GRAND BANQUET TO THE POTATO.

New Zealander, Volume 6, Issue 437, 22 June 1850, Page 3

GRAND BANQUET TO THE POTATO.

That highly respected vegetable, the Potato, being now, it is hoped, thoroughly re established in heal'b, it wus determintd by a few leading members cf the Vegetable Kingdom, to offer a banquet to the worthy and convalescent root on his happy recovery. The airaiH'ements for the dinner were on a scale of grea liberality, and the guests included all the principa vegetables. The invitations had been carried out by an efficient corps of Soarlet Runners, and the Onion occupied the chair. He was supported on his right by the head of the Asparagus family, while Salad oc« cupied a bowl on the other cad of the table, and was dressed in hi* usual manner. The Potato, though just out of his bed, was looking remarkably well, and wore bis jacket, there bein? nothing to mark his recent illness, except perhaps a little appareut blackness round one of bis eyes. After the cloth had been removed The Onion got up to propose as a toast," the Potato, their much respected guest." (Immenie cheerinp.) He, the Onion, had known the Potato fiom infancy ; and, though they had not alway« been associated in life, they had frequently met at the same table. They had sometimes braved together the same broils, and had found themselvei often together in such a stew, (he alluded to the Irish stew) tit had brought them, for the time being, i nto an alliance of the very closest kind. He, the Onion, was delighted to see the Potato «nee more restored to his place in society, for he the Oniou, could say, without flattery» that society had endeavoured to supply the place ot the Potato in vain. (Hear, hear.) They had heard of Rice having been suggested to take the place of hi> hon. friend, but ths susrsek...- ' '

Risum tcneatis amici, was all that he the Onion had to say to that (Loud laughter, in which all but the Melon joined.) He, the Onion, would not detain them longer, bat would conclude by proposing health, Ion? life, and prosperity to the Potato. The toast was received with enthusiasm by all but the Cucumber, whose coolness seemed to excite much disgust among his brother vegetables. The Onion had in fact, affected many of those ptesent to tears, and the Celery, which sat next to the Horseiiidish, hung down his head in an agony of sensibility. When the cheering had partially subsided, the Potato rose, but that was only a signal (or renewed enthusiasm ; and it was some minutes beforp silence was restored. At length, the Potato proceeded nearly as follows :— " Friends and fellow vegetable!, — It is with difficulty I express the feeling with which I have come here to day. Having nuflered for the last thiee or four years from a grievous dinease, which seemed to threaten me with total dissolution.it u with intense satisfaction I find myself once more among you, in, the vigour of health. (Cheers.) I should be indeed insensible to kindnfss were I to forget the anxious inquiries that have been made as to the state of my health by those who hold me in esteem, and sometimes in a steam. (A laugh, in which all but the Melon joined.) I cannot boast of a long, line of ancestors, I did not, like boine of you, come in with the Conqueror, but I came in the train of civilization, amidst the memorable luggage of Sir Walter Raleigh, in company with my right hon. friend the Tobacco, who is not now present, but who often helps the phi osopher to take a bird's eye view of some of the finest subjects for reflection. (Immense cheering, and a nod of assent from the Turnip Top.) Though I imy be a foreigner, I may justly say that I have taken root in fhe soil, and, though I mfty not have the grace of the cucumber, who seem* to have come here in no enviable frame (loud cheering), I believe I have done as much, good as any living vegetable ; for, though almost always at the rich man's table, I am seldom nbscnt from, the poor man's humble board, (Tremendous applause.) But" continued the Potato, " let me not get flowery, or mealy-mouihed, for there is something objectionable in each extreme. I have undergone many vicissitudes in the course of my existence; I have been served up, ay, and served out (a smile) in all sorts of ways. I have been roasted by some ; I have been basted by others ; and I have had my jacket rudely torn ofii 1 my back, by many who knew nut the treatment I deserved. But this meeting, my friendi, repays me for all. Excuse me if my eyes are watery. (Sensation.) lam not very thin-skinned ; but I feel deeply penetrated by your kindness this day." The Potato returned his seat, amid the most tumultuous cheering, which lasted for a comiderable time. — Punch.

