THE CHANNEL PASSAGE.

Nelson Evening Mail, Volume XVI, Issue 216, 10 September 1881, Page 1

THE CHANNEL PASSAGE.

[From « England from a Back Window " By James B. Bailey, the Danbury Newsman.] As Boon as we got under way, the first-class passengers came generally to the front of the vessel, and many of the second-class, passengers kept under the bridge. I stood on a forward hatch, smoking and talking with several others, for a halfchour, and then I went bfcck unde* the bridge} and the secret of the dread with which this , trip is held then came out. Nearly I everybody was on deck,: and many of i them were under the bridge. OnW oi the last nuinber, a French iadv, seriously intoxicated, was doubled up i in. a heap close to the opening for the machinery, where she could obtain a fair and uninterrupted swig at the mingled steam and oil smells with every breath she drew. Other people were doubled up about this opening ; and a number were seated on the sidebenches, staring with fixed melancholy at the deck. But this is the secret. Several men in tarry clothes were moving among this dejected throng with earthen basins. Some one has said (interested in a projected railroad), that, i the more facilities that are furnished the public to travel the more it will travel. The same remark applies in this case. The more facilities the human stomach has to move the more it will move. Ihese tarry -clothed men were kept busy. The vessel was rolling nicely, and the motion imparted to the stomaeh mude it hanker for sympathy. A man might not have been exactly satisfied that he wanted to vomit ; but, when he saw one of these suggestive basins going by, he took a decided stand in jthe matter at once, and beckoning to the bearer^ wen t whooping over it immediately. The French lady kept two men engaged pretty much all the time. The exertion she was making had sobered her : considerably ; and being convinced that she was going to die within an hour, and afraid that her watch w^sslow, she cared precious little for appearances'. She devoted her undivided attention to the basin. ;At times she would moan for two minute* in a low, steady tone : ; then again she would break .put into a howl, or go off into a paroiygtn of whoops; "Whenever she struck the latter, a visible activity, could be noticed in the basing. One vWoinan. who looked like the wife of a, Kansas granger, was sitting on a bench, leaning back, with hands clasped, as if thinking of some well-remembered picture of a dead horse, when an attentive conductor of the bowl passed. the veasel inquiringly to her. With eyes partly opened Bhe caught a glimpse of its appearance, and waving her hand, languidly protested, " No, thank you ! I couldn't eat a mouthful if Ishould diefor.it." And I sincerely believed her. The farther we got out to sea the more the bowls and tarry-clothed men increased. The deck was covered with them. I noticed that one expression did for all. Everybody iaid ♦ Whwhoop !" when he got a basin/ before him ; and those who didn't stand so strictly on ceremony learned over the side of the vessel and said "Wh-hopp!" While I was making, these observations I stood at the opening over the machinery, and took in the oil. and steam vapours aa they wafted up Ward* Pretty soon I became aware that '4 peculiar sensation was stirring inside of. me for a iopthold. It seemed as -if ■ my stomach was gradually assuming the shape of a compact bail, and that the cigar waa losing, in a measure, its satisfying moisture. Just as my throat appeared to have been let out '■ for a castor- oil funnel to a man who was apparently doing a good buainese, the French woman started a fresh and unusually good invoice. Then I bolted for the side of the vessel, and " Whwhooped" myself. I was surprised at the amount of sentiment and satisfaction contained in that simple expression. I threw my whole weight into ifc, and I suppose I was heard in the uttermost recesses of the boat. 1 was engaged some five minutes ; and when I got through, a gentleman whb took an interest in me presented me with a blank card, on which he had carefully inscribed the [record I made in that five minutes. This was the record : — " Wh-hoop ! — whoooo-r whoooo— who-oop ! Ob, dearl— whoooo -—whoooo — whoooo-0000-oop ! Mercy on me— wh-hoop!" (Pause of a moment). "00-00-00-oo^oh— wh-hoop !— wh-hoop!

— wh-hoop !" That is the way a man | fcalks when he is looking over the side of a boat, and taking aim at something with his liver. Learning that I had got through, the officers of the vessel prepared to bring ife into port.