CHALDEAN MS.

New Zealand Colonist and Port Nicholson Advertiser, Volume I, Issue 22, 14 October 1842, Page 4

CHALDEAN MS.

(From the Hobart Town Advertiser).

A Full and Prophetical Account of the Teetotal Festival/Thursday, Ist September, 1842, contained in a Chaldean Writing , said to be lately found in digging the foundation of the New Barrack , by a Soothsayer. This MS. must have remained there at least 2000 years.

Ver. 1. Now it came to pass on the ninth monch, even on the first day thereof, that the sect called the Teetotallers, and a great multititudc whom no man could number, assembled together, shouting and rejoicing. 2. And the artificers, and cunning workmen in all sorts of handicrafts, ranged themselves as in battle array, and moved forward to the sound of the trumpet, and the tabor, and cymbal, and the sacbut, and the psaltry.

3. And their banners floated in triumph over their heads as they did move. 4. And the noise of their shouting, and of the spund of the musical instruments, was exceeding great.

5. And every man’s countenance was glad, and their hearts did leap for joy within them. 6. And the cause of their rejoicing was on this wise.

7. There was a festival held in the Victoria Theatre, in honour of the sect called Teetotallers.

8. And the tables groaned beneath the weight of the good things placed thereon, and an infusion of that herb so much beloved by women, even that herb called tea.

9. And they greet their chief with loud, shouting, making him welcome, and testifying the joy of their hearts to find him amongst them.

10. He ariseth, and they are hushed: he waveth his hand, and they are still: he openeth his mouth, and telleth them all his acts. 11. He defendeth his principles, and relatetli all his struggles. 12. He telleth the turbulent to be silent till time hath made perfect what he hath begun.

13. He is silent, and the hall is rent with shouts of approbation. 14. And many great and wise men of the city did speak: wisdom droppeth from their lips, and-there is a healing balm in their wprds. 15. But behold all that they said, and all that they ate, and all that they drank, are they not published in the Sydney Morning Herald, Seven th q Sydney Morning Herald newspaper of 'Tuesday before noon. 16. And those whose purses prevented them ifrom entering the hall to behold and hear all these tilings,

17. Lo, each of them went into some house, and called upon the master thereof to set before them of his ginger beer or his lemonade. 18. And they drank and were merry. 19. And they said wise things which will never be recorded; and poured out drink offerings to their chief. 20. And all the city did rejoice with exceeding great joy. 21. Now there were certain men who looked upon these rejoicings with an evil eye ; 22. And said, Go to; why do they rejoice when we mourn and weep ? 23. Come, let us have a dinner to turn theirs into contempt; but let it not be of costly viands like theirs, but of homely fare, such as hefitteth us. 24. So they adjourned to a certain house, in an obscure lane of the city, and called unto the master of the house, and said unto him,

25. Set before us none of thy dainties, neither put any costly viands upon thy table, but give us a sheep’s head and trotters.

26. So the master of the house did even as he was hid, and set before them a sheep’s head and trotters.

27. And they drank rum thereto, and did grumble and curse the Teetotallers in their hearts.

28. And now, O my brethren, let us rejoice, let us lift up our voice and sing aloud. 29. For the darkness that overspread the land is now passing away.

30. Therefore let the sons of Sydney exult, and the inhabitants of Parramatta be glad. 31. For, holding ourselves in all patience, our drooping nation will yet arise, and lift her proud head to the clouds; and peace, and happiness, and joy, shall he in all our dwellings. QUIZ.