Reduction. —We are enabled to state that the proposed reduction in the army has been decided upon, and that it will not be carried out to the extent originally intended it will in the following mannejr, viz;— Three regiments in New Zealand and New South Wales, from 1000 each to 750, 750; the 6th Regiment from 1200 to 750, 450 ; the s:h, 20th, 36th, 42nd, 44th, 4jth, 56th, 57th, and 2nd battallion Rifle Brigade, from 1200 each Co 1000, 2200; the depots of fourteen regiments, from 230 to 210 each, 280 : 3080. The surgeons and quarter-masters of regiments having resenre battallions included in the reduction will be placed on half-pay; but the lieutenant-colo-nels, captains, lieutenants, and ensigns, are to be retained on second and re-employed on full pay as vacancies may occur.—Sydney Herald, May 10.

Policy of the Elder Kothschild. -^ One cause of his success was the seciecy with which he shrouded all his transactions, and the tortuous policy with which he misled those the most who watched him the keen* cst. If he possessed news calculated to make the funda rise, he would commission the broker who acted on his behalf to sell half a-million. The shoal of men who usally followed the movement! of others sold with him. The news soon passed through Chapel Court that Rothschild was bearing the market, and the funds fell, Men looked doubtingly at one another; a peneral panic spread; but news was looked for ; and these united agencies sunk the price two or three per cent. This was the result expected ; and other brokers, not usually employed by him, bought all they could at the reduced rate. By the time this was accomplished, the good news had arrived ; the pressura ceased ; for the funds arose instantly; and Mr. Rothschild reaped his reward. But it wai not an unvaried sunshine with this gentleman. Theie were periods when his gigantic capital seemed likely to be scattered to the four quarters of the globe. He lost half-a-million in one EuglUh operation. When the French entered Spain in 1823, he was nlso in the utmost jeopardy; but perhaps the most perilous position in which he was placed was with the Polignac loan, although his vast intelligence again saved him, and placed the burden on the shoulders of otheis. With this, however, he suffered greatly, as the price fell thirty percent l—Chronu cles and Characters the Stock Exchange.

Mr. Layaud's Excavations at Nineveh — LeU ters have been received from Dr. Layavd, dated M osul, October 15, at which place lie ai rived on the last dny of September. Dr. Layaid intended to recommence his excavations an the scene of his former labours as soon as he should be able to assemble his Nestoriau diggers from the mountains. At present the country is in a very unsettled state, and it is scarcely safe to venture out of the city gatci. At the date of his let* ters he had about sixty workmen exploi ing the ruins ; and many bas-reliefs— of which the store seems inexhaustible — were discoveted. But all had suffered from the effects of fire, and they will scarcely bear removal. Of these accui ate drawings will be made by Mr. Cooper, the artist attached to the expedition. Amongst the bes-relieis most recently discovered by Dr. Layard is a representation of the removal of one of the gigantic bulls, showing that they were sometimes, if not always, moved to the palace after bjmg carved. An immense number of men draw a sledge which runs upon rollers, impetus being given to it behind by an enormous lever working by cordi. A cast will be made of this very curious subject in the event of its bjing found impossible to remove it. It is probable that the fine pair of colossal lions still standing at Nimrud will be moved during the present expedition. Dr. Layard paid a Eecond vibit to the periodic^ festival of the Yezidis or Devil worshippers, and was admitted to all their ceremonies. On this occasion he also saw the celebrated Melek Teon, the bronaj bird, the fcxistance of which has been » matter of -.peculation to travellers, and which he describes as a very cuiiom relic— Athena urn.

University of London.— By the supplementary charter recently granted, the powers of this University have been considerably extended ; and it is now authorized to recsive certificates in arts and law 9 from all the Universities of the United Kingdom, as well ea from the respective Colleges of Oxford and Cambridge, in addition to those institutions which were previously empowered by the Crown to issue inch certificates

Pqstagi on Newspapers to thk United States must, according to a notice just usued by the Postoffice, be paid when the papers are posted, or they will not be forwarded to their destination. The pos 1 ""■e is one penny on each paper,— Britannia*