LEGISLATORS AFLOAT. A Trip to the Royal Arthur.

Free Lance, Volume I, Issue 4, 28 July 1900, Page 18

LEGISLATORS AFLOAT. A Trip to the Royal Arthur.

BY invitation of His Excellency the Admiral, the members of the Legislature visited H.M.S. Boyal Arthur last Saturday afternoon. Our respected law -makers embarked at the breastwork on the good ship Ellen Ballance, and in a few minutes found themselves alongside the big canoe. * * * On members reaching the deck, His Excellency caught sight of the immaculate white waistcoat of Mr Hee Hem Smith, and, mistaking him for the Premier, advanced towards him with a courtly bow and a magnificent sweep of his cocked hat. Hee Hem, however, was instantly brushed aside by the genuine King Dick, who came to the front with a very .perceptible cloud on his manly brow. "How's this, Admiial?" said. " Why didn't you fire a salute ?" •• Against the regulations, sir," replied His Excellency. " Salutes are restricted to Her Majesty and her representatives, and foreign Sovereigns and their reps.' " Then the regulations must be altered, said the right honourable gentleman; and, turning to Mr Hamer, he added, " Write to the Admiralty by next mail." * • * The party was invited into the cabin to drink the health of the Queen, and, under the genial influence of the Admiral's port, the right honourable brow soon cleared, and he acknowledged the toast of his own health with his wonted modesty and amiability. He proposed the health of the Admiral in return, saying, "The Admiral is in port, and now"— as that officer drained his glass—" the port is in the Admiral," a sally at which members laughed heartily, especially Messrs Mills, Hogg, and Wilford, who were quite boisterous in their merriment. * * • The Admiral retaliated with " When is a Premier not a Premier ?" supplying the answer, "When he's a— board I" This highly original and striking conundrum appeared to fall rather flat, though it had been received with uproarious glee by the officers' mess when the Admiral fired it off only two nights before. Apparently it is akin to treason to suppose that a Premier — at any rate in New Zealand — can be anything but a Premier, even in a conundrum, " for always I am Caesar." » * • The visitors were then invited to go where they liked about the ship, and to make themselves quite at home, and they responded to the invitation in the fullest and freest manner. The senior member for Wellington showed his agility, and astonished the tars by running up the rigging and standing on his head on the main truck. Mr W. J. Napier put a party of Jacks through their facings. The Premier, after entertaining another squad of sailors with an account of the blessings he had showered on the isles under his rule, was respectfully requested to tell it

to the marines, which he forthwith proceeded to do. • • * The member for Wellington Suburbs was very soon in the cockpit, surrounded by an admiring circle of Sons of the Sea, whom he delighted by singing patriotic songs—" John Peel," u The Bay of Biscay," etc. • * • On a brother legislator straying into this part of the ship, some ten minutes afterwards, he found the social glass freely circulating, and Suburbs inviting his auditors to " Call me Tom." He followed this up by dancing a sailor's hornpipe, borrowing a Jack's hat and blouse so as to render it with due dramatic effect. There is no doubt that Suburbs is immensely popular in the cockpit — " no shadow of doubt whatever." • # • Mr Hee Hem Smith was conducted over the vessel by the Chief Engineer, and was astonished and delighted to find that the ship and nearly all its contents were made of iron or steel. Even the discipline on board, said the Engineer, was iron. At the conclusion of the officer's remarks, Hee Hem took the floor and^ enlarged on the potentialities of his native ironsand. He offered to take the Admiral and Chief Engineer to inspect the ironsand in its lair, with a view to their persuading the Home Government to establish a foundry, an arsenal, and a shipyard at New Plymouth. The exigencies of their public duties, however, compelled the officers to decline the invitation, but the Engineer volunteered, if a sample of ironsand was sent to him, to test it in holystoning the decks. • * • Other members distributed themselves through the ship, in the hope of acquiring useful knowledge. • • » Mr Gilfedder, for instance, inquired of the boatswain if had he ever seen a school of whales, and what was the system of instruction pursued. The boatswain, by way of reply, trolled " The Bosuns Story." Mr Hall -Jones was pleasantly entertained by the cook and his mate, and in return for their hospitality promised to procure them captains' certificates with a nominal examination. Mr Atkinson was busily engaged in learning the run of the ropes, and, in company with Mr Pirani, was initiated into the peculiar nautical operation known as splicing the main brace. • * • The legislative party returned to shore about 5 o'clock, much pleased with their hospitable reception on board, and, probably owing to their temporary association with old salts, quite a nautical roll was perceptible in their gait as they made their way from " the Hard " to their various quarters in town.