THE ELECTIONEERING CAULDRON.

New Zealander, Volume 3, Issue 163, 22 December 1847, Page 3

THE ELECTIONEERING CAULDRON .

From Punch. Dramatis PekioNjß. \nt Witch .. „ Britannia. 2nd Witch .. .. Hibbrnia. 3rd Witch . . . . Caledonia. Macbeth . . . . Loud J — n R— ss— h.

lut Witch. Seven years Sib Robert Pkbl htth done. 2d Witch, Thrre and four Lord John hath talked. 3d Witoh. The country cries •• 'Til time, 'tis time." Ist Witch. — Round about the cauldron go, In the aeeda of diicord throw ; Health of Towns und Education, Poor-law, Railway legislation ; Whigi, who shirking work begun, Courting all and winning none, Into suoh a mess hvre got ; Boil ye fint i' the charmed pot. All. — Double, double, toil and trouble. Members spout, and agenti bubble. 2nd Witch. — Mr. Mesgher's warlike glee, Lord Monteagle's charity, Eurl of Rodent toleration, John of Tuam's information, Smith O'Brien's patriot zeal), Eloquence of Thomas Steele, Protestant ascendants' truth ; Repealen witdom, PUcemeni" ruth, Potato bli&hi, and Mortgage -rate. Deep diitru.it and mutual hate, Ancient spring* of Ireland's trouble, ' ' Like soup of Soyer, boil and bubble. All. — Double, double, toil and trouble, Members spout, and agents bubble. Zrd Witch. — Bigot views v. greater gains, Sabbath bills «. Sunday trains, Law of Marriage and Entail, Packs of grouse 'gainst heads of kail, Th« kindly mercies of Kirk Session, Squabbles of Free Church profession, Ross shire landlord's sense of du*y, Glasgow bailie's sense of beauty, Hopes of Whig or Tory places, New-turned coa's and double facesLast, bait to which both young and auld 1 un, Pour bawbees into the cauldron. All.-— Double, double, toil and trouble. Members spout, and agents bubble. Song (as they dance round the Cauldron ) Rnnell buff, Bentinck blue, And Peel neutral grey, Mingle, mingle, mingle, For mingle you may. 2nd Witch.— ln the name of all the " Hum's," Something Wniggish this way comes 1 Open locks, whoever knocks 1 Enter Macbeth. Macb. How bow, you cruel, black, and midnight hags ! How is't to go ? All. — That we don't chooie to lay,

Electric Clock at Manchester. — Of thin tha Manchester Courier says :— Thu clock it the near. cat approach to that which has hitherto been sought forj in vain— perpetual motion s for, once properly adjusted, it will go until a lots of material arrckU its inolion. By means of the one current of the clock in the Exchange, a hundred clocks of a similar construction might be worked. So that if, on a line of railway, there were an electric clock atone of the termini, and one of a similar comtruction at every station along the line, all these chronometers would go precisely ai the one at the terminus whence the current came. Thui, all such clocks in the same building might be regulated in a similar manner. It is not improbable, therefore, that in the course of a short time there will be a number of smaller clocks placed in various parts of our Exchange, all to be supplied by the great one in the electric telegraph room. • •

The Effecps of Lovb and Happiness on thb Mind, — There need* no other proof that happiness is the most wholesome moral atmosphere, and tllat iti which the infant immortality uf m»n is destined ultimately to thrive, than the elevation of soul, the religious aspiration, which attends the first assurance, the first certainty of true love. There is much of the religious aspiration amidst all warmth of virtuous affec - tions. There is a vivid love of God in the child that lays its cheek against the cheek of its mother, and clasps its arms about her neck. God is thanked, (perhaps unconsciously) for the brightness of his earth, on summer evening;!, when a brother and sister, who have long been parted, pour out their heart stores to each other, and feel their course of thought brightening all it runs. When the aged parent hears of the honouta his children have won, or looks round upon their innocent faces as the glory of his decline, his mind reverts to Him who in them prescribed the pur-, pose of his life, and bestowed its grace. , But religious as is the mood of every good affection, none is so devotional as that of love, so called. The soul is then the very temple of adoration, of faith, of holy purity, of heroitm, of charity. The .statesman ii the leader of a nation, the wairior is the grace of an age, (he philosopher is the birth of a thousand years ; but the lover, where is he not ? Wherever parents look round upon their children, there he has been — wherever chil. dren are at play together, there he will soon be—whereever there are roofs under which men dwell, wherever there is an atmosphere vibrating with human voices, there is the lover, and there is hit lofty worship going en, unspeakable, but revealed in the brightness of the eye, the majesty of the presence, mid the high temper of the discourse -"Harriet Martineau.

