VALUABLE WATER PRIVILEGES.

New Zealand Colonist and Port Nicholson Advertiser, Volume I, Issue 60, 24 February 1843, Page 3

VALUABLE WATER PRIVILEGES.

BY GEORGE P. MORRIS.

Gentle reader, do you remember Monsieur Poopoo ? He used to keep a small toy store in Chatham, near the corner of Pearl street. You must recollect him, of course, lie lived there for many years, and was one of the most polite and accommodating of shop-keepers. When a juvenile, you have bought tops and marbles of him a thousand times. To be sure you have; and seen his vinegar-visage lighted up with a smile as you flung him the coppers; and you have laughed at his little straight queue and his dimity breeches, and all the other oddities that made up the every-day apparel of my little Frenchman.. Ah, I perceive you recollect him now. Well, then, there lived Monsieur Poopoo ever since he came from “ dear delightful Paris,” as he was wont to call the city of his nativity—there he took the pennies for his kickshaws—there he laid aside five thousand dollars against a rainy day—there he was as happy as a lark—and there, in all human probability, he would have been to this very day, a respected and substantial citizen, had he been willing to “ let well alone.” But Monsieur Poopoo had heard strange stories about the prodigious rise in real estate ; and, having understood that most of

his neighbours had become suddenly rich by in lots, he instantly grew dissatisfied with his own lot, forthwith determined to shut up shop, turn every thing into cash, and set about'making money in right-down earnest. No sooner said than done; and our quondam store-keeper a few days afterward attended an extensive sale of real estate, at the Merchants’ Exchange. There was the auctioneer with his beautiful and inviting lithographic maps—all the lots as smooth and square and enticingly laid out as possible—and there were the speculators—and there, in the midst, of them, stood Monsieur Poopoo. “ Here they are, gentleman,” said he of the hammer, “ the most valuable lots ever offered for sale. Give me a bid for them.” “ One hundred each,” said a bystander. “ One hundred !” said the auctioneer, — “ scarcely enough to pay for the maps. One hundred—going—and fifty —gone ! Mr. H., they are yours. A noble purchase. You’ll sell those same lots in less than a fortnight for fifty thousand dollars profit!” Monsieur Poopoo pricked up his ears at this, and was in astonishment. This was a much easier way certainly of accumulating riches than selling toys in Chatham street, and he determined to buy and mend his fortune without delay. The auctioneer proceeded in his sale. Other parcels were offered and disposed of, and all the purchasers were promised immense advantages for their enterprise. At last came a more valuable parcel than all the rest. The company pressed around the stand, and Monsieur Poopoo did the same. “ I now offer you, gentlemen, these magnificent lots, delighfully situated on Long Island, with valuable water privileges. Property in fee—title indisputable—terms of sale, cash—deeds ready for delivery immediately after the

sale. HoW much for them ? Give them a start at something. How much ?” The auctioneer looked around; there were no bidders. At last he caught the eye of Monsieur Poopoo. “ Did you say one hundred, sir ? Beautiful lots —valuable water privileges—shall I say one hundred for you ?” “ Oui, monsieur; I will give you von hundred dollar a piece, for de lot vid de valuarble vatare privalege ; e’est e.a “ Only one hundred a piece for these sixty valuable lots —only one hundred—going—going —going—gone !”

Monsieur Poopoo was the fortunate possessor. The auctioneer congratulated him—the sale closed—and the company dispersed. “ Parclonnez moi, monsieur ,” said Poopoo, as the auctioneer descended his pedestal, “ you shall excusez moi, if I shall go to votre bureau, your counting-house ver quick, to make every ting sure wid respec to de lot vid de valuarble vatare privalege. Von leetle bird in de hand be vorth two in de tree, e’est vrai —eh ?” “ Certainly, sir.” “ Veil den, allojis.”

