Wise and Otherwise

Northland Age, Volume 6, Issue 33, 7 May 1937, Page 9

Wise and Otherwise

Choosing The Present “I want to get something for >nv husband. He’s a goffer.” “Why not get him a new did ?" “He belongs to one already.” ♦ * * * Vegetarian Teacher : Now r , children, will some of you tell me what a herbaceous border is ? Child (whose mother keeps a board ing-house) : I know, teacher,, a lodger who eats only vegetables. * * * * Terrible Sufferance Beggar : Pity a poor woman, madam, I have not eaten a morsel of food today. Lady ; Ah, my poor creature, we all have to suffer in this world. I have just been obliged to give up my opera box. * * * * A True Optimist Vicar : Amid all our troubles, Mrs. Grundy, I am pleased to see that your gratitude to providence does not fail. Mrs. Grundy : No, sir ; rheumatism is bad, indeed, but "I thank ’eaven I still ’ave a back to ’ave it on. * * * * The Budget He : Is our budget coming along all right ?” She : Oh. it will balance if we do without something we need, so that we can buy something I want. * *■ -Y- * A Libel For A Laugh The latest wicked libel on a noble race begins in the usual way with four men of mixed nationalities goinp' into a bar. The American stood a round, the Englishman stood a round, the Irishman stood a round, and the Scot stood around.