Looking tothb Pbnny with a Matrimonial Evk— A. good scory ii told by Sam Slick of a cuto fellow, nutned Hugo, who was on the point of matrimony. Hugo found, on applying to the parson, that he could be married instanter by license, at the coit of six dollars, or for nothing if he chose to wait three Sundays for the publication of the bating. Careful Hugo determined ou saving the dollars and went home to wait hii time' when at once n bright thought camo into his head, and back he went us hard as horse could carry him. "Parson, " says he, " I've changed my mind. Here's the six dollar-. I'll tie the knot to. night with my tongue that I can't undo with my treth.'' •« Why what in nnUire' is the meaning of all this, "says parson. "Why," says Hugo, " I've been ciphering it out in my head, and it's cheaper then publishing banns,, after all. Yon see, sir, it's potato d gging time ; if I wait to be called in church, her father will have her work for nothing ; and as hands lira scarce and wages high, if I marry her to night sAc can begin to dig hsr own to-morrow > and that will pay lor the license and just nevcn Bhillings over; for there ain't a man in all Clements thatom dig and carry as many bmluls in a day as she can."

"* Counting a Billion.— What U a billion > The re- | ply is very simple — a million times a million I This is quickly written, and quickrr atill nronounced. But no m»n is able to count it. You couat 160 or 170 a minute, but let uu even suppose that you go as far as 200, then an hour will produce 12,000; a day, 288,000 ; and a year, or 365 days. ( for every 4 yean we may rest from counting, during leap year,) 105 120,000. Let vi suppose, now, that Adam, at the beginning of his existence, had begun to count, had continued to do so, and was counting still, he would not even now, according to the usually supposed age of our globe, have counted near enough. For to count a billion he would require 9,512 years, 34 days, 5 hours, and 20 minutes, according to the above rule. Now, snpposine: we were to allow the poor counter 12 hours daily for re<t, eating, and sleeping, he would need 19,024 years, 69 days, 10 hours, and 4o minutes! —American Literary Gazette. An Odd Advertisement. — A New York paper publishes the following:— " A young lady, perfectly competent, wishes to form a class of young mothers and nunes, and 'o initiuctthem in Hie art of talkingto infants in luch manner as v»ill interest and please them." Be in reality what you are willing to be thought to be. Every man desires to be thought honest, just, and virtuous, that thereby he may gain love and good-will from all that know him. Now the only sure way to be | thnught so is really to be so. Hypocrisy may for a while deceive the world ; but in a little time it will be detected, and render an hypocrite odious to men, as he always is to God. It as been said in praise of some men, that they could talk whole hours together upon anything ; but it must be owned to the honour of the other sex, that there are many among them who can talk wholehours together upon nothing. I have known a woman branch out into a long extempore dissertation upon the edg ing of a petticoat, and chide her servant for breaking a China cup, in all the figures of rhetoric— Addison. The understanding his something more to do than simply to judge us by our outward action ; it must penetrate the very soul, and there discover by what •pring& the motion is guided ; but that betng a high and hazardous undertaking:, I could with that fewer Ttould attempt it.— Montaigne. Wealth.— An equal diffusion of riches, through any country, ever constitutes its happiness. Great wealth, in the possession of one, stagnates, aid extreme poverty, with another, keeps him in unambitious I digence ; but the moderately rich are generally act ye : not too far removed from poverty to fear its ealamites, not too near extreme wealth to slacken the nerve of labour; they remain still between both in a state of continual fluctuation. How impolitic, therefore, are those laws which promote the accumulation of wealth among the rich ! more impolitic still in at. tempting to increase the depression on poverty. Bacon, the English philosopher, compares money to manure :if gathered in heaps (says he) it does no good ; on the contrary, it beuoms offensive ; but being spread, though ever so thinly, over the surface of the earth, it enriches the whole country. Thus the wealth a nation possesses must expatiate, or it is of no benefit to the public ; it becomes a grievance, where matrimonial laws thus confine it to a few. The Great Work of Education.— How strange it is that men should require to be urged to this good work of education 1 The causing children to be taught it a thing so full of joy, of love, of hope, that one wonders how such a gladsome path of benevolence conld ever have been unfrequented. The delight of education is like that of cultivating near the fruitful Nile, where seed-time and harvest come so close together. And when one looks forward to the indefinite extension that any efforts in this direction may probably enjoy, one is apt to feel as if nothing else were important, and to be inclined to expend all one's energies in this one course. Indeed, it it bard to estimate the enormous benefit of enabling a man to commune with the most exalted minds of all times ; to read the most significant records of all ages ;to find that others hare felt, and seen, and suffered, as bimself,to extend his sympathy with his brother man, bis insight into nature, his knowledge of the ways of God. To Improve Vegetables. — Take, for instance, a pea, plant it in rich ground, allow it to bear the first year— say half a dozen pods only, and remove all the others ; save the largest single pea of these, sow it the next year, and retain of the produce three pods only ; sow the largest one the following year, and rot in one pod ; again select the largest, and the next year the sort will by this time have trebled its size and weight, Ever afterwards sow tlie largest dead. By these means you will get peas (or anything else ) of a bulk of which we at present have no idea.— Polynesian. Undertakings.— 'Tis easier to undertake than to retract, especially in momentous affairs. Good, excellent is the advice of the poet Shens'one : " Whatever situation in life you ever wish or propose for yourself, acquire a clear and lucid idea of the inconvenience attending it."