And the gentleman rqmired to the countinghouse, where the six thousand dollars were paid, and the deeds of the property delivered. Monsieur Poopoo put these carefully in his pocket, and as he was about taking his leave, the auctioneer made him a present of the lithographic outline of the lots, which was a very liberal thing on his part, considering the map was a beautiful specimen of that glorious art. Poopoo could not admire it sufficiently. There were his sixty lots, as uniform as possible, and his little gray eyes sparkled like diamonds as they wandered from one end of the spacious sheet to the other. Poopoo’s heart was as light as a feather, and he snapped his fingers in the very wantonness of joy as he repaired to Delmonico’s, and or dered the first good French dinner that had gladdened his palate since his arrival in America. After having discussed his repast, and washed it down with a bottle of choice old claret, he resolved upon a visit to Long Island to view his purchase. I-Ie consequently immediately hired a horse and gig, crossed the Brooklyn ferry, and drove along the margin of the river to the Wallabout, the location in question. Our friend, however, was not a little perplexed to find his property. Everything on the map was as fair and even as possible, while all the grounds about him were as undulated as they could well be imagined, and there was an elbow of the East-river thrusting itself quite into the ribs of the land, which seemed to have no business there. This puzzled the Frenchman exceedingly; and being a stranger in those parts, he called to a farmer in an adjacent field. “ Mon ami, are you acquaint vid dis part of de country —eh ?” “ Yes, I was born here, and know every inch of it.” “ Ah, cest Men, dat rill do,” and the Frenchman got out of the gig, tied fast the horse, and produced his lithographic map.

“ Den maybe you vill have de kindness to show me de sixty lot vich I have bought, vid de valuarble vatare privalege ?” The farmer glanced his eye over the paper. “ Yes, sir, with pleasure ; if you will be good enough to get into my boat, I will row you out to them !” “ Vat dat you say, sare ?” “ My friend/' said the farmer, “ this section of Long Island has recently been bought up by the speculators of New York, and laid out for a great city ; but the principal street is only visible at low tide. When this part of the East River is filled up, it will be just there. Your lots, as you will perceive, are beyond it; and are now all under water” At first the Frenchman was incredulous. He could not believe his senses. As the facts, however, gradually broke upon him, he shut one eye, squinted obliquely at the heavens—the river—die farmer—and then he turned away and squinted at them all over again! There was his purchase sure enough; but.then it could not be perceived, for there was a river flowing over it! He drew a box from his waistcoat pocket, opened it with an emphatic knock upon the lid, took a pinch of snuff, and restored it to his waistcoat pocket, as before. Poopoo was evidently in trouble, having “ thoughts which often lie too deep for tears and, as his grief was also too big for words, he untied his horse, jumped into his gig, and returned to the auctioneer in hot haste. It was near night when he arrived at the auctioneer’s—his horse in a foam, and himself in a fury. The auctioneer was leaning back in his chair, with his legs stuck eut of a low window, quietly smoking a cigar after the labours of the day, and humming the music from the last new opera. “ Monsieur, I have much plaisir to fin you, chez vous, at home.” “ Ah, Poopoo! glad to see you. Take a seat, old boy/* “ But,l shall not take de seat, sare.” “ No—why, what’s the matter ?” “ Oh, beaucoup de matter. I have been to see de gran lot vot you sell me to-day.” " Well, sir, I hope you like your purchase ?” “ No, monsieur, I no like him.”

