Domestic Scenes—Punch Served with a Writ.

New Zealander, Volume 7, Issue 548, 16 July 1851, Page 4

Domestic Scenes — Punch Served with a Writ.

Mr. Punch's Irish Maid is heard outside in the passage. O, Lori— O, Holy Saints ! O r Martbyrs, and Stais, and Gyartbers ! 0, Blessed of Heaven ! and is it your Holinesses Reverences 1 [She goes down on her knees. Mr. Punch. What's that noise, Doodena 1 Dnodena. Ay you plaise, Sir, 'tis the Gentlemin wishes to spp your Honour. Mr. Punch. What are tbeir names, Doodena ? Doodena. Ay you plaise, Sir, they say tbeir n.imes is Mn, Wiseboy and Mr. Newboy — and they've brought your Honour a Little Bull. Mr. Punch. A little what I—let1 — let the persons in. Wi&eboy enteis, with Newboy holding up his tail. Tohi/. Gr-r-r-r-r-r-row-wow-rrow ! Newboy. What, Toby 1 Pooh, Toby !—To-o-ohy ! Dont you remember dip, Toby ? Wneboy (present a Writ). ".Before our Sovereign Lord the Pori:, you " &c, &c. Mr. Punch. Confound the Pope! I don't owe him a shilling ! Show 'em out— show 'em out. Dooduna ! Tnby. Gr-r-ow-wow-\vo\v ! '[Exeunt D., W., &N. Mr. Punch. Confound their impudence ! Lord bless my soul ! — It's all from taken that DooDrNA into my service; but she's a poor, ignorant girl, and I've taken her for worse or for better. [Mr. Punch lights a cigar and calls back Toby, and speaks to him seriously. Now listen, to me, Toby, my dog. You were just now going to bite the calves of that Gentleman in the red legs, and very good calves they are. — But you must not bite, Tobif, though I give you hearty leave to growl a little. You see he comes here neither with my leave nor by my leave : announces himself as spiritual pastor and master of my country, and produces his commission to govern over me, signed by the Pope of Rome. Now, | my dear Toby, I just as mnch care about the Pope op Rome as Ido about the Mufti of Ispahan ; and my come in this country and build himself a mosque and minaret, and bawl out thence that there was no Prophet but Mahomet, and that be the Mufti was the Mufti of all England, and his msoque the only place where a man could say his prayers with any advantage, I would let the Mufti speak ; making, when need was, a strong protest against his bawling, and stating every now and then, with all my heart and conscience, that I didn't believe a single word of it. But I'll have no persecution, Toby. I say, keep your teeth out of the Cardinal's legs. The great object is to show that most of us ia this country utterly scout his claim, and laugh at his red hat and red stockings, his ring and his crozier, and his Pontifical, whether he swears upon it to expugnate us or not. That is the main point, wheieof we should convince him — and desire for a quiet life is such, that if the latter were to when he talks of governing us — we say Pooh — Come and say your prayers, and light your candles and chaunt ] your services, and welcome — but as for governing us — > you piitticoated Roman Prince, as you call yourself, you who daren't so much as publish a newspaper, and who haven't even a railroad— we laugh at you and your absurd old-world pretensions — and must every now and then let you know that we laugh at you. But for all that, Toby, we'll leave his Eminence's legs alone. He has as good a right to his crimson as a quaker has to drab, and must have free leave to set up his pulpit, as you and I have to act in our booth. Do him no harm. When those Irishmen battered, and half or quite killed the poor policeman the other day, do you think they advanced their religion by the assault 1 No, nor can we by expugation or persecution hope to make converts by ours. The railroad, the newspaper, free thought and free discussion, all of which privileges we have won in spite of my Lord Cardinal's petticoats, we intend to keep; and when he brags about the progress of his Church, we'll soy to him, " See, Sir, how freedom grows! That flourishes and increases for all you . can do : that will have books for all your Index Ex- ' purgatorious. Why, you cursed and excommunicated England once— but the sun shone on it the next day all the same : and the Armada went down - and the island j grew, and continues to grow, in Strength, and Truth, and Freedom. God save the Queen." Toby, do you hear, Sir? [Toby ■puts his head between Mn. Punch's knees. Mn. P. fondles and pats him

The Women or Windsor. — The Women of Windsor have been petitioning the Queen on the Papal Aggression, and among other matters, " they express the gratitude of their hearts for the atmosphere with which the court is surrounded." We know that some people about a court give themselves piecious airs, hut we cannot say whether these form part of the atmosphere so prized by the Women of Wiuclsor. The address has too much of the scent of Windsor soap about it to please us, and we are pretty sure that Her Majesty's good sense will revolt somewhat against the conclusion come to by the Wo^nen of Windsor, that " the royal example has thrown a lustre over their maternal duties ;" or, in other words, rendeied it " genteel" to have a family. The maternal duties when piopeily perfoimed, as in the case of A'ictoria, give lustre to the highest station, but as to their deriving any lustre from it, the Queen herself would tell the Women of Windsor that the first and moat natural of our affections can require no sanction from a court to

add to their respectability. We never wish to be hard upon the soft sex ; however, we must tell the Women of Windsor that there is quite enough twaddle and toadyism in the world without their adding 1 to the stock, especially when they address it to an illustrious lady whose aversion to humbug of every description is proverbial.

One Way 10 Oppose Papal Aggression. — The public will be glad to hear that tbe Bishops and Clergy have resolved on adopting a course which is calculated effectually to arrest the progress of Papal usurpation. It is said that, in recognition of the cordial assistance which they are expenencing at the present crisis at the hands of Dissenters of all denominations, they have determined on seriously revising their articles and formularies, to see if there are not really certain essential points, agreement on which would be sufficient for their mutual union. It is, however, reported that they intend distinctly to renounce all claims and pretensions founded on or derived fiom that theory of infallibility against which they now find themselves obliged to protest. Rumour has likewise circulated the welcome intelligence that they are about to apply to the Legislature for a strictly equitable adjustment of Church property, with reference solely to its legitimate purposes. The story further goes, that the Dissenters have decided on relinquishing any whims or crotchets which may hitherto have been, on their side, obstacles to coahtion. Lastly, it is declared that nil of the parties, being now awake to the consequences of allowing the population to remain in ignorance, will earnestly co-operate in the diffusion of knowledge, with a view to the oultivation of reason and the extension of oommon sewe, which will be as important a step as any that »ajr ,be taken to resist papal aggression.

Consolation amid CovmovhßSY. Amid these controversal breezes, One slight consideration pleases : Than Ink, there's shed no graver fluid, For Roman Bonze, or British Druid. Suppose this epoch of Addresses Had not Victoria's been, but Bes9*s, -It would have added one more story To Persecution's annals gory. We've now some sharpish mutual slanging, But, Heaven be thanked, there is no hanging; No axe, nocbopping-block, no drawing, But only just a little jawing. On Temple Bar no heads are sticking, 'Gainst Queen's supremacy for kicking; On London Bridge we see no quarters Of traitors cut up into martyrs. There's no Xack Ketch his business plying People beheading, throtling, frying. Punch, and be says it without boasting, Does all the cutting up and roasting.