. His statement caused very great amusement. — That Mr Corry was very rough on on the Collegiate School when he stated at the Wanganui Education N Board meeting that it turned out nice-mannered boys, good cricketers and good footballers, but not scholars ; and that brother member Spurdle angrily sat on Corry and declared the teaching at the College was as good as that of any secondary institution in New Zealand.

Down Thorndon way, not many miles from a railway station, they have some cats. P m isn't strong against the feline race, but his terrier is. That terrier was the cause of a serious complication. A Thomas and a Tabby would have late meetings, and hold sweet converse at most unreasonable hours. The terrier named Bob, whose slumbers were of the every day sort, didn't approve of this kind of thing, and naturally his temper was slightly ruffled. P would at times go out without Bob, and probably the latter resented this treatment. One night p went home after attending a meeting — unnecessary to saylwhat the meeting was for. Bob was the most grateful dog in the world. In the morning P looked about for his hat — nowhere to be found. So soon as he opened his bedroom door, there was Bob with the rim of his tile in his mouth, and the rest of the head-cover held the remains of a dead kitten. Bob's eyes almost spoke as he planted the thing at his master's feet. P ejaculated, " whipping the cat, by jove 1 " Who says that dogs haven't got intellect ? It may have been a coincidence, but there it is.