THE IMMENSE CONCERN MANIA.

New Zealand Colonist and Port Nicholson Advertiser, Volume I, Issue 36, 2 December 1842, Page 3

THE IMMENSE CONCERN MANIA.

It is a prevailing insanity among shop-keepers of the present day to be at the head of an immense concern ; and it is a malady which, in almost every case, finishes with a fatal result, not only to the individual who is the immediate subject of the complaint, but those who may happen to be bitten in the interim. It is curious to watch the progress of the disease to which we allude, and observe its effects on the party whom it happens to attack ; while it is remarkable that, as the cholera took its walk along the banks of the Thames, the immense concern epidemic chiefly confines its ravages to the leading thoroughfares. It generally seizes the proprietors of linen-drapers’ shops, and, like the bite of the tarantula, sets them cutting the most extraordinary capers, in the course of which they start off into a most lively galop, and conclude with a pas, not of the most graceful kind, in the Court of Bankruptcy. The first symptoms of the disease to which we allude, are generally to be observed in an -'insane desire to practise the rules of arithmetic on the 1

windows and the shopmen ; the former being’ divided successively by eight, bgr four, and ultitimately by two; while the latter are continually multiplied to an extent that renders an addition to the premises absolutely necessary for containing them. An immense concern at the west end generally begins in a single house, and the disease first developes itself in a strong itching to take the next door, which, whe;n once accomplished, is soon followed by an eccentric resolution to add the words, “ and Co.” to the name of the proprietor. The malady is not, however, yet incurable, and may be got over, if checked at this stage ; but when, there are symptoms of a disposition to treat for another house, the patient’s case may be regarded as desperate. Another most distressing characteristic of the complaint is, the tendency that is sometimes exhibited to cut away the ceiling of the shop, and annihilate the first floor ; thus subjecting the premises to a most alarming enlargement of the lower extremeties. Having, done its worst with the shop itself, the mania begins to show its effect upon the goods, which suddenly become sprinkled here and there, with small tickets ; but these, in a short time, give way to a rash of labels that breaks out imperceptibly in all parts of the window. The next stage is an eruption of large placards conveying, incoherent hints about ‘ giving away,’ ‘ selling under prime cost,’ and other unaccountable act’s of generosity, which the. patient...professes' to practice ; while by degrees he grows bolder in the tone of his tickets, and sundry commodities are placed under the public eye, inscribed with mysterious allusions to ‘ an alarming sacrifice.’ The breaking out upon the goods shortly flies to the Windows themselves, which, are soon covered.with enormous posting bills, in winch the words ‘ extensive failure’ are extremely conspicuous ; and there is a desperate effort to arrest attention by thrusting goods almost into the street, with a printed invitation to the public to ‘look at this,’ and a most uncalled-for allusion to the ‘ distress of the Spitalfield weavers.’ Tim disease now becomes convulsive ; enormous piles of drugget are deposited outside the shop, in hold defiance of the Raving Act; carpets dangle from the upper stories; blankets float in the air, and pieces of calico flutter in tbc breeze, while straw bonnets are dashed recklessly into the window, with an intimation that there is a choice of twenty-five thousand, all at a price, not even worth mentioning. Blocks are dressed up in cloaks to look like customers; dresses that have been lying in the ware-room since last year, are labelled as ‘ quite new, and just imported.’ Every thing is marked at an astounding moderate price; but, by some strange accident, there is not a ticket but what has slipped from one thing to another, if any one wants to purchase the labelled article. After these very active symptoms, the disease comes to its termination; the immense concern dies a natural death, and the proprietor amuses the public by a series of candid confessions to the Commissioner of Bankrupts, or gratifies a spirit of enterprise by ‘bolting’ to America.”

The Swindler Outwitted. —A short time back, a member of the Sock and Buskin, who shall be nameless on the present occasion, whose propensity to tax the honest trader for his support is well known, dropped into a watchmaker’s shop and selected a watch, price ten guineas, which, not having .sufficient money about him to pay for, he requested might be hooked against him. The master of the establishment; was absent, and the shopman, ignorant of his customer, thanked him very politely for his patronage, begged to be informed his name, which was given, and having been duly entered, the customer walked off with the watch. On the return of the master to his shop, and being informed of the transaction, he expressed himself “ done.” Some days afterwards, the gentleman popped into the watchmaker’s shop again,- and selected a ring value four guineas, the master was then at home, and while giving to the last selected article a polish previous to delivering it to the purchaser, he enquired of him how the watch went; “O!it is a capital watch,” said the gentleman, “it goes well;” “Yes, I know,” said the seller, “it has gone well, but does it not want regulating ? —has it not gone a little too fast ?—shall I just look at it while you are hefe ?” “Aye,” said the other, “You may a 3 well just look at it while I am here;” so saying he handed the watch over to the watchmaker, who proceeded with the most admirable coolness to regulate it according to the time of a chronometer which he produced for the purpose —“ There, sir,” said he, having touched the regulator, and closed the,- case—- “ That will be 10/. 10s. for the watch, and 41. 4s. for the ring, that will be 14/. 145.” “Yes, fourteen guineas, you can book the ring with the watch, said the customer, I have not coin enough to pay you now, hut you can draw upon me at three months.” “Rather have the coin,” returned the watchmaker; “But I insist l” said the Theatric, “ I purchased the watch and you booked it, you cannot now stop it. “ But I will” was the reply ; “I will stop it,, and I have stopped it—the watch shall not go: without the money.” “ Then I’m done,” said the gentleman, and he went from the shop singing “When money’s low the watch must go, and if that wont do, the ring must go too.”