“ I'm sorry for it; but there is no ground for your complaint." “No, sare ; dare is no ground at all—de ground is all vatare I" “ You joke!” “ I no joke, I nevare joke; je n’entends pas la raillerie. Sare, voulez vous have de kindness to give me back de money vot I pay ?’’ “ Certainly not." “ Den vi'll you be so good as to take de East River off de top of my lot ?” “ That’s your business sir, not mine." “ Den I make von rhouvaise affaire —von gran mistake !" “ I hope not. I don't think you have thrown your money away in the land.” “ No sare ; but I tro it avay in de vatare!” “ That’s not my fault." “ Yes, sare, but it is your fault. You’re von ver grand rascal to swindle me out of de Vargent” “ Hollo, old Poopoo, you grow personal; and if you can’t keep a civil tongue in your head, you must go out of my house.” “ Vare shall I go to, eh ?” “ To the devil, for aught I care, you foolish old Frenchman!” said the auctioneer, waxing warm. “ But, sare, I vill not go to de devil to oblige you !" replied the Frenchman, waxing warmer. “ You sheat me' out o f all de dollar vot I make in Shathame-street; but I vill not go to de devil for all dat. I vish you may go to de devil for all dat. I vish you may go to de devil yourself, you dem yankee-doo-dell, and I vill go and drown myself, toute de suite , right avay." “ You couldn’t make a better use of your water privileges, old boy !" Ah, misfricorde ! Ah, mon Dieu, je suis ablme. lam ruin ! lam done up! lam break all into ten sousan leetle pieces ! I am von lame duck, and I shall vaddle across de gran ocean for Paris, vish is de only valuarble vatare privilege dat is left me d present !” Poor Poopoo was as good as hie. word. He sailed in the next packet, and arrived in Paris almost as pennyless as the day he left it. Letting Out. —An Irish tailor, making a gentleman’s coat and vest too small, was ordered to take them home, and let them out. Some days after, the gentleman inquiring for his garments, was told by the ninth part of an Irishman, that the clothes happening to : fit a countryman of his, he had let them out at a shilling per week. Mountains. —Although the earth at the distance of Venus, or even at the smaller distance of the moon, would appear to be a perfect sphere, yet those bodies, when examined with a telescope, like the earth, exhibit great inequalities. Nevertheless, in such a mass as the earth, the mountains subtract less from its spherical figure, than the roughness on the rind of an orange subtracts from its sphericity. For although few mountains on the earth are four ‘ miles high, that elevation is but the 2000th part of the diameter; and the roughnesses on an orange being taken at the 100th part of an inch, and the orange at three inches, those roughnesses are the 300th part of the diameter, and, in proportion, six times greater with reference to the whole orange, than the highest ridge of mountains is with reference to the earth. Such being the case in regard to the ridges of the Himalayas in Thibet, and the Andes in South America, the Alps, the Pyrenees, and the mountains of Scotland and Wales, sink into comparative insignificance.

Sugar. —The art of refining sugar was discovered by a Venetian in 1503, who is said to have realised 100,000 crowns by the invention. Our ancestors made use of it as it came in juice from the canes, but most commonly used honey in preference.

Sleep of Plants. —Towards evening, plants are known to fold up their leaves, and so continue in that state until morniug, when they again expand. This presumed sleep of plants has been supposed bv some persons to be owing to the absence of the heat of the sun, which causes a drooping of the leaves of vegetables. But plants kept in a hot room, where the heat is uniform day and night, contract their leaves in the same manner as those exposed to the open day. The same is observed in the lightest nights, and also in plants confined in rooms brilliantly illuminated during night. All plants during sleep dispose their leaves so as to give the best protection to the young stems, flowers, and fruits. The leaves of the tamarind fold round the fruit; the leaves of the chickweed and others, which are placed upon the stalk in opposite pairs, rise perpendicularly during night, and join so closely at the top as to conceal the flowers. The flowers of some plants, also, alter their position during the night; some enclosing themselves in their calyces, or shutting, as it is commonly called; and others hanging their heads towards the earth; but all resume their original position in the daytime.

. Effects of Weather on the Animal System. —The human body, it is well known, is pervaded with that subtle fluid termed electricity. It operates on the animal economy as

a direct stimulus; and by many physiologists it is believed that the electric fluid is identical with the nervous energy ; in other words, that the power of the nerves really consists in electricity, which, whether as a distinct fluid or not, pervades them. Therefore moist winds, coming in contact, with bodies possessed of more electricity, will rob them of part of their electric fluid,- until an equilibrium is effected, between the earth and air. Now as the human body readily parts with and receives electricity, it will follow that it must afford a ready point for the transmission of this fluid by the surrounding atmosphere, and the symptoms of depression naturally ensue. This sufficiently explains the influence of every different kind of weather in exciting or depressing the nervous energy of the animal system in any season or climate.

