THE COMIC HISTORY OF ENGLAND. George 1.

New Zealander, Volume 3, Issue 169, 12 January 1848, Page 3

THE COMIC HISTORY OF ENGLAND. George 1.

Upon the death of Anne, the English people, who had often wished their kings at " Hanover," in one of those mad freaks so common to nations, now were for* ced to "go to Hanover to obtain one. From this period the annals of England exhibit nothing more than a continual struggle between the Wigs and Tories, or the ins and the outs, and the country has ever since been sacrificed between two thieves. |f But now a rebellion took place in Scotland, in con. sequence of the Duke of Argyle having taken down the series of ••rubbing poits " extended from Berwick to John O'Groat'sso uneful to the Scots in their various performance* on the Caledonian Cremona (Scotch fiddle) when the itching for war subsequently returned and the English were obliged to go and •* scratch their backs " for them. So the plans of the Earl of Mar were marred, and the Pretender •' went to pot " at Preston pans. The Scotch havin? received their " fatal blow," and the English being required no further north, determined to have a " blow " in the south — and so blew the " South Sea Bubble ''—which bubbled a good many. About the tame period arose numerous other plans for the good of the nation. One was for " extracting moonbeam* from cucumbers," another for making deal boardiout of saw-dust, a third for bottling parliament tary speeches for exportation, a fourth for the manufacturing of iron parson*; a fifth for the concentration of " fire " from old valentines ; a sixth for making tea out of birch brooms and sloe-leaves, which last it the only one that teems to have succeeded. George 11. George 11. came to the throne— because the throne came to him ; but in 1745 the son of the old Pretender under some pretence, came over, thinking to get the British " crown " ; but he was soon crown over by the Duke of Cnmberland, and several of his partizans loit part of their bodies, namely their heads, which were stuck on Temple-Bar ai a bar to future rebe Ilions, which some people thought rather bar bar ous. In this reign also, a war was begun with France, which ended nobody knows how, but through it, some two or three hundred thousand poor wretches stood to to be shot at at seven pence per day — and aided to the bulletins by having a good many bulletsin, and in spite of their pig-tails had many a balfd head. j We then gave the French a few lesions in dancing at tho battle of Minden, and tanght them to fly to Quebec although they tried to •♦ sham Abraham," and wanted ! to make us look sheepish at the death of a Wolfe. \ la this reign Mr. Pitt was pitted against Mr. Fox, I and when the latter was thrown out of office nobody 2)itied him. Pitt was said to be a very '• deep pit, " and Fox a very sly Fox. But as it was the fate of the king to fall into the Pit-hole at this time, the reign of George 11. may be said to be closed.— Punch .

A Nice Calculation.— The English hereunitethe spirit of commerce with the frivolous amusements of high life. One of them who plays every night ( Sundays are not excepted here) will tell you how closely he attends to profit. " I never pay a porter for biing' ing a hurthen till the next day," says he ; " for while the fellow fef Is hit hack ache with the weight, he charges high ; but when he comei the next day the feeling is gone, and he aiks only half the money." And the author of this philosophical scheme is worth jg20",000 I— Robert Southey. What Becomes of all the Capb Wive ?— The capital embarked in wine cultivation wai said in 1845 to be nearly two millions sterling ; and the quantity exported into England avsrag • from five to six hundred thousand gallons. The liqueur wine, Comtintia, is well known, or rather well talked about, for it is too scarce and too dear to be within the reach of more than a few ; but, with this exception, the wines of the Cape, pronounced execrable by the firnt English conquerors, I retain their character to the preient day. It shonld not be said that they are entirely unimproved, for they have lost, in some measure, their peculiar earthly state ; but still, they are so inftrior to the wines of Europe, that they are never seen upon the table — under their own name. It is curious that no one asks in Parliament what becoins of the half million gallons which are imported, since there is not an individual of that august body who ever saw a bottle of " Cape Madeira "in his life I The fact is, the British Government coulJ not conceive why we should not have as good wine from Southern Africa as from continental Europe, lince it is well known that the grapes of the farmer oountry are among the finest in the world ; and in order to encourage the colonists to turn their attention to the article, they gave them a discriminative view of abont fifty per cent, it their favour. The consequence is, that the same quality of wine continues to be made at the Cape, and imported into England, where, at nobody will drink it pure, the dealers are compelled to mix it with other win«\ and sell it at twice its value. — Ritchies British World in the East. Nothing makes a young man, who is generaly imprevious to blushes, so ashamed of himself as being caught at Doctors' Commons looking over the will of the father of the young lady whom he is courting from a feeling of the purest affection. The Duke of Bedford has given £13,000 towards the formation of a new street in London.