A Leap' for Life. —One day during the last week, a party of gentlemen went on a nestling excursion to the Ileughs, near Slains Castle, and approaching “ Dunbuy,” an insulated precipitous rock, well known a a favourite resort for sea-fowl, one of the boldest of the party, enamoured of its rich treasures, ventured to ascend its rugged and almost perpendicular crags, amid the vetoing cries of its reclaimingoccupants, which “ hovered about the enemy,” seemingly disposed to enter their dissents, in the shape of sundry pounces on his face and hands; but, heedless of all, the daring intruder clambered up to the alarming height of 80 or 90 feet, when, accidently taking hold of a piece of loose -rock, which gave way with him, he lost his balance, but had the presence of mind t© make a sudden leap from the face of the rock, much to the satisfaction of his winged neighbours, who lejoiced at his exiL He fell into the water, and to the great joy and surprise of his friends, escaped unhurt.— Glasgow Courier.

Treatment 6f Children. —Severity towards children is cruel, unjust, and most injudicious. When physical correction is necessarv it should always be inflicted with regret and gentleness, and never with a display of anger. I have never used it, nor allowed it to be used, with my own children ; nor has it been necessary, according to human physiology, or the history of nature. It is very erroneous to suppose that a child, either boy or girl, at home or at school, can think like its parents, masters, and governesses, for it wants sufficient observation and experience. It is now considered a great improvement that there is no corporal punishment in modern infant schools; moral influence aloue is exerted to correct infantile faults and deviations from adult advice, which is often very objectionable and erroneous. A feeling of jealousy ought never to be allowed to exist between children; there should be no marked preference. All children are equally dear to moral parents. Literary education ought not to be commenced until the age of six or seven years but the nature and uses of external objects should be always correctly explained to them. Much knowledge may be communicated by the reprentations of pictures, or figures of birds, beasts, fishes, insects, herbs, trees, fruits, and mechanical inventions, bv means of toys, prints, books, &c. It has been long observed by physicians, that children who are prodigies in learning, music, and other pursuits, are generally destroyed by premature disease of the brain, as water in the head, and many other complaints.—

A Bold Preacher. The boldness of Samuel Davies (a qualification so important that even St. Paul requested the Christians to pray that it might be given him) will be illustrated by a single anecdote. When President of Princetown College, he visited England for the purpose of obtaining donations for the institution. The King (George II,) had a curiosity to hear a preacher from “ the wilds of America.” He accordingly attended, and was so much struck with his commanding eloquence, that he expressed his astonishment loud enough to be heard half way over the house, in such’ terms as these, “He is a wonderful man!” “ Why, he beats my bishops &c. Davies, observing that the King was attracting more attention than himself, paused, and looking his Majesty full in the face, gave him, in an emphatic tone, the following beautiful rebuke : " When the lion roareth, let the beasts .of the forest tremble ; and when the Lord speaketh. let the kings of the earth keep silence.” The King instantly shrunk back in his seat, like a school-boy that had been rapped over the head by his master, and remained quiet during the remainder of the sermon, The next day the monarch sent for him, and gave him fifty guineas for the institution over which he presided, observing at the same time to his courtiers, “He is an honest man; an honest man.” Not one of his silken bishops would have dared to give him such reproof. Cure for Toothache. —At a meeting of the London Medical Society, Dr. Blake stated “ that he was able to cure the toothache (unless connected with rheumatism) by the following remedy : —Alum reduced to an impalpable powder, two drachms ; nitrous spirit of ether, seven drachms. Mix and apply them to the tooth.